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chuckle
Unregistered User
(1/8/02 1:11 pm)
 How I'm handling doubts
first glimpses of trouble
My first experience with these problems goes back many years. A relative of
mine obtained a position working in the offices along side the renunciants at
Mt. Washington under somewhat unusual circumstances. After he had been
there for several months, he began to wonder why the environment was so
negative--a lot of complaining, grumbling, criticism of staff by supervisory
monastics. There was one monastic in particular that he had to deal with who
was particularly nasty to him; this was a fairly senior monastic. My relative
was stunned that people who we held up as being so very spiritual were, in
fact, decidedly anything but. There was great confusion in his mind.

After several months my relative could no longer take it (at the time, he said
to us: “SRF is so wonderful from the outside, but you have no idea what goes
on inside the organization.”). He was so distraught that he quit his job and
immediately went into therapy (which lasted months and cost many hundreds
of dollars). He ended up quitting SRF, forsaking religion entirely, and is now
an agnostic.

At the time, we thought this was, sad as it was, just an isolated case
involving one, perhaps a couple, of less-than-ideal monastics--it was just a
personality thing.

Meanwhile this relative and other friends who worked or had worked at Mt.
Washington were all into this “secrecy” thing. Everything was a big secret;
no one could say anything, even about the most trivial things. This seemed
kinda weird. Hmm.

Next glimpse

The New Times L.A. article comes out. Allegations of Ma living in a
mansion and nobody knowing about it, fights with the neighbors over
expansion plans, a senior monk has an affair, and endless lawsuit with
Ananda.... While the NTLA is not the L.A. Times, we began to wonder if
there might be some problems on the hill. We check out the Mt. Washington
CANDER organization. While SRF allegations that CANDER fought dirty
may be true, it still seems to be the case that SRF played a very poor public
relations hand and allowed CANDER to walk all over them. We could see
even before Mother Center decided to pull the plug on the project that they
were going to lose. Hmmm

Convo 2001

Ma doesn’t show, which is okay, but people are asking questions, which
seems strange. I mean, if she’s not feeling well, what’s the big deal? But
people are asking questions. Bro. Vishwananda gives the closing talk and
mentions that these are old teachings, that SRF isn’t going to change, etc. My
husband and I think little of it, except to wonder why he said these things.
Then, a friend who works at MW tells us that almost 30 monastics have left
the order, and that a number of employees are having real problems with
their supervisors and hate the working conditions. She adds that Bro.
Vishwananda said those things because some people want to change the
organization, and Mother Center wants no part of it. Hmmmm.

Discover the Walrus
So, someone tells us about this site in November, we check it out and are
shocked and saddened by what we read. It’s just like our relative described
years ago. We feel terrible, partially because we feel for Master’s work,
partially because we realize we never really validated our relative’s
experiences, which now are replicated before us in dozens of stories, and
partially because the stories are truly awful.

Doubts, all kinds of doubts. What are we to think? We sit and discuss things;
you finally realize that if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck.... We know
that almost none of our SRF friends have a clue about any of this. We decide
we’ll hold off telling any friends for now; first, we’ve got to think this all
through.

One of the things you learn as a social psychologist is about a process called
cognitive dissonance. It’s what happens when a deeply held view, opinion,
belief is subjected to a revelation that appears to destroy its validity. This
really upsets you. This disturbing feeling of great upset is very painful, and
you can’t endure it for long. So, you do one of two things. You make a strong
effort to deny the evidence, to rationalize it, to reject it out of hand. And then
the bad feelings go away and you feel okay again. The second thing you can
do, is to say: “Okay, this isn’t going to be easy, but I’m going to examine this
all in detail, dispassionately and analytically, to see if this new evidence is
true. If it is, I’ll have to accept it and modify my belief/opinion accordingly.

So, knowing that we were feeling the cognitive dissonance, we resolved to
work through it. It isn’t fun, but in the end you feel glad that you had the
courage to go through with it. We’ve decided that there is very likely a great
deal of validity to most the stories and accusations, and that there’s a need for
changes to prevent further suffering. Sure, we don’t necessarily agree with
some of the stuff on this board--no one would expect you to anyway--and
there’s a lot of anger and resentment. But that’s to be expected; indeed, I
think some people have been remarkably restrained and decent, given what
they’ve been through. Moreover, there is a great deal of goodwill expressed
here. Many seem to be sincere in their desire to help others, and to help
Master’s work.

Some suggestions out of our experience for dealing with doubts:

--we remind ourselves that doubting is okay, even essential. We found
“Doubt, Belief, and Faith” in Journey to Self-Realization very helpful.

--we remind ourselves that this whole process is essentially a grieving
process. You’re grieving a loss of innocence, the loss of a worldview. There
are different stages to grieving: denial, saddness/depression/despair, anger,
bargaining, acceptance. All of them are legitimate and have their place.

--we think about the fact that Master may be different from the organization
(if for some reason the organization disappeared tomorrow, would that mean
that Master is gone?). By attacking weaknesses in the organization, one is not
necessarily attacking Master.

--we tell ourselves that obedience is important. But is it obedience to truth
and God, or just to an organization?

--ditto for loyalty

--we tell ourselves that it is going to be painful, there’s no getting around
that. We cut ourselves some slack, and take it slowly. I would suggest that
you don’t necessarily accept what anyone else says. You decide for yourself.
But having done so, maintain a respect for another point of view, especially if
that point of view is put forth rationally, courteously, and with sincerity; try
to understand the point of view even if it’s not put forth rationally,
courteously, and sincerely. Respect the emotions that others feel; respect the
anger, for instance. Respect the fact that some people will disagree with
everything the Walrus stands for.

--we have to feel compassion for one another. Regardless of who may be “right,”
everyone is suffering. Ultimately, this isn’t about who’s right or wrong, it’s about the
welfare of all of us. Let’s not forget that we’re all Master’s beloved children. We have to
honor the whole shebang, the whole divine lila.

oldtimer
Unregistered User
(1/8/02 4:41 pm)
 You've said it all
What a great post. All I can say is ditto to just about everything. My own experience was direct--involved myself--but the denial and shock and grieving and all that are the same. I also go along with other posts, saying that one reason the bosses will never get it is that their pain would be greater, if they were to fess up, and they know it, at some level.

I wish, oh how I wish, we could all meet in person. I bet we'd find that we all know each other, but don't know each other feels as we do, because we're all afraid to talk to each other. No, not that; afraid of being found out. And also we still want to protect our guru's work. Now who is the most loyal of all?

fromLA
Unregistered User
(1/8/02 5:40 pm)
 Re: Getting together
How about setting a time and place at convocation this year? No one would have to cop to being anyone, just appear there. I would dare someone from MW to show up to take names. Of course someone might do that in secret. But it's a thought.

adjustment
Unregistered User
(1/8/02 7:21 pm)
 Your two posts today
Dear Chuckle,

I want to thank you from my heart for two of the finest, clearest, most insightful posts on the entire board. I forget where the other one was, but it was also today (1-8-2002). I was going to reply to that one too, and then I saw this one and thought I'd just reply to both. I agree completely.

I'd like to humbly add, in reference to the process you outlined above, that part of my process is to include the doubts/struggles/adjustments in my understanding of the path. Which is to say that for me, Master is still very much in charge of all this. If SRF BOD wakes up and smells the coffee, so much the better for everyone, especially themselves. If not, then it really is too bad, again, especially for them. But Master can still guide us and draw us closer to liberation in either case. Pain and adjustment are sometimes a part of that process, but they're not the end of it. The end of it is "the funeral of all sorrows."

Thanks again,

ps

KS
Registered User
(1/8/02 10:07 pm)
 Response
In my own experience I had glimpse after glimpse of the problems (glimpses of a life divine?). Since the matas are so remote I assumed that the problems didn’t go to the top and that the matas were just unaware of how the organization had crumbled under them. I found out they did know and in fact set the culture themselves. The shock was total and just the cognitive dissonance chuckle mentioned. What was real? What was fake? Had I been sucked into a meaningless cult?

I was shown the Walrus months ago and at first felt it would be perceived as disloyal to be part of the discussions. Then I continued to see the impact, both physically and mentally, to friends and associates, and thought it was the LEAST I could do. Many are sick and depressed, including a suicide in the last year.

Agreeing with Adjustment, I still feel Master is totally in control. I believe what we are seeing is a leadership totally out of tune with the wishes of Master and therefore he is beginning the correction. Enough of his loving and helpful disciples have been hurt; he is going to correct it.

I don’t see much anger here considering, mostly shock and hurt and attempts to share and understand. Considering the depth of the betrayal, the discussion has been amazingly civil and positive. The devotees are proving to be the solid foundation of SRF. Using the matas behavior as a guide, where the slightest criticism is met with an attack, the discussions here are mild.

cjmagorianaolcom
Unregistered User
(1/9/02 9:35 am)
 dealing with my doubts.
You said it all, and it brought tears to my eyes. At first I denied things about SRF, then I began upset, then I felt guilty for thinking such things, for listening to others, and then just as I was starting to become indifferent, I became angry, which is where I am not. Later comes acceptance, so there is an end to all of this. And yes, we probably all know each other, but we have been taught in SRF to keep our mouth's closed, to not say anything negative, and when we question, we are hushed and made to feel ashamed, and here we are all part of SRF or were, and we are afraid to even sign our names to these notices for fear of being attached or found out.

Edited by: srfwalrus at: 1/9/02 11:55:36 pm
AumBoy
Registered User
(1/9/02 10:45 am)
 Re: How I'm handling doubts
Maybe we could all meet at Convocation this year. We would be the group wearing the "Only Love" buttons! hehe

chuckle and everyone else who posted in this thread so far: thank you. It did bring tears to my eyes. It reminded me of when the first crack appeared in the facade of SRF. For me it was the "picture" of Lahiri Mahasaya in the AY. It is not a picture but a painting. And this was before I entered the ashram. I guess I assumed that this was a little oversight but it never went away. And then more stuff happened. This board has been a great aid in healing for me.

I am saddened to hear about depression, suicide, etc. especially from those who have these teachings. But as has been pointed out, the long rigid routines, the "shoulds", these and other issues can be very problematic for many people. For me when I left the ashram, I had to search really hard for a reason to keep going, for a reason to live. I spent much time crying. But I felt Master more after I left then when I was inside. Things are still hard but I feel him telling me always, "Things are going to be ok." Over and over...


Added footnote: In giving more thought to the button idea, I'm wondering if that can be done. The buttons can say "Only Love" or "Only Love can take My place" and have a picture of Master. Underneath it could say "SRF" or "Ananda" or "SRF/Ananda" or "SRF Walrus" or the walrus website. Wouldn't that be great? Talk about PR! I think SRF would freak out. The MC monitor is probably going to pitch a fit when this is read. I'll check out button prices and get back to everyone. We'd need a way to distribute them, etc. Of course, SRF could counter by doing their own buttons. Button Wars? (Similar to Star Wars?)

Question: Do people outside of SRF or Ananda attend Convocation? I do not wish to exclude anybody.

Edited by: AumBoy at: 1/9/02 11:05:03 am
onlylove
Unregistered User
(1/9/02 12:06 pm)
 Only Love Buttons
These are some great ideas.

How about this:
Someone makes a button with a photo of Master, and 'Only Love', or 'Only love can take my place' on it.

People start wearing this button to convo, Sunday Church, meditations. Of course you will be asked 'Where did you get that button?' And of course this creates an opportunity to talk all about it, in whatever way you want. Tell them about what SRF has done, the SRF Walrus, or about Ananda, or about whatever you feel inspired to share.

onlylove

anonymous
Unregistered User
(1/9/02 6:25 pm)
 Buttons
I like the idea of having the walrus website (URL) at the bottom of the button; but in that case, this site needs a shorter URL! www.srfwalrus.com (or .org, .net, etc.) is still available as a domain name, and a place like www.lowcostdomains.com only charges $24 U.S. a year for the registration (the website itself stays on its current, free host).

fromLA
Unregistered User
(1/9/02 8:23 pm)
 Walrus for President
How about a simple button, no words at all, just a picture of a walrus? whoever runs this thing came up with some neat little graphics before they got lost. (whatever happened to that stuff?) Less is more. And who could sue you for wearing a walrus button? It's great theater and great nonviolence.

The only reason they are able to keep control is that people take them seriously. Someone posted somewhere recently that they aren't afraid to post their name, what can SRF do to them? The emperor has no clothes, folks. There is no man behind the curtain, Toto.

chuckle
Unregistered User
(1/9/02 9:42 pm)
 A suicide?!
Omigod, a suicide?!?!? My heart is breaking. I didn’t think I could hear of
anything worse than I already had. KS, I certainly don’t mean to pry and
don’t wish to know any details such as who, where he/she lived, etc. etc., but
can you tell us how this suicide was related to the issues we’re all dealing
with? Perhaps these details are outlined somewhere on the Walrus site and
I’ve missed them, or mentally blocked them out. To think that the actions or
inactions of Mother Center or its representatives could result in a suicide is
shocking, deeply troubling, and incredibly painful. I keep hearing Bro.
Anandamoy’s voice imitating Master: “You hurt it, you hurt it, and you knew
you shouldn’t have!”

I fear, too, that once I learn the details of this, that the hurt and pain I’m
feeling about this will turn to anger, perhaps even to rage, but I would still
like to know. I respect the fact that such an incident may be none of my
business, and maybe all you’ll be able to say is “trust me, the suicide was
directly related to these issues.” I do think we have to be very careful in
linking such a serious consequence to actions of Mother Center. But after
reading what we’ve all read, I wouldn’t put a suicide beyond the realm of
possibility.


Switching topics, I agree with you KS, I think the discussions here have been remarkably free of anger. They have been excellent. Perhaps those at MC could learn a lesson or two about how to discuss things from us ;-). One other thing that is great about this site is the humor. It's fabulous! Some of the remarks just crack me up (I've learned to be sure not be be sipping something while I'm reading). The humor is very helpful when you're dealing with such heavy stuff, and I sincerely thank you all for it. Gee, I wonder if there's much humor at Mother Center these days. An important sign of the health of any community is the presence of humor.

In that vein, I think this button thing is great. Personally, I'd like to see the phrase "only love" in there somehow, because that seems to be so central to the whole thing. As far as a picture of Master and SRF suing someone (and I'm not sure that they'd be able to)--couldn't we just use one of the images of Master that the Ananda folks use that is no longer protected by copyright? At the same time, I like fromLA's idea of the walrus image--it would be great theater. Is there any way we could combine Master and the walrus. Now that would get some folks up at MC riled up!

AumBoy
Registered User
(1/9/02 10:27 pm)
 LOL!
Quote:
At the same time, I like fromLA's idea of the walrus image--it would be great theater. Is there any way we could combine Master and the walrus. Now that would get some folks up at MC riled up!


That is so funny! Should Master appear next to a walrus on the button? Or should we use Photoshop to add tusks to Master! I'm sure some fundamentalist is screaming, "Blasphemy!" for even having the thought! LOL! I'm looking at the "Last Smile" picture on my desk now and Master looks like he's about to bust a gut! :)

srfwalrus
ezOP
(1/10/02 12:12 am)
 Re: LOL!
The little images disappeared because our associated website stopped supporting a remote reference to images. They are still on our website, but unless we find a free location for them we can't use them.

For the button idea, I think it works best when only the SRF crazies know about it. The members who attend should not know the difference otherwise we are black balled immediately. I guess the rumor would get out, but making them offensive to the (uninformed) membership would set the wrong tone.

We need to take the high road. The low road is crowded!

How about a button with Gandhi's picture? Since SRF reads this, they would know, but others would not. We could even hand them out and have hundreds of people wearing them! The BOD would see our influence but not exactly who we are.

KS
Registered User
(1/10/02 12:45 am)
 suicide
A young man who worked at the publications center, and who had been raised in SRF, apparently committed suicide earlier last year. I will not include his name of course. Various rumors exist for the cause, but his life inside SRF and his closer association didn’t help avoid the problem. I don’t believe anyone claims that his treatment by SRF is the direct cause. However, depression is a common condition with those closely associated with SRF. This includes the monastics.

A situation like this is a tragedy for our extended family, no matter the cause. At best it is a shame that a wonderful supportive environment didn’t exist within SRF to help him.

AumBoy
Registered User
(1/15/02 11:24 am)
 Re: LOL!
Quote:
We need to take the high road. The low road is crowded!


More crowded than you know. I wish we could meet someday, walrus. I could tell you more about this statement than I can post in a public forum.

Edited by: AumBoy at: 1/15/02 11:26:01 am
nonSwamiji
Registered User
(8/2/02 8:06 pm)
 Spiritual Death
Last night I had a dream that my dogs were attacking this beautiful, long-black-haired dog that happened to walk into my yard. Thing is, my sweetest dog was doing the most damage. My 'sweet dog' snapped and bit until the black haired dog was almost dead. I was horrified that this was happening. I was nothing but a powerless witness in the dream. When I awoke I knew that this black haired dog was Yogananda. I cried.

I'll descirbe myself as a former, card-carrying-member, hook-line-and-sinker, SRF member. I can quote almost every word that is on just about every SRF audio tape. I can quote lots of Yogananda's(?) writings and the lessons.

I hate what I have discovered. I feel shattered. I am so disenchanted with ism's putting people/things on pedestals. (so many hours here...now I can quote this forum)

I have always contemplated exactly what our duty in life really is. P.Y.'s(?) commentary in the Gita says we can only nullify our bad karma of not doing work in the world by seeking God first. Other than that we must seek justice in our lives and worldly matters. (Feel free to correct me if I am wrong)(I am too exhausted to look up the actual words and frankly feel what's the point anyway?)

Well, what if the Avatar(?) that said that also happened to be secretly running a whore house in his temple and begat a @#%$ kid? I don't know what to believe. I certainly don't know what to do with my doubts.

I have lost hope with the leadership in this world. I have lost hope with the leadership of religions. I remember earlier in my life my first hero I ever had shot himself. I hate to sound so damn fatalistic but I don't feel like I can trust practicly anyone to not be extremely self serving.

Yogananda was/is(?) my hero at this time in my life. He was/is the only man I will say "I love that man because of the things that come out of his(?) mouth." I believed in him, his mission and his church.

I know now today I do not believe in the leadership of his church. I do not know what he did say anymore because I wasn't alive to hear it myself. Did he tell only truth? Did he have powers granted from God? Who was that man?

I protest this p.o.s world and all the liars who hold themselves up to be our leaders and examples. I really want to believe Yogananda is an Avatar, my Guru and my eternal friend.

The only thing I know for sure is that I believe in doubt. I know I don't want another Guru and I sure will not be looking for one.

They say 25%you,25%Guru,50%God. They say leave the path and be lost many lifetimes. They say without the guru it is impossible but, the first chapter in 'Man's Eternal Quest' called " How seekers first found God" notice that there was no guru in that chapter for the first Rishi's?(correct me if I am wrong)

I have had several small questions that have been little voices in the back of my head occasionally bothering me. In case my rantings sound like I might actualy be crazy I want to clarify that I do not hear actual voices but I mean, thoughts. Also known as 'DOUBTS'

I know I do not want to be like the guy in the early lessons that runs from one diet guru to the next just to get new, new, new. I want one, true, true, true!

In case I have brought any of you down I have something to add:
Years ago, at a time in my life I was so depressed that I couldn't taste the food that I was eating, something special happened to me.
I got into the shower late that night. A womans voice called my name. I assumed it was my brothers wife who was letting me know I had a phone call. I immediately got out and asked her through the door who it was. She did not answer me. I was not surprised. 'War is hell' described our living conditions and attitudes towards each other at that time. I checked the phone lines,... no one was there. I called *69...no one had called for hours. I went back into the restroom and rewound the tape I was listening to to see if I heard anything even remotely similar to my name...nope, nothing.... I left the restroom to check the room on the end of the hall and found smoke pouring out of the air vent. The house was on fire. To make the story short, I alerted everyone and we found it and put it out.

I then remembered the voice I heard. She, whoever it was called my name. Just earlier that day I had been thinking about the show 'Angels.' That is the show where people tell the story of how supernatural 'angels' or whatever intervene in peoples lives and save the day. I knew, without a shadow of a doubt that I would be among the millions that die forgotten and alone with no miracles saving me from anything.

When that happened I wondered, do miracles always happen only after trajedies? Well? Today however much I want to, no matter how sorry I feel for myself I can never tell myself that 'someone' up there dosen't love me... God? who knows but someone surley.

Well what does all this mean mixed into this one post? I am not sure but I feel a need to vent to people who are now or have been there and done that.

If you read this and you personally knew/know Yogananda, If you have done Kryias for a time and against all forboding about the subject, recieved results, If you asked just right and consistantly enough to God for him to tell you something that means something, please, please, please share it with the rest of us.

I don't want to try to fly in a broken airplane anymore if indeed I am.

best wishes, NONswamaji








Edited by: nonSwamiji at: 8/2/02 8:10:10 pm
soulcircle
Registered User
(8/11/02 1:21 am)
 nonSwamiji
friend,
wonderful shower story!!!
would it be of some value to you to ask srflongago to email you directly...you do have your email "enabled"... do you understand?
would it be of some value for you to email srflongago yourself?
soulcircle

soulcircle
Registered User
(8/11/02 1:29 am)
 nonSwamiji
nonSwamiji,
when you click on someone's whose email is "enabled." for example click on Aumboy next to his posting, click on his name...you see a small white envelope next to the words "send a message"
when i click on your name I don't see the envelope and "send a message"
if it would be of value to you, to allow us to email you through that sort of anonymous filter, ask, and someone who has "enabled" their email and remembers how better than my memory will guide you....it was simple when i did it!
soulcircle

P.S.
to make things simple for you and I, please email me
<heypoet@aol.com>

prssmd
Registered User
(12/12/03 3:55 am)
 Re:Expansion; Chuckle's "How I'm handling doubts"
Chuckle (see above) lists SRF's "fights with the neighbors over expansion plans" as an "allegation" in a New Times L.A. article. (Actually, Ananda has had this issue arise also.) But why are such fights "allegations," as if fighting about expansion is wrongful? Does Chuckle think that if your neighbors don't want you to expand, then you should just submit to their desires and not expand? That's a very silly approach. Generally, everyone has the right to expand within the limits of zoning law, and to resort to the courts if disputes should arise. To not want SRF and Ananda to exercise their legal right to expand is just like not wanting someone to exercise her legal right to vote. One shouldn't be criticized for voting or for constructing property within the limits of the law.

Chuckle refers to a "Mt. Washington CANDER organization." What's that?

[Editor's note: Here is CANDER. www.savemtwashington.org/ ]

Edited by: srfwalrus at: 12/15/03 4:17 pm
username
Registered User
(12/12/03 5:41 am)
 Re: Re:Expansion; Chuckle's "How I'm handling doubts&qu
SRF spent many years manipulating its neighbors. Inviting them in for special events BUT ONLY if there was a vote coming up for which they needed their support. Then ignoring the neighbors the next year when they didn't need anything from them. Many neighbors couldn't figure it out. I recall them asking me if what the event was that was happening there and them saying .... But I was invited to that last year....

YellowBeard420
Registered User
(12/12/03 10:13 pm)

 Re: How I'm handling doubts
Chuckle wrote (1/8/02): "My first experience with these problems goes back many years. A relative of mine obtained a position working in the offices along side the renunciants at Mt. Washington under somewhat unusual circumstances. After he had been there for several months, he began to wonder why the environment was so negative--a lot of complaining, grumbling, criticism of staff by supervisory monastics. There was one monastic in particular that he had to deal with who was particularly nasty to him; this was a fairly senior monastic. My relative was stunned that people who we held up as being so very spiritual were, in fact, decidedly anything but. There was great confusion in his mind.

After several months my relative could no longer take it (at the time, he said to us: “SRF is so wonderful from the outside, but you have no idea what goes on inside the organization.”). He was so distraught that he quit his job and immediately went into therapy (which lasted months and cost many hundreds of dollars). He ended up quitting SRF, forsaking religion entirely, and is now an agnostic."


It's a wonderful thing that we have this Walrus board so that testimonials like these can be available to the public. It is important that people see things as they really are. Finding truth is what walking the Path is all about. By seriously dealing with these issues (and not explaining them away), we are actually doing true spiritual work. We're no longer accepting life secondhand as given to us by others. We're seeing and dealing with life as it is, not how we want it to be, but how it actually is. Many believe that real spiritual work merely consists of meditation and other practices of Self-discovery. But this work here is just as important.

The person in the quote above saw beneath the carefully polished image of SRF. Dealing with this realization is painful. We hear all about the infinite bliss, love and wonder of Self-realization, but in actuality, there's much pain involved in the process. So when we encounter pain on this Path, we think that we're going in the wrong direction. We're growing, breaking through barriers and learning to walk on our own. This process is bound to be painful at times.

When YellowBeard first came into contact with SRF, he felt it was a true fellowship of people coming together who had experienced glimpses of Self-realization and were working together to deal with this new experience. It was very disheartening to eventually find out that this was not the case. The organization turned out not to be a fellowship of equals, but a worshiping platform of a spiritual hierarchy. This is no doubt difficult to face at first, but something interesting happens when we fully face this fact. We haven't been betrayed, we've been blessed. We've been freed from an attachment that was merely a crutch.

The corruption within the SRF organization extends from the peripheral elements, to the inner circle, and all the way up to the top -- the founder. The immediate response to this is hostility and denial. The appropriate response should be investigation. The truth doesn't fear the light of careful inquiry. We have to ask ourselves why we make the guru untouchable in this process of finding truth. Will we experience the ultimate betrayal? Will we be shunning our relationship with God? Will we be committing the original sin?

If one can make it through this frightening phase of our development, one will see something very different other than the horrors of original sin. If one continues to walk the Path through this dark cloud, on the other side awaits something most beautiful -- your freedom. In order to see through this dark cloud, or dark night of the soul, one will have to find a light. With all hierarchy gone, you will find a light of your own. This Light will be the Light within yourself. This is Self-realization. You will find that the Divine dwells within you just as much as in any guru or messiah. Spiritual Truths will flow from you. Following another will no longer be necessary or even desirable.

Edited by: YellowBeard420 at: 12/12/03 10:16 pm
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