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SRF Walrus > Treatment of Members/Monastics > The thought of unfair treatment is fatal
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Deep Unregistered User (10/14/01 10:14 am) Reply	The thought of unfair treatment is fatal Blue Cowboy, 10/14/01 in a post titled Only Love said *Quote:* Sr. Gyanamata said "to permit the thought that one is unfairly treated to enter the mind of the devotee is fatal, for the will of the Guru flows to the disciple at all times." Enough whining. Get over it guys. I know: They should have see you guys were "saint material," "minister material," and I know you guys could all do better than the Board, but that's not the roll of the dice. Get on with your lives. I have been thru everything you guys have, and some of you have valid points, but it's time to heal. They aren't the greatest - and we aren't the greatest. I coulda been a contenda! (actually we are all saint material of course) To be honest I do think many of us could do better than the board. It is the worst group of managers I have seen, and with their behavior problems they are not hard to beat. But that is another story and probably looks like ego to the blue cowboy. We are of course complaining about our treatment. And Sr. Gyanamata was right. But if you walked into a room and got beat up, then escaped, might you not discuss with others who have been there how you happened to take that route and end up in the room? And wouldn’t you feel better possibly warning others to stay out of the room so they don’t get hurt?
blue cowboy Unregistered User (10/14/01 11:40 am) Reply	The Soul is Saint-Material; The Ego gets its Butt whupped Dear deep: I agree that when you leave the order you need to talk, and it is helpful to talk to others who've dealt with the same issues. However, the point to heal and get over it, not to be permanently embittered. After I left the order I was pretty depressed and bitter. However, I got to a point where I didn't want to be the person I was becoming. I used positive affirmation, unyielding meditations, etc. to work out of it. I recall the first Christmas after I left, I was depressed and didn't want to go the Open House because I felt I would be shunned. A real friend made me go, and monastics were coming up to me and hugging me like I never left. Yes, mistakes are made. Both by us, the SRF Board, etc. We are all learning and evolving. Bababji even came to Lahiri Mahasaya at the Kumbla Mela because he was thinking ill of an anchorite, and Babaji washed the man's feet. I'll tell you a story to explain my faith to you Deep. Once I was at a satsanga and Ma was going down the aisle grabbing hands, blessing. When she grabbed my right shoulder, I felt an energy rise in my spine and I callapsed and the guy on my left caught me. I felt joy. Since that day I never doubted her or the SRF Board. Bro. Anandamoy sez doubt and you'll be sent more doubt, have faith and it will be strengthened. I went in the order at too young an age. I had to leave to grow up. Now I teach Sunday school, am a BYP counslor and love my life. I see that it has been my perfect path designed by Master. But looking externally, I wasn't treated that great: I recall Bro. Turiyananda yelled at my for half an hour my first day of work at Lake Shrine because I was five minutes late for work. And when Bro. Anandamoy wanted to get something across, LOOK OUT! But then again, when you had the right attitude and he could see you got the point, he instantly changed into his joyous Self again. If they offered me money for those years, I'd say NO I OWE YOU MONEY. Thank you for those blessed years. Thank you for the blessing to serve Master's work. Thank you for uprooting those diseased, ego-infected teeth! Yes, Deep, if getting closer to God and Guru (for some people NOT all) means going thru a room & getting beat up, I'd say "YES, go ahead. Sri Yukteswar just looks tough - he's really the pussycat of Bengal and has a heart of PURE GOLD!" in sincere divine fellowship & friendship, bc PS: There is one more lawsuit I forget about (and this is filed by (not against) SRF) and that's a new one perhaps filed against the New Times L.A. for slander.
Deep Unregistered User (10/14/01 1:52 pm) Reply	Landing on your feet Cowboy: I am really happy for you. Things seem to have worked out great. I have to agree that being at temple and working at youth program and convocation were always the joys of my life too. Hidden Valley was great, etc... Master has a large number of truly wonderful devotees. Those experiences were why I wanted to get closer to SRF. I felt real joy in the true disciples I found volunteering at those places and they were examples of what Master and his teachings was all about. For some reason I thought the SRF leadership would be the same kind of people and I fault them for encouraging that thinking. I expect my path to be similar to yours in many ways. I hope to be able to keep most of my friends but I expect to expand my previously limited view of serving Master. I hope to get involved in many types of community service and see helping people as truly serving. Helping the bad ladies maintain control is not serving Master. The only thing I can’t see myself doing is attending the Open House (or working for SRF). You are judged by those you associate with. While they push the monks out in front at open house, and never show up to greet the members themselves, the bad ladies are disappointing people I don’t want to even be close to. I feel no need to attend and don’t see the point in it. I am even wondering what you think SRF’s reason for having these open houses is? And why doesn’t the SRF leadership show up for these events? Again, I am really happy for you and can see the sincerity in your thoughts. I hope all those abused by SRF land on their feet as you did. And I hope we can stop more from getting hurt.
Raja Begum Unregistered User (10/14/01 3:59 pm) Reply	To the little one wearing Blue Cowboy pajamas Blue Cowboy ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Yes, Deep, if getting closer to God and Guru (for some people NOT all) means going thru a room & getting beat up, I'd say "YES, go ahead. Sri Yukteswar just looks tough - he's really the pussycat of Bengal and has a heart of PURE GOLD!" in sincere divine fellowship & friendship, bc" ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- The operational phrase here is "for some people NOT all." NOT everyone finds the way of spiritual Sado-Masochism fulfilling. But you call yourself a cowboy. So go get 'em cowboy. Yep, the people of the Old Testament had their God of wrath and judgment. And the people of the Vedas had the Infinite Enchantment. To each his own. ...."diseased, ego-infected teeth" ?? So how does it feel to be a toothless cowboy?
Moving On Unregistered User (10/14/01 7:47 pm) Reply	Go Betweens Blue Cowboy you sound sincere however it sounds like you still like to keep the Matas and senior monks on a pedestal. If it works for you - fine. But please respect the opinion / experience of others when every part of our being tells us not to put anyone on that pedestal ever again - except the Guru.
KS Unregistered User (10/14/01 8:23 pm) Reply	Letter to Ma To Cowboy: I could teach Sunday School again, but I could never again read the kids a letter from Daya and fake devotion to her. I wish I was back in my old bliss bunny days sometimes, when things were so simple, but the urge passes. And thanks for stiring up all this discussion. We need to talk everything out!
JLM Unregistered User (10/16/01 6:37 am) Reply	Blue Cowboy I have read your response above and have a few statements regarding your comments. You say you left the ashram and were faced with depression and bitterness that you had to deal with. What about those of us who had depression and bitterness while IN the ashram? Certainly you must be aware of the emotional state of many of the monastics who suffer from those conditions as well as suicidal tendencies. Why did SRF hire a psychologist to tend the monks and nuns if there were not a major problem? And do not fool yourself into thinking it was out of compassion that they hired this person. It was strictly for PR purposes. Imagine what would happen if "outsiders" knew there was trouble in paradise. You mentioned returning to the open house and being warmly welcomed. Tell me, were there a lot of people standing around in order to witness this extension of love being given to you? Do you think that if you were alone, you would have been received in the same manner? It sounds as if you are deeply involved in SRF even today. Could it possibly be that they need whatever it is you do for them and when that usefulness is over, you will be treated differently? Most of us are treated worse than lepers when we announce that we are thinking of leaving. We could go into detail about that treatment but it has already been said on this board. You also mentioned that you were too young when you entered the ashram and you hadn't grown up yet. How young is too young? 13? 17? What about the "BAD Ladies" that entered at that age? Have they continued to grow or (gasp-gasp) did they stagnate and stop their growth as you did?? And to compare your being "whupped" as a blessing is bizarre. With your description of the bliss you felt after having indured the pain, I can only imagine how wonderful and blissful the early settlers of this country must have felt when, after being captured by Indians, were beaten as they were forced to run the gauntlet. Do you suppose they experienced samadhi as they trudged along? Do you suppose they thanked their captors and said "What a wonderful experience, is there anything more I can do for you?" Tell me, Blue Cowboy, have you ever watched a rock concert or even films of young people watching their favorite pop star? Did you ever notice how some of them faint and swoon? Ah, the mystique that is built up around some of these performers. Now let us think of your encounter with Ma. She touched you and you felt such joy that you fell over. Do you suppose the same mystique has been built up around her? I have been touched many times by Ma. The first time, I thought I was drunk. When she touched me again over the next few months, I felt NOTHING. I wondered what was wrong with me. Then I realized that NOTHING was wrong with me. The mystique had worn off and she was just another person. If she is God realized and all knowing, seeing and all the other things we were led to believe about her, WHY does she not know what is going on all around her? WHY can she not feel the pain of those wonderful souls that are suffering all around her, every day?? WHY is she and the other bad ladies, who we have also been led to believe are such caring, divinely appointed spiritual beings so far out of touch with reality? Perhaps you are right on this one, Blue Cowboy, they came into the ashram too early and haven't grown up yet. But, how long is that going to take? How many more people have to suffer through their puberty?? I have learned that God is love. I didn't learn that in the ashram. I also have learned that God wants us to be happy because that is what he is - love and joy- and we are made in His image. Even Master told the story of the father who he instructed to take his son and force him into a hot oven to teach him a lesson. Remember that story, BC? The man says to Master that no loving father would do that to his son. How then can you think that God or Master would approve of what is happening within SRF this very day? Perhaps, BC, that as your initials imply, you need to come up to the modern age and see things for what they are.
Raja Begum Unregistered User (10/16/01 12:23 pm) Reply	Where's the daya in Daya? Quoting JLM: ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- If she [Daya Mata] is God realized and all knowing, seeing and all the other things we were led to believe about her, WHY does she not know what is going on all around her? WHY can she not feel the pain of those wonderful souls that are suffering all around her, every day?? WHY is she and the other bad ladies, who we have also been led to believe are such caring, divinely appointed spiritual beings so far out of touch with reality? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Personally, this is THE deal-breaker for me. It's the Gita which says the greatest yogi is one who is accessible to all. I find it troubling that Daya Mata isn't utilizing her supposed Cosmic or Christ Consciousness to step forward and take the proper actions which would bring healing and understanding to all the members of Master's family. Even our revered Babaji was not above descending from the Himalayas to wash the feet of a common sadhu at a Kumba Mela. To me this is the silent tragedy which besets Master's organization. Everywhere, a strain of selfishness, denial, and self-centeredness. I have taken friends to SRF and they've unanimously commented how SRF people are self-absorbed and stulted. Which leads me to wonder if meditation and sadhana SRF style might be comparable to masturbation --- self-satisfying but not about loving others.
PostMonk Unregistered User (10/16/01 9:43 pm) Reply	The "joyous" Anandamoy Dear Blue Cowboy, I'm not sure which Bro. AY you refer to in your earlier posts. I lived with AY for 11 years and never saw the "joyous soul" you refer to. What I did see was an old man waiting to die, waiting for the "bad times" to come so that us youngsters would learn "real discipline". I saw a "monk" waiting for God to punish the earth. I saw a gestapo mentality that cared not for the Monks but for the members' perception of SRF. I will say this, he is absolutely sincere and dedicated to his spiritual life. But he is also a social misfit that has no business being in charge of young lives. The only thing joyous about 'ol Henry is that my now not-so-young life has been placed far beyond his warped reach.
Raja Begum Unregistered User (10/16/01 10:39 pm) Reply	Bro. Anandamoy It just sounds like he never freed himself from his Calvinist upbringing.
Another Ex Unregistered User (10/21/01 8:58 pm) Reply	Anandamoy Right on, RB! In this year's convocation Brother Anandamoy talked about Master being a perfect mirror and how when standing before Master he became aware of all his personal flaws. But I ask this question: Why did he not also become aware of all his GOOD qualities? Master surely would have been mirroring those, too! Anandamoy's preoccupation with his flawed, sinful nature dictated what he saw as being mirrored by Master, and this totally obscured his ability to see that Master was also mirroring his angelic qualities. Sounds Calvinistic to me.

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