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Amidala of Coruscant Registered User (7/2/03 7:00 pm) Reply	Br. Satyananda I used to once have such a special connection with Br. Satyananda even though he would totally brush me aside in favor of the popular lay disciples. I would like to know anyone else's experiences regarding this and if anyone can explain what could have happened to suddenly break the connection. The very last time I talked with him, he was very abrupt at a time I needed him to hellp me the most and it was at the time when he just found out he would be moving to Phoenix temple. I think what really turned me off was when I turned 30 and felt like I was going through a mid-life crises and like SRF devotees treat you different once you're past age 25 if you didn't manage to get into the popular group before then and I really felt I had no friends at all until I met my friend in my Egyptian dance class who is like a reall sister to me and does call me to say hello and not just for business purposes. You can imagine how "old" I felt and so much worse after Brother's smug announcement on the podium. Br. Satyananda was saying on the podium how he does not give his email to just anybody but then he announced "But if you are a teen or twenty, then you can have my email." and I know he emails the older and middle aged popular lay disciples all the time. It really turned me off and his way of favoring popular people really started to sever my connection with outer SRF. Has anyone had similar experiences with Br. Satytnanda when they thought he was a great saint (well, he still could be. Maybe the Lord was just telling me to move on) and then they were disappointed later?
DefunctMonk Registered User (7/2/03 11:41 pm) Reply	Re: Br. Satyananda Hi, Amidala. Are you a woman? If Satyananda gets the idea in his head that a woman might have feelings for him, he'll give you a dose of the cold and pricklies until he's convinced you're not interested (no matter how pure the feelings). Those are Daya Mata's directions on how a "good monk" should treat a woman devotee if he suspects they're hunting for a husband. Personally, I don't believe that such behavior makes one a good monastic but only a rude monastic. Are you saying he actually announced your age in a temple announcement? If so, tacky! Some ministers get away with atrociously rude manners, just because they're ministers. Premamoy would have raked him over the coals for such meanness. His e-mail is no secret, so I don't know why he's acting like he's giving anyone the inside scoop by sharing it. It's satyananda@yogananda-srf.org. About his being a saint, I doubt it. So does every other monk who has ever lived with him. And any monk that has left the ashram has seen Mr. White's true colors. I don't even like to call him Satyananda, as his behavior has little to do with Truth. Truth doesn't hurt people; it heals and uplifts. I recommend you trust your gut reactions regarding him, and measure his behavior by the same yardstick as you'd use to measure anyone elses behavior. You know what good and bad manners look like. Don't sell out on yourself. He's got very good advice, gives good speeches, and he has a very sharp mind, but he's no flawless channel of the guru -- not by a long shot.
KS Registered User (7/3/03 5:51 am) Reply	Re: Br. Satyananda Satyananda loves the teens doesn't he! Even the young girls. Hmmmmmm. It is easy to amaze them with his profound words and good looks. People assume these guys are safe. Watch out. People have seen him many times counceling young women on the grounds of the mother center one on one or in a corner of the gardens. He loves the attention. Parents think he is "great" for helping their kids. It is all about him. He loves to attention, make not mistake. He is of the opinion that he will one day be prez of SRF. The bad ladies will never let that happen but his giant ego feels it is his destiny. He has told several of the monks about the tremendous weight on him to support SRF. He forgets God is the doer I guess. If you had been a 16 year old girl you would have gotten plenty of attention.
KS Registered User (7/3/03 6:01 am) Reply	Re: Br. Satyananda The search facility on this board is TERRIBLE! Hey Walrus, can you do something about that? There are many messages about Satya on this board. I can't find many of them. pub78.ezboard.com/fsrfwal...ID=2.topic pub78.ezboard.com/fsrfwal...D=11.topic pub78.ezboard.com/fsrfwal...ic&index=4
Amidala of Coruscant Registered User (7/3/03 10:38 am) Reply	Re: Br. Satyananda Hello Defunct Monk Thank you for your sympathizing. Actually Brother did not announce my age to the whole congregation. What happened was he was giving a lecture on simplicity and saying that one way he made his life more simple is that he's careful about who he gives his email out to---(which I know he gives to all the popular people because you hear the popular people always talking about how they email him regularly). Then he said that he doesn't give his email out to just anyone but "if you're a teen or a twenty, then you can have my email." Of course I felt hurt and so old since I just turned 30 at the time. If you're not in the "in" group by age 25, forget it! You have no chance of being special to Mother Center after that. also, I want to share just a little bit that I was very hurt by his last counseling. It was a time when I was seriously going through many spiritual changes inside and (believe me, I can't help it!) was suddenly connecting with certain avatars from the Ancient Egyptian times after reading Haich's book called Initiation. (I never planned this to such an extent. I was originally only reading the book in order to research for my novel I was writing). What do you do when you know in your heart you're connected with Someone who is not necessarily one of the 6 SRF gurus and is from a whole different time? I tried so hard to suppress this and even tried to stop writing my novel but it kept constantly pulling at my heart. When I called Brother, I still didn't know how to say it, and actually I did not tell him about all that because I was thinking I was just resentful because I work full time and of course all he could do was tell me to do the best I can. (well, now I'm realizing I was mad because somehow the spiritual experiences that I knew in my heart to be true---were not your classic SRF experience of maybe hearing a voice from everywhere tell me to study my lessons and always attend group meditation and only have SRF friends and only worship avatars who are SRF and nothing else, the way I though it was all supposed to be. And it was my resistance to my experiences that was making me so mad and frustrated and concerned since I no longer felt like the classic good little SRF devotee who only does what the blue book says) I have drawn some beautiful artwork. Well, I did hint to Brother that I love to draw pictures of the divine (I certainly didn't tell him they were of Egyptian---then he would have thought I'm pagan or something). He said to me, "someday you're gonna have to tear up those pictures" and I said, "Brother, are you joking?" and he sounded suddenly abrupt and said, "You know if I'm joking," and then quickly changed the subject talking about him going to Phoenix Temple. I was hurt that I wanted to share with him certain things and he never accepted from me as he would from popular people.Once I noticed Mita Mukherjee a very absolutely popular lay disciple and favorite of Brother's give a tape to Brother of a Andree Bocelli. He expressed such gratitude and joy of receiving the tape. So a year later I gave a tape of a beatufiul Yogananda chant I composed. He never said anything. I figured that maybe anything creative I do was just not holy enough for anyone in SRF to like and so I suppressed my creativity for so many years. Not any more! And I no longer suppress what I know in my heart to be my connection to the Lord for me even if it's not in the blue book. I love kriya and regularly do the SRF routine and read Where There is Light---but I'm tired of all these other extra rules. Life is too short and I would rather have loved the Lord "the wrong way" than have lived in fear trying to do everything right. If the Lord manifest his love to me a certain way and I don't find it word for word in the SRF approved materials, I am NOT going to say to him, "Sorry, but I can't accept you this way because I don't see anything the explains this in the MC approved material." PS: No, I was NOT looking for a husband!!! Brother paid more attention to plenty of women. One lady at temple was bragging, "Oh, I follow Brother around everywhere, and he knows it!"
soulcircle Registered User (7/8/03 11:52 am) Reply	two spot on things about Mr. White All, Mr. White will give you a counseling appt. and then call your spouse on phone and spill the confidential material. Mr. White, as a monastic is superior to 99% of lay people if not all, and he knows it. MC is his spiritual home, ask him if it's yours? if you can get minutes of last board meeting, if you can sit in on it.....laughing so hard I fell off my chair. if he can sit in on it? Mr. White is cooler than the average [yogi] bear ain't I so cool too circle
crogman1 Registered User (7/14/03 12:23 am) Reply	Re: two spot on things about Mr. White Beware Mr. White (Satya). He sees himself as the future leaders of SRF, as a key supporter of Master's. He will play to all sides at the same time while keeping only Mr. White's goals in mind.

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