The Final Phase: Denial to Embarrassment

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KS Registered User (3/6/04 8:48 am) Reply	The Final Phase: Denial to Embarrassment Many of the people posting seem to have already passed through the SRF stage where you realize SRF is not what it seemed. Denial and pseudo loyalty kick in very strong at that point and you resist for a good number of years. However, Master finally wins and you see SRF for what it really is -- a disappointing cult. You see it is not at all the place Master started. Often then a wave of embarrassment at being fooled all those years’ rolls over you. You had always thought you were too smart to fall for a religious cult. So what do we do next? How are you all handling your past association with the SRF cult? If you have been in for 10, 15, or even 20 years it has been a big part of your life. You have pictures and stories and probably took vacations to go to the SRF convention during the summer. How do you now explain that to friends and family? When you meet new people and they see your bangle or a copy of the lessons on your shelf or pictures of you at some event, what do you say? Many people are now or soon will be going through that embarrassment/adjustment/recovery phase. How have some of you handled it? How do you maintain, if you do, some form of spiritual life with all those negative SRF associations? Edited by: KS at: 3/6/04 8:50 am
ugizralrite (3/6/04 11:02 am) Reply	Re: The Final Phase: Denial to Embarrassment "When you meet new people and they see your bangle or a copy of the lessons on your shelf or pictures of you at some event, what do you say?" --------------------------------------------------------------------- They are battle scars in the spiritual quest.
KS Registered User (3/7/04 7:14 am) Reply	Re: The Final Phase: Denial to Embarrassment The reason I ask is that from my own experience this has been difficult. I am embarrassed especially in front of family. They all kept telling me it was a cult and I thought they were the religion for the New Age. I think of myself as fairly smart and this was a hard pill to swallow, which was probably good for me to go through. I don’t talk about SRF with anyone and just hope it doesn’t come up. When a discussion of religion comes up I admit I practice eastern religion but I don’t attend any church (common for eastern religion). I no longer wear my bangle since it was a constant reminder of my foolishness. I do mention Master on occasion and ran into someone at work who knew of SRF. I just mentioned that a lot of organizations claim Master, which is true, and it blew over the topic pretty fast. Friends from SRF still of course know and they look at me as some kind of fallen angle but it is harmless. Many of them are still doing serious mental gymnastics to stay involved and I feel sorry for them more than anything. These SRF friends always point to the fact that there are “good people” there at SRF. So when are you coming back? I remind them that there are “good people” everywhere even at the local grocery store but the grocery store manager doesn’t claim to be God realized while abusing his employees! I have buried all pictures of those days. I avoid situations where I might need to explain those foolish days.
ugizralrite (3/7/04 10:59 am) Reply	Re: The Final Phase: Denial to Embarrassment I think that Yogananda said frequently that other people aren't as interested in your welfare as you may think, and that if you could see into their minds you would see that they are mainly interested in themselves. I used to really fear what other people thought about me, but with advancing years have realized that most people hardly give me a thought at all. I look back at my own past and grimace occasionally, but two things come to mind that ease the embarrassment. First, God is the author of my life to the smallest detail. Second, go forward and use the past only as a lesson. Who you are is a now thing. What you are now and are becoming can undo mistakes of the past by demonstrating that you are building a new life on the foundation of experience. That is the story of humanity, a bigger better city rises on the ruins of the old. If your friends and family see you as being poised and comfortable in yourself, they will have little to criticize. I am sorry, but I don't know you or your circumstances so my advice comes only from my own experience. Hope things get better for you soon.
ranger20 (3/8/04 11:13 am) Reply	Re: The Final Phase: Denial to Embarrassment *The Final Phase* - A powerful name for a thread, but one that suggests a slightly different meaning to me than has been posted so far. Fortunately I'm not suffering much in the way of embarassment. Probably because I was circumspect. Never had big pictures of the gurus in the house, or played the chants for visitors. When my sister expressed religious confusion I sent her a paperback AY, and when she never mentioned it again, neither did I. Besides, she witnessed some of my youthful madness, so this is tame by comparison. Here's some of what the "Final Phase" means to me. Coming to the Walrus, discovering that a number of long term perceptions I'd been increasingly unable to stuff were shared by a number of thoughtful and sincere people was a revelation. The initial conclusion was obvious: Master good, organization bad. But lifting the lid on questions has it's own dynamic. I set about trying to find "core" or basic texts or writings that had not been too over-edited, and where the "true" Yogananda might be found. It now seems very simplistic to have assumed that there was some single "true" Yogananda available. The writings, and their negative effects have been written about at length on the Walrus, and it was only a matter of time before the question came up, of whether all that shoulding and esteem-busting content was entirely the work of editors who had gone to the dark side, or if indeed it was really based on the teachings of PY. The answer to me was coming upon this single smoking gun passage, which I've quoted before but I think is worth quoting again: *Quote:* There is only one guru uniquely the devotee's own. But if you turn away from the emissary of God, He silently asks: 'What is wrong with you, that you foolishly leave the one I have sent to help you learn the divine science of the soul? Now you shall have to wait long, and prove yourself, before I shall respond again.' He who cannot learn through the wisdom and love of his God-ordained guru will not find God in this life. Several incarnations at least must pass before he will have another such opportunity." - P. Yogananda, From a talk at MC, 8/17/39, reproduced in "Take God With You Through Life" in The Divine Romance. It was clear, especially in some of the messages during the recent "troubles" on the Walrus, that there is a context to this. The talk was given within a few months of the lawsuit and bad publicity that accompanied the break with Sri Nerode. It was also apparently given to monastics at MC, rather than to the lay public. We know from Kriyananda that at that time there were seperate initiations for Kriya and discipleship (the two were not melded until 1960). We know that it's the organization that has lifted such statements out of context, and generalized them to try to discourage the membership from leaving the one true church. For all of that, there is now a big wedge of distrust in my relationship to Yogananda, one which had been a central focus for over 20 years. For all the excuses I make for that passage, what a distasteful image of God emerges. When I read the intros to the red Whispers - "original" writings if any are - I see the harangues "You have run away from him..." How refreshing it is to read Buddhism, where the assumption of basic goodness is central. How refreshing to read Christianity, even some evangelicals, where acceptance "as we are" is central. So the organization of SRF is way downstream for me at this time, but what is the unresolved "Final Phase," is coming to some kind of peace in relation to the founder. Is he my guru? At the moment I tend to think not. But it is important to me to redisciover a lasting sense of friendliness, based on respect and gratitude for all the benefits I have had, and at the moment, I'm not quite able to do that, based on a sense of having been burned - and not just by followers from th dark side. Edited by: ranger20 at: 3/8/04 11:17 am
needthestar Registered User (3/8/04 3:05 pm) Reply	Re: The Final Phase: Denial to Embarrassment Personally I've only revealed my cards once and it didn't work out so well. As advanced and open-minded we think we are, most Americans still laugh and sneer at the idea of an Indian bringing anything relevant to the table, especially on the topic of Religion. As Ranger, I too have lost hope of Yogananda being my guru. The child like enthusiasm is gone and I am now stumbling through a very gray, foggy world. I'm not sure if I should thank Walrus or wish a severe virus on it's brow, because here is where my world was shattered. I've grown tired of the concept of the guru. Along with organized religion the guru example has been a wrecking ball on my teetering hope of ever finding God. It's left me searching in a hall full of distorted mirrors. Which is the real reflection? Do I only get one chance to find it? It seems hopeless. On the other side of the coin there are the Ken Wilburs who smugly peer out there wire rim glasses...or the "power of now" people who dare us to "just be", as if it were as simple as combing our hair. Their lack of sympathy deeply annoys me, much like those in this country who say to the homeless "get a job". If it were really that easy then we all would be doing it. Let's also not forget the folks that ingest some form of drug and fall into an ecstatic state, or those that are simply struck out of the blue with "enlightenment". This is the cruelest of all jokes the Spirit plays; like a random lottery handed out willy nilly to some unsuspecting passerby. To say I'm bitter is an understatement. I would even go as far as to admit that I'm depressed. I'd hung a lot of hope on this path (SRF), then I had hope of finding some other route but now it ALL seems so empty and hollow. Everywhere I look, every book I read seems like a lie and nothing seems real other than the pain I feel along with the strong desire I have to call some place home. So maybe if I give it all up and soak myself in this oblivious world, maybe if I let go of the tether and float down life's rapids, maybe if I surrender to the insanity of the daily "run of the bulls" that is considered American culture, then will Spirit someday tap me on the head with it's magic wand and wake me up? Should I give up looking and go back to sleep? That might be easier....but letting go of that original HOPE I once felt is the hardest part of all. Edited by: needthestar at: 3/8/04 3:09 pm
redpurusha Registered User (3/9/04 8:34 am) Reply	Re: The Final Phase: Denial to Embarrassment needthestar, Sounds like you need a cold beer. Within these books (Man's Eternal Quest, Divine Romance, and Journey to Self-Realization) volumes of PY's talks have been written. IMO they speak volumes. But to take one single quote and focus all your attention on that is a mistake. You have to look a the whole spectrum of the teachings. Yogananda states (and I could quote but I don't have the books in front of me), that you cannot depend on happiness from anything outside of your Self and God, this includes even close family members, friends, and of course money, sex, fame and drugs -anything. By this logic, depending on any organization (like SRF or any church) to fulfill that void only divine consciousness can fill will also lead to disappointment and even depression. Besides, religious societies and techniques are only tools or instruments to be used to help find God, so we should not make the mistake of mistaking the tools for the goal (see Autobiography). Now, you state that you have lost hope in Yogananda being your guru. >As Ranger, I too have lost hope of Yogananda being my guru. ... Should I give up looking and go back to sleep? That might be easier....but letting go of that original HOPE I once felt is the hardest part of all. I am not in position to say who is your guru or which one is best for you, but I would just like to say that just because you lost hope in SRF or even Yogananda, don't lose hope in the great goal of life -Self-discovery. "Seek first God's kingdom (Self-realization), and all these things will be added unto you." Now if you lost your inspiration to seek God than that is far worse than losing hope in SRF or Yogananda. The particular quote about not turning away a God-ordained guru, etc. has to be looked at in context, and that is, as has been presented somewhere else here on the Walrus, that he was addressing a certain group of individual (s) or those with him and close to him at the time. The word "guru" has numerous meanings and connotations. Although PY's quote speaks of only one God-ordained guru, SRF has 6 gurus on the alter (referrred to as paramgurus or some name like this). The literal meaning of guru (see AOY) is "dispeller of darkness." So, an enlightening book, like the Autobiography, can be someone's dispeller of darkness, teacher, or "guru" at least on some level. From what I know Yogananda is a "world Guru" (see God Talks With Arjuna). It is my speculation that getting the teachings through such a "world or universal guru" is not the same as getting it from him directly in physical form. But there are people who claim that they have recieved initiation from Yogananda in visions, or that he has come to them in either astral or physical form. So my guess is that this is more of a personal matter. George Burke (author or Eagles's Flight) found the teachings after his exit form the body, claims to have been visited by Yogananda in visions, and has learned a great deal from him, yet also he went to India to become a Swami, became a devotee of some Indian Saint or a female guru, then finally embraced Jesus Christ and christianity in its most primitive (orthodox) form. What are we to make of all this? I believe the answer is that God is the Ultimate Guru and that he comes to us in different forms, at different times, in relation to our individual progress and needs. Hope this helps. Cheers!
SayItIsntSo Registered User (3/9/04 8:39 am) Reply	Re: The Final Phase: Denial to Embarrassment I've not been around for awhile. After having all my posts analyzed, re-quoted out of context and posted on another board, and the subsequent actions of Walrus to ban that person (then two more, though I hope not on account of me!), I felt like this was more a war zone than a support group. Then, someone from here started sending me Jesus messages... Sheesh. I was in SRF 30 years (as you know). I had the trappings all over my house, including a meditation room. There isn't a picture I've taken in my house over the past 30 years that doesn't have a pic of SRF in the background. So, I can't erase my history. When my family and friends ask, I just tell them "it stopped working for me." Everyone was very surprised but no one has judged me or said anything (to my face). It was a lot harder explaining having an Indian guru in the 70's than it is now! HA HA. It's been almost four years so I'm more accepting of SRF, PY and myself. I tried to explain my experiences here but the people reading my posts seemed to think I was going through them "now," not that I was giving a perspective. So, I gave up... Mainly, I'm wondering why some of you who were not into SRF for very long (less than five years and not living within temple areas) have been so wounded. Edited by: SayItIsntSo at: 3/9/04 8:40 am
seekerseeking New User (3/9/04 10:55 am) Reply	Re: The Final Phase: Denial to Embarrassment *Quote:* So what do we do next? I've been in this final phase for some time now and pondering this question (what do I do next? where do I go from here?) on a daily basis. After 10 years of association with SRF, I had been through all the phases - the initial enchantment, feeling like I was walking on air, being part of "the best religion", getting "the airplane route to God", etc. Moving to LA to be closer to the temples and MW kind of ruined it for me. I was shocked to find out, much to my dismay, that I didn't really fit in. I was much too independent thinking. I actually spent most of my time at the Bodhi Tree bookstore browsing and buying books from a lot of other gurus, and visiting other Eastern Religion places around LA like Vedanta, Hare Krishna, etc. Towards the end is when I really began to get that "Oh my God, I'm in a cult!" feeling in the pit of my stomach. That would not have even occurred to me in the first few years. In the end I finally picked up and moved back home clear across the country, and that has helped the most. SRF looks so different from afar! That's why the foreign devotees are the most gung ho and the hardest to convince of what SRF is really like, because from a distance it all looks so peaceful and perfect. But after having been there and lived it myself I know better. I can only imagine what it must be like for monastics and employees, they really saw SRF from the inside. To me the hardest part right now is deciding if Yogananda is still my guru. I know one can have many gurus, as he himself had, and I feel a lot of love for Ramakrishna, and Vivekananda, and have benefited from the teachings of Ramana Maharshi and Sri Aurobindo, and Jesus and Budha. I just don't know if Yogananda will always be the one. I never threw out my guru pictures or SRF books, in fact they're still sitting on my bookshelf, alongside all the other ones from Vedanta and Sri Aurobindo and all the other religious books both East and West. In a sense I never left SRF because I was never in SRF, just more like a student. And I learned a lot of useful stuff. The real final stage for me is that I am still on the path, one never really gets off it. You take whatever good you can and you move on. Kind of like going from one grade to the next in school. You don't have to unlearn everything they taught you in one grade, or disassociate yourself from your previous teachers and schools, you just move on to the next, building on what you learned before. In the end, life here on this earth is still a struggle, there's countless perils at every turn, and the matter of one's own liberation is still something that has to be faced daily and worked out. I know I face it every day when I get in my car and join the morning rush hour to commute to work. There's always some crazy driver on the road who cuts me off or makes me have to take evasive action because they're too busy talking on the phone with one hand, applying makeup with the other, and eating breakfast all at once, and it reminds me this is still a dangerous world and anything can happen at any time and that I still need God and I will never really be safe until I am liberated with him. Just turning on the evening news or picking up a newspaper should be all the reminder one needs that your world can come crashing down on you in a second. So in the end, the work is never done, there still remains much work still to do, and the one thing I know is that now more than ever I need to cling tightly to God and not let go. God, God, God. Edited by: seekerseeking at: 3/9/04 10:57 am
needthestar Registered User (3/9/04 10:59 am) Reply	Re: The Final Phase: Denial to Embarrassment Redpurusha, I agree with the thrust of your post which is more or less "don't throw the baby out with the bath water". However, if in fact Yogananda was using the above quote as some sort of strong armed leverage to frighten disciples from leaving, then yeah, I've got a big problem with it. This is the "straw that broke the camels back" so to speak...at least of me. But it doesn't just stop there...it erodes all factions that require a leap of faith. If I plan to cross a stream by stepping on exposed stones and one of those stones moves, causing me to fall into the water, then I'd be very leery of stepping on the next. This all may be a very simplistic approach to some, but I've never fully recovered from that initial let down. Now everything else is suspect. Maybe I am too harsh. I did learn a great deal from Yogananda but for right now none of this seems trustworthy or makes any sense to me. Thanks for your input. "Mainly, I'm wondering why some of you who were not into SRF for very long (less than five years and not living within temple areas) have been so wounded. " Personally I don't think length of time or location has anything to do with it. Whether 5 years or 50 it boils down to the heart. I've known people who have been involved in religious organizations their entire life, but their church is nothing more than a place to get free donuts and share gossip. On the other hand I've met new comers that were absolutely on fire for God, so amount of time spent within an organization means nothing in the end. That, I am afraid, is a relic of SRF ideology.
ugizralrite (3/9/04 12:48 pm) Reply	re" needthestar I am so happy to see many people posting again. Hooray!! Needthestar, your name says it all. I am nearly sixty years old and have spent my entire adult life in the chase for spirit. I have worn myself out physically and mentally with study and questing and working against the stream of the dominant culture, but I have found what I was seeking in time. I used to want to protect my time on earth lest my quest be interrupted by the many dangers of living. This required a lot of care and effort to protect my sadhana. Now for me the battle is won, the quest is over. I no longer fear dying before my spiritual work was done. My many posts here are a now or never thing. Had I not shared my quest, I would not have completed my quest. By doing this the chance of regret has been taken care of. If you are prepared to unreservedly dedicate your life to finding the answers, then how can you fail? "God yes?" or "God no?" That is the whole story.
SayItIsntSo Registered User (3/16/04 12:42 pm) Reply	Re: The Final Phase: Denial to Embarrassment Needstar, I'm glad to see you are a psychologist as well! And, ahem, what's wrong with donuts? SRF also has donuts and gossip, same as other places. I only asked a question. It seems to me that something else might be going on in a person's life to get all worked up about a teaching they were never that involved with...especially those who weren't Kriyabans. It boils down to the MIND. The teachings of SRF are such to control the willy-nilly mind, not the willy-nilly heart. ;-) SMILE. I find after my rants and raves here (there and everywhere--which for a 30 year member was strangely liberating) that I'm growing fonder of my old memories of SRF and Paramahansa Yogananda. Like a willful child who rebelled, then realized some of what ma and pa said were right. I'm allowing myself to feel hopeful. Edited by: SayItIsntSo at: 3/16/04 12:44 pm
needthestar Registered User (3/16/04 2:33 pm) Reply	Re: The Final Phase: Denial to Embarrassment "I'm growing fonder of my old memories of SRF and Paramahansa Yogananda" "I'm allowing myself to feel hopeful." Good for you. I mean that in the sincerest way. So being a Kriyaban makes one closer to Yogananda...therefore being more upset by the loss I take it. You're right I'm not near a temple, I have spent less than 8 years around SRF and I am not a Kriyaban so I should move on and quit bleating. I've wasted more relevant posters time by relaying my thoughts. I'm sorry - I shouldn't have posted here... Please forgive me. Edited by: needthestar at: 3/16/04 2:33 pm
ranger20 (3/16/04 2:38 pm) Reply	Re: The Final Phase: Denial to Embarrassment *Quote:* I find after my rants and raves here (there and everywhere--which for a 30 year member was strangely liberating) that I'm growing fonder of my old memories of SRF and Paramahansa Yogananda. Like a willful child who rebelled, then realized some of what ma and pa said were right. I'm allowing myself to feel hopeful. My initial post on this thread, a week and a half ago, was the result of a lot of long pondering of this stuff. Somehow writing it down must have crystalized something. I had said that in seperating from SRF, I had a longing to keep a feeling of friendship with Paramahansa Yogananda, but I didn't believe that would be possible. Wrong. I had one of the most powerful dreams of my life that very much set me at ease on that whole score. I still cannot, or perhaps don't want to formulate a lot of words about it, but I can say I am convinced that the kind of sincere, conscience driven searching that people discuss here -- even if it takes us to other churches or other gurus -- will not tarnish the friendship of Paramahansa Yogananda. I suppose if someone dropped kriya to take up a career in bank robbing, there might be a few incarnations involved, but short of that, the fear stuff is bunk.
jyotirmoy Registered User (3/29/04 12:56 pm) Reply	Re: The Final Phase: Denial to Embarrassment Maybe because I was with SRF in the old days of the fifties, that it was easier for me to get over the embarrassment -- I was young, and grew into something else. But then I found people in my new spiritual home (Catholic Church, Benedictine hermitage) with Yogananda's image on their wall, or the AY on their shelf. So I decided I was not supposed to entirely forget him. My feeling now is that he is a brother monk and a fellow seeker. I do not presume to know more about God than he did, or less, because I have no window into his or any other person's soul. I believe that God can speak and has spoken to me through souls who maybe knew less than I do, but who knew something I didn't. So God gives us many gurus, if we are willing to listen. Yogananda transmitted Kriya Yoga, whose sources are ancient and deep -- also tantric, which he did not say (or did he?). So I am grateful, because I still practice and find something beautiful in it. Yogananda was a seeker. Maybe it would be good for us all to see his life's parabola as an exemplary search, rather than as perfection from the start. I do hope he grew out of that idea of God "refusing to listen" to those who dropped off the path. A bad idea, which reminds me too much of what many old-school Catholic moralists used to say about people who commit mortal sin -- and they didn't even offer the sop of reincarnation, but only the last-chance hope of deathbed penitence. Edited by: jyotirmoy at: 4/3/04 10:46 am
didgeridootoo (3/30/04 7:22 pm) Reply	Re: The Final Phase: Denial to Embarrassment The Final Phase: Well, I went through my upsets with SRF, then withYogananda, and now it doesn't seem to matter much to me anymore. I got rid of anything that I had of SRF. The other day a friend mailed me back a book written by a devotee of his, and when I saw the book an icky feeling went through me, and I realized that it is not quite over with yet. "Icky" is the only way I can explain the feeling. I put the book on my bookshelf for now, but I will sell it for a couple of dollars. I have no desire to even walk inside another SRF temple, and the few times I had, I didn't stay long. If I run into people I know from SRF, I say hi, but they learned long ago that I left. I will never join another organization again, and now my religious reading material is eclectic, except that I can't read anything of Yogananda's now without becoming upset. I told my family that I had left, but no one seemed interested to know this one way or another, which can be considered a relief. I am sure they felt it was a cult anyway, and they have always considered my choice of religion weird anyway, that is, if you are not a real traditional Christian then something is wrong--you are wierd. I still practice a mantra meditation, but nothing of his teachings. I realized that I was more physically fit when doing the energyzing exercises, but I want nothing to do with them, with the reminders, and so I think of taking up hatha yoga. I can say that I am much happier now than I ever was in SRF. It wasn't easy reaching this state, because I stayed upset over SRF for a number of years, but it feels good now. I remember once feeling stupid for being fooled by SRF, and I wondered how it could have happened since I felt I was being very careful and had asked a lot of questions. Now I just believe it was something that I needed to experience in order to grow spiritually. Sometimes, when you leave an organization, I am told, you grow more on the spiritual path than you did by staying in the organization. I can agree with that, but still, spiritual growth for me seems too slow in coming.
apsarasRLD Registered User (3/31/04 5:12 am) Reply	Re: The Final Phase: Denial to Embarrassment It seems to simply be a matter of seperating the sugar from the sand. I never tried to convert people to the SRF teachings so that didn't change either. I never bought into the popular concept that being a part of SRF makes you more advanced or spiritual than the average person, but I've seen up close the pride and arrogance that that attitude can foster. It's the fundamental SRF nuts that will have the hardest time when they have to swallow that pride, and I hope they'll find happiness in the born-again christian church, where they belong. The rest of us gladly continue our sadhana no matter what.
didgeridootoo (3/31/04 7:17 am) Reply	Re: The Final Phase: Denial to Embarrassment apsaras, I don't wish fundamental Christianity or fundamental anything on anyone. I would rather that they just grew from their experiences after they have gathered up the pieces. I have this vision of Humpty Dumpty sitting on the wall, and no one being able to put him back together again, but in this case, I hope they can put themselves together again and move forward in their spiritual life after their fall.
apsarasRLD Registered User (3/31/04 11:04 am) Reply	Re: The Final Phase: Denial to Embarrassment Actually I'm not that disillusioned in SRF. It's part of this world and therefore flawed, so what. The teachings which is the core of SRF are very good and I've not experienced a falling out of faith, it was rather like taking off a too warm overcoat when the springtime begins. The bureaucratic part of SRF is what I don't put a lot of faith in, but that's not an integral part of one's sadhana. Edited by: apsarasRLD at: 3/31/04 11:06 am
didgeridootoo (3/31/04 11:38 am) Reply	Re: The Final Phase: Denial to Embarrassment It is true that "It's part of this world and therefore flawed." The "so what" is what gets to me. I want honesty when I ask questions from those in charge of an organization. The list is too long for me to even begin verbalizing my complaints of SRF, but they are all over this board written by many other devotees. I believe it has been said before by others, but I prefer having people in my life who led exemplary lifes, ones that I can try to follow. If the organization that I am affiliated with is doing things that I consider wrong, then I don't wish to be a part of it, because that makes me part of the problem. If a guru is the doing same, then I would find one that is honorable. SRF has said over and over again to just meditate and forget everything else. Sorry, I can't do that. While I don't like to engage in politics, SRF's politics are out there for all to see, and so I could not get around it. I just call it having my own intregrity, but if others are able to attend meetings in spite of all this, then who am I to judge. We are all on our on path to God, and so for those who know and stay in SRF, it is fine because that is where they need to be to learn their spiritual lessons. And I don't call that an unhealthy attitude, or even wrong, just that it isn't for me.
ranger20 (3/31/04 12:15 pm) Reply	Re: The Final Phase: Denial to Embarrassment Some things are more flawed than others! I've spent a lot of time wondering when and how the organization turned toward the dark side. After all, I don't that any of the senior people read the AY and wondered "Wow, what a wonderful teaching! I bet I can subvert it in my very lifetime." My personal hunch (and it is only that) is that the flaw was deciding that "the Work" involved creating "the Religion for the coming age." Raja yoga is not a religion. In fact, that was one of the initial draws for me. Reading about Lahiri giving Kriya and encouraging people to continue in their own faiths was profoundly exciting. So was the esoteric material that seemed to validate the miracle stories of many religions. I've seen transcripts here of the full Lake Shrine dedication talk which indicates that as late as 1951, Yogananda had "no interest" in starting a "new religion." But at some point some of the followers did. And at that point the Founder had to be perfect. The president had to be perfect. The teachings had to be The Best. And we throw in threats for any who dare to stray from The Path... Well down the slippery slope, it's sad to think that with a slight shift of emphasis, much more good could have come. Instead of packaging itself as a grand Product, what if SRF taken the humbler role of simply making the Process available to "truth seeking souls everywhere? But, it is what it is. And to quote another Zen teacher I've been reading lately, Cheri Huber, "there is no alternate universe where things are unfolding the way you think they ought to unfold."

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