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Deep
Unregistered User
(1/18/02 9:55 pm)
Reply 		Helping Ourselves - Seminars?
I know that many Los Angeles SRF employees are attending some form of self-help seminars to attempt to cope with their treatment by SRF (as well as to help themselves grow and learn and become better people). Can anyone who knows post a message about the name of the place or a website? Can you share some thoughts about how much it helps and what things it helps with?

webuser
Registered User
(1/19/02 7:42 am)
Reply 		Re: Helping Ourselves - Seminars?
There are a number of organizations and people who have been a resource to SRF members. A psychologist in Pasadena named Judy Jolly has been/is working with many of us. I know several people who have recently been involved with The Source Seminar. The University of Santa Monica has 2 programs (Awakening Heart Series and the Spiritual Psychology program) which have been helpful.

What these resources help with of course depends what the people are suffering. I've learned a lot about forgiveness, personal responsibility, positive choices, creativity, risk-taking, etc. etc.

I'll take a risk here and talk about forgiveness.

After a tough period of several years for me in SRF I realized that I was deeply hurt, frustrated, and angry. I temporarily forgot what I already knew about the SRF culture and made the "mistake" of voicing my thoughts. This didn't help me at all, nor did I see any effect on the organization. Mostly they didn't respond.

For awhile I lived in a sort of emotional turmoil, eased significantly by conversations with friends who were experiencing similar feelings and confusions. Several of these friends encouraged me to go to the University of Santa Monica's Awakening Heart seminar, which I did.

When I attended the seminar I was struck by several things immediately that I did not often see in SRF. One was the very participatory nature of events there. The facilitators welcomed comments, questions, statements, and even direct challenges from the participants. The facilitators would then openly dialog with the person about whatever issue was raised. I loved it. But the most impressive thing was that almost everyone who stood up to speak ended up sitting down very satisfied, sometimes visibly moved, and sometimes very positively charged.

The key to all these interactions was in the agreements the participants made in signing up. In my own paraphrasing I'd say the root of the agreements is that the participant agrees to try to change herself/himself in a positive way.

So, getting back to forgiveness. Realizing that I was angry, and that I was consistently carrying around some of this anger, became a source of concern for me. But I didn't really want to forgive SRF, because I felt that I was right and they (certain monastics and others) were wrong. I felt that forgiving them would get them off the hook. Basically, I was holding on to my anger so that I might someday find the way to express it in a way that would help me -- whatever that meant.

Then at one of the seminars the facilitator said, "resentment is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die." That statement clarified things for me. I wanted to be a happy, creative, enthusiastic, loving, healthy person, but I wasn't. In carrying around my resentment towards SRF I was poisioning myself, depleting my energy and enthusiasm.

This was one of the things that the seminar helped me with the most. To see that forgiveness is really a personal issue. It isn't so much about the other person. It is about releasing the judgements we hold which give rise to unhealthy emotions. It boils down to forgiving ourselves for making judgements. As others have pointed out on this board -- it is about getting rid of "shoulds".

And just to be clear -- the seminars I attended were not in any way tailored for SRF members specifically. There were just a few SRF members in the group.

I would also say that the seminars can be very helpful -- but are just one vehicle for this type of change. There many great books, tapes, and counselors who can help with spiritual disillusionment, anger, frustration, etc. etc. I'm also very big on friendship and mutual support.

Edited by: webuser at: 1/19/02 9:03:15 am
KS
Registered User
(1/19/02 8:51 am)
Reply 		How
How are these seminars helpful? Are they helping people to ignore the problems, helping them to find the courage to face the reality of what they see, helping them to recover from the shock, helping them to build back some self esteem, helping them to love and trust again, ................ what?

jaded
Unregistered User
(1/19/02 10:29 am)
Reply 		Re: How
I think I know what KS is getting at, because I have some of the same concerns. I certainly agree with the need to stop poisoning oneself with resentment and rage and running through events repeatedly, and so on. My concern is that we lose any ability or desire to confront the evil, because I think it is evil. While we are comfortably letting go of our bad feelings and feeling free and moving on with life, the selfish and corrupt people at the center of SRF continue in their ways. I think it's crazy NOT to feel angry and betrayed. The need is to keep from being personally destroyed by it, but not to blow it off just so we can feel good.

Of course I don't know anything about any of these people and programs. I'm only speculating based on what I do know about people I know and how they "deal" with what they see and experience.

Web Site Surfer
Unregistered User
(1/19/02 10:43 am)
Reply 		Professional help for recovering SRF'ers
I can't speak for the programs at Santa Monica U. I have not participated. But I can say that the seminars, and I imagine the private work, conducted by Judy Jolly and company deal very realistically with emotions. The urge to change what one feels is evil is honored. Her number is elsewhere on this board but here it is again: 626 792 7317.

yogigirl
Registered User
(1/20/02 9:11 am)
Reply 		Re: Professional help for recovering SRF'ers
Here is the website for the USM seminars:
www.insight-seminars.org/...erview.htm

Here is the USM webite:
www.gousm.edu

The seminars are an extension of USM. They are about a week long and very helpful! I've been to them and so have many of my friends. USM offers degrees in Spiritual Psychology. I also have friends doing that and they tell me its one of the best things they've ever done.

For people living in Southern California, they offer free introductory evening seminars that are very similar to the weeklong seminars. They are worth attending.

Thanks for you post webuser!

Anonymous
Unregistered User
(1/20/02 11:03 am)
Reply 		USM and John Roger
Someone said that USM was founded by John Roger and is run by his students? From my reading of John Roger and from the behavior of some of his advocates, I always thought he was best avoided. He seemed like a cult leader/change-your thinking kind of person and his devotees were giving him lots of money for this.

Does anyone know about the people running USM and about how John Roger fits in? I guess I get suspicious when too many SRF people get so positive so fast about something. I worry that they are trading one cult for another.

jaded
Unregistered User
(1/20/02 5:08 pm)
Reply 		That's it
Great post, you've put your finger on it. I've almost always found that something all the SRF people like is weird. I guess I should have taken the next logical step and realized that SRF itself is weird, but that took many years.

KS
Registered User
(1/20/02 9:45 pm)
Reply 		Unfair
It is unfair to think that attendance at USM by SRF people is widespread and therefore weird. For one thing, maybe 30 local people are involved in it out of 1000 local devotees? And those I have talked to about it see it as positive because it is giving them someone the SRF talks do not.

In Recovery
Unregistered User
(1/21/02 12:25 am)
Reply 		Judy Jolly
I wholly endorse seeing Judy Jolly. She is very aware of the issues we face, and I have personally found her help invaluable.

Sorry, don't know anything about USM.

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