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SRF Walrus > What can we do to help SRF? > Help ourselves by starting meditation groups
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kokio Registered User (3/31/02 8:31 am) Reply	Help ourselves by starting meditation groups I have had trouble with the SRF become-a-sheep mentality for a long time. I am a devotee of Yoganandaji and would like to gather with others in meditation and fellowship, in a setting where I feel I am of value, and where I can solidly contribute. Such has not been the case at Lake Shrine. As an example, the latest seminar for volunteers is on communication. It is called, "How to Listen." I think that says it all. I can attend, volunteer, have no monastic ever call me by name in 6 years, because they do not know it, and ultimately have no more network of caring spiritual friends, than I did, when I first started going. How are we supposed to network? About the only option is during the monthly days of service. Where I did experience fellowship, was in Ananda, but found that after a few years, I really saw how much of a cult it was. (If folks want to know more, it says it all at: www.anandaawareness.com). After I left Ananda, a friend and I started our own meditation group and it was wonderful. We met every 2 weeks and others would join us when they could. I would again like to be part of an independent Yogananda meditation group, based in the LA area, either in the San Fernando Valley, or the West Side. This would be my way of staying positive, and getting on with my sadhana. I feel I have focused on SRF and its problems too long. I anyone else is interested in being a part of a meditation group, they can write me at: leaftemple@yahoo.com. Thanks, and Happy Easter
X Insider Registered User (3/31/02 9:45 am) Reply	Re: Help ourselves by starting meditation groups I had to laugh hard at your description of serving at the Lake Shrine. Very good description. It really reflected my own experience at the temples. I hope you find people to meditate with. Personally, after seeing SRF a little too up-close for my comfort, I cannot participate in any kind of Yogananda based group. I think they call it "cognitive dissonance". Unfortunately, like it or not, I associate Master's picture and words with some abusive experiences that I went through myself and watched others go through. Hopefully this will change someday. If not, that' OK, too. God is good and I now have the opportunity to just be myself with Him/Her/Whatever. It feels nice. Best of luck to you.
chuckle chela Registered User (4/7/02 9:09 pm) Reply	Reply to X Insider X Insider, you wrote: "Unfortunately, like it or not, I associate Master's picture and words with some abusive experiences that I went through myself and watched others go through." Wow, that's a powerful statement. Every once in a while I'll read a message on this board that really gets to me. That was one of them. May I ask what your experiences were like in the ashram? From what I can gather, the nuns' side sounds as if it might have been worse-possibly far worse-than the monks' side, and that was bad enough from what we've read. But we haven't heard much about the nuns' experiences; obviously, from what you wrote above, it must have been pretty painful. I realize you may well not wish to say anything, given that your experiences were so bad, and I'm not trying to pry into your personal experiences. One of the things that gets to me is the contrast. I just had a dear friend return from a first visit to the Encinitas retreat. He's been on the path for many years, but had never been to Encinitas. His comment: "Never have I been in a place where I've felt so loved. It was just the most beautiful love." I knew what he was talking about. And then I contrast that with what you guys went through at Mt. Washington and I give my head a shake. I know that there are very sensible reasons for the vast differences, one of them being that the retreat is a far different atmosphere than the working environment of the ashram, but still, the differences are, for want of a better word, extreme. Thanks in advance for your time and input. I very much liked the way you ended your message: "God is good and I now have the opportunity to just be myself with Him/Her/Whatever. It feels nice." I'm glad things are working out for you!
X Insider Registered User (4/8/02 6:23 am) Reply	Re: Reply to Chuckle Chela Yes, the nuns' life is very different from that of the monks. Just ask any monk and if he has the nerve (this would have negative consequences) he will tell you. I understand your wish to know more. Sometimes I like to discuss it and sometimes I have to just back away for awhile to deal with the anger and pain. I don't see villains in this situation, only those who have also been abused and must remain in denial for their own survival. It gets handed down from generation to generation, as it does in any family. There are quite a number of good entries in the earlier days of this board. It is a lot to wade through and sort out, but there is truth in there. If I had the nerve, I would just ask you to call me. But I don't know who you are. And vice versa. Have you heard of the book "Cults in Our Midst?" It discusses general principles of brainwashing, the adjustments in recovery, etc. It is not pleasant to think of Master's ashram as being a cult, I know. And it was no doubt never intended to become one. But I have had to face facts in order to reunite with my own God given discrimination.
username Registered User (4/8/02 7:15 am) Reply	Re: Encinitas retreat I seen things at retreat that showed a glimpse of how bad the life must be for monastics. Next time you go, pay attention to how the monastics are interacting with each other. Are the monastics giving comfort to any person on retreat who is upset for some reason, or are they ignoring that person, or do they show concern about that person to others, or does it appear that they are putting that person down/ Are the monastics able to give reasonable, "how to live" answers to questions asked? or does it feel that they are living in some other dimension of time?
chuckle chela Registered User (4/8/02 11:23 pm) Reply	Thanks, X Insider Thanks for your reply, X Insider. I understand and honor your reluctance to say much, and I can appreciate how terribly painful this has been for so many. I really appreciated your remark about the lack of villains. I agree (insofar as an outsider like myself can have a valid opinion), and I think that while the anger and calling the leaders "Bad ladies," and so on are perfectly understandable, in the long run such viewpoints don't offer much for anybody in promoting any personal or organizational healing. The SRF leaders are likely just as much victims as anyone else, and, as you alluded, the abuse gets passed on from leaders to the other monastics. It's classic abuse etiology, and the abuse stems from ignorance--the fact that the abusers don't know any other form of behavior and aren't even aware of how abusively they behave. Yes, it's probably best not to be in touch over the phone. All you ex-monastics are entitled to your privacy. Besides, I don't have any right or burning need to know all the details. And I have no desire to have someone like you endure the dredging up these awful memories if they are still painful to recall. Like you said, some details are scattered throughout the earlier messages on the boards. I've saved many of them and refer to them now and then. I don't want to ever forget that these serious problems have occurred, and I want to do everything I can to avoid being a part of any ongoing, similar problems if I am to remain in SRF, especially in any active role. Those older messages were helpful when I was writing my letter to Mother Center; they helped me focus and remember why I was writing my note of protest. Those messages are by turns painful to read, courageous, insightful, and inspiring. Haven't heard of the book you mention, but I'll check it out. It's funny, I always thought SRF was above the whole cult phenomena. I just didn't think we had the conditions necessary. How wrong I was! This serves as a useful warning that any organization can become a cult, and members need to be ever-vigilant. I confess I was intrigued by your statement: "Yes, the nuns' life is very different from that of the monks. Just ask any monk and if he has the nerve (this would have negative consequences) he will tell you." I presume you mean a publicly available monk, such as a minister. I'm not sure what you mean by his telling having negative consequences. Are some of the details about the nuns' ashram life supposed to remain a secret to us lay members, or are the differences between the monks' and nuns' ashram lives supposed to remain secret? And the monk would presumably get into trouble for spilling the beans and possibly allowing us to realize how different (how oppressed, perhaps?) the nuns' lives are. I'm not fishing for information, I'm just intrigued. First chance I get, I'm going to ask a monk (this won't occur anytime soon as I won't get to S. Cal. until Convo, if then). I'll ask every monk I see. I'm sure most of them would say that the nuns' lives are separate, and they can't comment. Maybe I'll try asking a few nuns, as well.
chuckle chela Registered User (4/8/02 11:29 pm) Reply	Re: Encinitas retreat Thanks for your response, username. I haven't stayed at the retreat for just over five years, so I can't comment on the current situation. Since the 70's, I've stayed there about half a dozen times. Overall, my experiences have been very positive there. The monastics were friendly, helpful. One person (not a monastic) in the front office in one instance could have been more genuinely friendly and a little less condescending, but that was no big deal. I can also recall two nuns having "words" with each other and a spark or two flew, but that was one isolated incident. I also saw one of those two nuns perform an incredibly generous act for a good friend who was in real need. The nun had been told nothing of my friend's desperate need, but was sensitive enough to see the suffering; she took matters into her own hands and got my friend the help she needed. That nun, who has a reputation as a bit of a taskmaster, has ever since had a special place in my heart. After reading your message, I phoned up my friend who was just at the retreat to ask if he had experienced any negativity at the retreat. He mentioned only one incident, again involving a nonmonastic individual in the front office. He did remark that though the incident was pretty minor, he was surprised by the lack of sensitivity shown by this person. Please understand I'm not trying to discount any experiences you may have had or know about. When I was on retreat, I wasn't expecting or looking for these negative kinds of behaviors. Your questions are good ones, and your point about the bad ashram conditions resulting in monastics who can't get along, understand and help others is an important one. Next time I go on retreat (if that ever happens), I'll pay attention.

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