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SRF Walrus

Mt. Washington, Ca

Open discussions about SRF

SRF Walrus > I need advice > Friends
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Author	Comment
Crog Unregistered User (9/30/01 1:40 pm) Reply	Friends Those of you who have been at this longer might be able to help me. I am disillusioned about SRF but now find I may be cut off from all my friends for the past 15 years. I can no longer pretend the core of SRF is wonderful, but dearly love Master. But being around the temples seem almost disrespectful of Master to me now. Am I to just give up all my long friendships? How are you able to still interact with SRF friends who "don't know" and keep the friendships active. SRF is so important to most of them. And so holy and wonderful while I see it as something that hurts and lies to people.
Shadowman Unregistered User (9/30/01 5:52 pm) Reply	Losing friends It depends what kind of people you want for friends. Do you want sheep or discerning human beings?
Shadowman Unregistered User (9/30/01 6:04 pm) Reply	Friends "I desire to so conduct the affairs of this administration that if at the end, when I come to lay down the reins of power, I have lost every other friend on earth, I shall at least have one friend left, and that friend shall be down inside of me." ~ Abraham Lincoln ~
Shadowman Unregistered User (9/30/01 6:08 pm) Reply	Friends "Real friends are those who, when you've made a fool of yourself, don't feel that you've done a permanent job." ~ Erwin T. Randall ~
KS Unregistered User (10/2/01 7:17 am) Reply	Damage I think friends are one of the casualties of this situation. But that is not the limit of the damage. Just a few immoral selfish fearful people can sure hurt a lot of people. I think it is going to get worse before it gets better. With the increase in people serving closer to the bad ladies the word is getting out. The bad ladies will react and make it worse for those around them. Some of the 50 or so monastics who have left in the last few years could probably have really helped SRF and many devotees. SRF could be making a real positive impact on the world. All the core is doing now is hurting the work and devotees who come to them.
xmonk Unregistered User (10/2/01 10:51 am) Reply	Friends When I left the ashram, I was devastated. I found that most of those who I considered close to me, both in and out of the ashram, stayed almost at arm's length from me. God, how that hurt. Then I remembered how I reacted when others left. I remembered that, whether in or out of the ashram, we had been brainwashed to believe that those leaving were essentially the enemy. We were taught to believe that the dark forces had taken over the minds of those who were leaving, and that they were turning their backs on the Guru. They were "unclean" and should be avoided. It would be futile for you to try changing their minds in connection with SRF. Like you, they will have to see it for themselves. That very thing will happen to most of them, as SRF continues to crumble, but you will have to be patient with them. In the meantime, cultivate other friendships with people not affiliated with SRF. You will be surprised at the many, many good and wonderful souls out there who are a joy to be near. You will find that they don't judge you, spy on you, lie to you, lie about you and will stand with you when down times come in your life. Coming off free from a cult is very difficult and demanding. You find yourself going through many emotions that will probably surprise you. But, in the end, you will experience a real freedom that you had probably long forgotten. It will be refreshing to, once again, think for yourself and make decisions based upon your own life, wants and needs. Please do not be discouraged because of your perception of losing friends. Your friendships were based upon your common beliefs. They will now feel just as uncomfortable around you as you feel around them. Having come off free from SRF will mean a whole new and wonderful existence for you. You will have to refrain from clinging to the past. Just try to understand how very fortunate you are to see the things that you do. God surely loves you tremendously to have given you this liberating insight. God bless you in your every effort.
Another Ex Unregistered User (10/4/01 11:05 am) Reply	Sharing with Friends? It has helped me to talk about this stuff only with those people who I know understand the situation and will not be blown out of the water by the slightest hint that there's something "rotten in Denmark" -- kind of like sharing an inside joke, if you will. It has been my experience that some friends, no matter how close or how long we've been friends, are not able to honor what we've been through. They haven't yet seen what we've seen. And since these are very deep wounds, it makes sense to bare them only with people who will affirm us and remind us that we are infinitely special and lovable and not in any way being disloyal. Baring these wounds to people who are not able to help or honor them doesn't help us or them. It will only add to the feeling of isolation, and it also confuses the hell out of them! At least this has been my experience. I've wanted always to be on the level with all my dear friends, but it seems that for now I can share my ashram experiences only with a handful of people. It feels kind of weird to talk with my other friends and not be able to candidly share my experiences, but I comfort myself with the thought that I know I will be able to honor what they will go through when their bubbles are burst (and that's an inevitable "when" and not "if"). I fully support creating awareness about what's going on in SRF, but we also need to treat ourselves with some TLC and not naively bare our wounds to those who will only recoil in horror, but rather to those who can help us heal and remind us that we're not crazy.
Web site surfer Unregistered User (10/4/01 5:33 pm) Reply	Reply to Another Ex You have expressed so well what you have been going through and I can relate. You can talk to me anytime and I will never even think the word disloyal!
Whispers Unregistered User (10/4/01 6:05 pm) Reply	Thanks Thanks for these discussions. Thanks for sharing.
PostMonk Unregistered User (10/4/01 9:35 pm) Reply	Disloyalty We must break the oppressive, gripping fear of being "disloyal". Disloyal to what? To abuse? To lies? To absolute indifference? To a system that slanders you the instant you ceased to be controled by it? "To thine own self be true and it shall follow, as the night the day, thou canst not be false to any man". Guruji taught us to be divine lions. Believe in yourself and in his direct assistance. Forget the self-appointed, self-righteous interpretors and spin-doctors that would bend us to their will. Take SRF's concept of "direct disciple" and burn it. We are all direct disciples --- every last one of us. And as for me, there will never again be anything between me and my God.
Shadowman Unregistered User (10/4/01 11:50 pm) Reply	Loyalty begins with self When you're down and confused about the loyalty issue, just remember the words of the Divine Mother.. "By being happy, my child, thou dos't please Me."
jlm Unregistered User (10/5/01 6:21 am) Reply	Loyalty begins with self I know exactly what you are saying about talking with others in an attempt to make sense of SRF. When I left, I was physically, emotionally and psychologically devastated that I needed to reach out. I turned to a SRF friend of over 12 years. I was not believed and further this friend went to a nun to discuss what I had said. You can imagine the story she heard about me. Our relationship will never be the same. The lonliness one feels after leaving is almost unbearable. Having been betrayed by SRF, I now felt betrayed by my friend as well. How I wish this website had been around then to help me in my transition. After leaving, I felt unable to make decisions and needed a long time to heal. The pain I felt by what had happened to me was indescribable. Who would have known that once on the inside you would be treated worse than the Taliban treats its women. I am healing. I know that I am loved by God no matter where I am as long as I am trying my best to be a loving human being. Since leaving the ashram setting, I am able to learn what love is again. Many years ago, I read the book "Illusions" by Richard Bach. At the beginning of the story, there is another story about a mechanic and his experiences. I would suggest that you read that story. I have been able to relate to it and know that God wants me to be happy and that is my goal.
BachFan Unregistered User (10/5/01 6:47 am) Reply	Illusions from Jonathan Livingston Seagull, also by Richard Bach: *Quote:* "...there is such a thing as perfection...and our purpose for living is to find that perfection and show it forth....Each of us is in truth an unlimited idea of freedom. Everything that limits us we have to put aside." Some quotes from Illusions: www.geocities.com/Heartla...rbach.html Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah Book Description from Amazon.com: *Quote:* In the cloud-washed airspace between the cornfields of Illinois and blue infinity, a man puts his faith in the propeller of his biplane. For disillusioned writer and itinerant barnstormer Richard Bach, belief is as real as a full tank of gas and sparks firing in the cylinders...until he meets Donald Shimoda--former mechanic and self-described messiah who can make wrenches fly and Richard's imagination soar.... In Illusions, the unforgettable follow-up to his phenomenal bestseller Jonathan Livingston Seagull, Richard Bach takes to the air to discover the ageless truths that give our souls wings: that people don't need airplanes to soar...that even the darkest clouds have meaning once we lift ourselves above them... and that messiahs can be found in the unlikeliest places--like hay fields, one-traffic-light midwestern towns, and most of all, deep within ourselves.
Another Ex Unregistered User (10/5/01 11:39 am) Reply	Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah I love that book! Especially the part when the reluctant messiah says: "I quit!" and then walks away from the religious circus that the people had built around him. I wonder if Master is beginning to feel the same way. What was that quote of Patanjali about one of the greatest pitfalls on the spiritual path being that devotees keep missing the point? I'm so sorry to hear the stories of being misunderstood by our long-time friends when told about the goings on in SRF. Absolutely heartbreaking! But there is still hope for our friends. Recently I heard about some of those disbelieving friends eventually having their own bubbles burst and deeply regretting how they shunned their buddies at a time when they most needed unconditional friendship.
Raja Begum Unregistered User (10/5/01 12:22 pm) Reply	Walking Away I found this on another thread. Fits in with the topic at hand. If I told you what it takes to reach the highest high You'd laugh and say "nothing's that simple" but you've been told many times before Messiahs pointed to the door And no one had the guts to leave the temple from "TOMMY" by The Who
xmonk Unregistered User (10/5/01 1:45 pm) Reply	Walking Away. As painful as it has been for us, in leaving the cult of SRF, the depression, the nights spent crying, the rejection by those whom we considered brothers and sisters, all of that has proven to be an eye opener. Had we not experienced such trauma, it is doubtful that the clearer picture could be seen. We have all been seduced by an organized religion. In our deep desire to find God, we were conned into thinking that there were "special" people who had an "in" with God and they would take us to Him. Of course, we were unsuitable and unworthy to approach Him. Therefore, we absolutely need someone to shepherd us into the fold. It's the same old story that has been in operation throughout the ages and every other religion has always spewn the same old story. If we believe that God, being our father/mother, loves us all equally, why do we continue to think that we need a go-between that will intercede for us with Him? Approach God on an individual basis. Have your relationship with Him as you desire. Talk to Him anytime or anywhere that you feel the need. Trying to straighten out SRF is akin to the silk purse, sow's ear thing. He loves you unconditionally. That means nothing can interfer with His acknowledgement of you. Don't you think that your freeing yourself from that hateful organization is a direct and individual gift from Him? Take that freedom and get as far from SRF, or any other religion, as possible and practice your individual love for God. See and feel the blessings that are forthcoming.
X Insider Unregistered User (10/5/01 7:31 pm) Reply	Leaving that old time religion behind Yes, we can now regain control of our own minds. Leave SRF to the devotees who require permission from Mother Center about who they are allowed to meditate with, what pictures to use, how to play the chants, how guilty to feel about missing a meditation, and which devotees to report to Mother Center for various crimes, such as being homosexual while representing an "official" SRF meditation group, etc. That will give the remaining monastics plenty to do. The smart ones are either doing very little at this point, making the most of the situation, or secretly making plans to split.
Realistananda Unregistered User (10/10/01 1:20 am) Reply	To X insider: Pragmatic to the extreme! Dear x insider In regard to your message "Leaving that old time religion behind." Why? Why not being pragmatic this time instead of being foolishly idealistic again? Does not SRF serves us all well at a pragmatic level? I have a place to go to a service on Sunday mornings, a beautiful place in Encinitas to go to a retreat for little money, a church to make friends, and to help and be helped in getting a job when necessary, and an organization to donate money and practice abundance consciousness when I want to. Why leaving? There is not a better church around! At the level of their boards all organizations suck anyway-- why worrying about power struggles and policies at that level? They are not my business-- nor probably yours. A church is something extremely practical too. It fulfills a social role which we all need tremendously. And in regard to finding God, SRF offers valuable information and techniques that we can use. But obviously we cannot limit ourselves to the paradigm (the recipe as Brother Anadamoy calls it) alone if we want to succeed. There is a pragmatic part here to be seriously considered before leaving SRF. Aren't we tired to be such idealists and to continue suffering for disregarding the practical side of life? Will we not consider practical aspects this time? Don't we realize that this world is way too imperfect and way too concrete and we need to develop pragmatism to be happy and find God too. Master said God is everything -- it is literally written dozens of times throughout the lessons! So, God is pragmatism too, not only idealism. Let us worship God in His disguise of pragamatism this time by being pragmatic to the extreme! Respectfully and pragmatically -- Realistananda
xmonk Unregistered User (10/10/01 5:57 am) Reply	Extreme It is obvious that you haven't experienced the SRF treatment. You cannot preach pragmatism to those of us who have faced the fire and have been very pragmatic in our decisions concerning this matter. Of course, I can't expect you to understand. You will do what you have to do. Until you walk a mile in another's shoes, you really can't see the picture, I guess. As Post Monk related earlier, when the truth of the matter is brought out to many devotees, it scares the hell out of them and they retreat into their shell.
Laser Unregistered User (10/10/01 6:05 am) Reply	Pragmatic??? Hey all, Realistananda has probably never worked with the bad ladies or been exposed to the abusive and disappointing behavior and attitudes of the Mridani/Mata/Jill/� type of people. One can never quite feel the same toward even a temple service after that. �Please hold what you wish to give to help the work of SRF in your right hand� just doesn�t bring up the same images it used to! I understand his point. The part of SRF outside of these bad ladies is fairly harmless, even fun at times. And there are many wonderful people there. But by being involved you are supporting their behavior.
Raja Begum Unregistered User (10/10/01 10:55 am) Reply	In reply to all above We have been told by our guru how an environment is influenced by the thoughts and vibrations of those who inhabit it. In any organization, the members are affected in visibly or subtly by each member and especially by those in leadership positions. The choices made by the ladies at Mt. Washington have a nebulous yet pervasive effect on the thoughts of each member. We know this is true. How, for example, has our country changed in tone with the succession of different presidents? Does our country feel the same under Bush's administration as it did with Clinton's? Undeniably, an SRF culture does exist, for all organizations and corporations have identifiable cultural signatures. The first indelible imprint, of course, is the one left by our guru. But every SRF leader past our guru is going to naturally pick up on particular threads of our guru's comprehensive message that appeals to him or her and emphasize those over others. Built into that assumption is the fact that some members will be left out due to that exclusion. Actually, that all depends on how tolerant a leader is of difference, and what we continually hear on this message board is that the Matas have a narrow sense of respectability (one of Sri Yukteswar's "8 meannesses of the heart"). Furthermore, we hear (and see through SRF tapes and lectures) how one-pointed, even stubborn, those Matas can be. We also know that the ministers are not free to talk about certain subjects, that everything is controlled by memos and departments, and that the smallest details are requested to be passed under the watchful eye of those in power (recall the posting about Ananda Mata delaying a print job over a tenth of an inch photograph border). If this is the way things are, how can it not but influence the thinking of each member? Then you have the members. These individuals have opened their hearts wide to the guru and the organization. Anything can be dumped into their poor hearts. Anything. They are not very discriminating about SRF's influence on them. They just assume whatever comes to them, however they are affected, whatever attitudes surface among the members are the correct ones to have, the ones Master willed for them. This is nonsense. People who abdicate their discriminative intelligence are not much different than chickens in a coop. All the great thinkers -- people who our guru would admire --- tell us that our God-given intelligence was meant to be utilized 24 hours a day. Democracy and all that is best in human culture require vigilance and care. They are not givens. They must be cultivated and cherished. What kind of message are we throwing back to the universe when we cease to examine the forces which influence our lives and, instead, let life "happen" to us? Innocent animals and helpless children do this, rational mature adults, never! All said, I can compartmentalize mind mind long enough to appreciate where Realistananda is coming from. I still like to sneak on the temple grounds when nobody is around and feel our guru's presence. The landscaping is pretty. It makes me happy to know some of my donations helped to preserve a place of beauty in my city. And I suppose, for people like Realistananda, the SRF community fulfills a basic human need for community. But discriminate individuals never choose their company indiscriminately. Perhaps Realistananda found a group of people he positively enjoys, and that has made his continuing attendance at the temples worthwhile. Me? I never hang with the SRF crowd. Personally, I find most of them boring, boring, boring. Sadly, many of them are intelligent people who have been shrunk by SRF's provinciality. The universal Yogananda has not manifested itself in the temples and lectures yet. I would attend more often if that message were to surface. But....because that ain't the case, I spends me time alone....realistically !!

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