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Thanks, Walrus, Chuckle, KS and others for providing such an important forum. Oh, what a tale I could tell. Believe me, you don't want to hear it, and I am not going to tell it. As an SRF member for 20 years and an employee for about 8, I am all too familiar with the territory here, and I would describe myself as a classic waste case. Well, maybe I'm rating myself a little too highly. A common waste case, it looks like, and the view is evidently only the tip of the iceberg. I just barely got out alive and I mean that literally.

Reading through so many of these entries is a bit what I imagine it would be like to review your own past lives--distant and close at the same time. Distant because I am now so totally out of the SRF scene, except for a few dear friends with whom I keep in touch, and close because I am truly surprised to discover how much of me there is to respond to all of this. I was so angry with SRF for a couple of years I couldn't even do Kriya because of the rage it put me into. I do it now with the mantra Amma has given me, thus embellishing the Kriyas, as Daya Mata would say, and adding my own little two cents worth. Well, whatever.

I am just so happy to have escaped the nightmare that my life was. Was it all a waste? I don't know. If I could have freed myself, I would have long before. You can't say they didn't tell us from the start that it was going to be a battle. Maybe the whole point of God realization is to break out of our dearest fetters. No doubt many will do so with Paramahansa. I'm with Amma, and I don't think that Paramahansa minds a bit.
Om Namah Sivayah,
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