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Over roughly a ten year period of direct involvement with SRF I had four personal interactions with Daya Mata, the third one via mail. They were characterized on her part by, consecutively: anger, indifference, dismissiveness and contempt. Any reasonable person might wonder how, given my reception by the president of the organization, I lasted as long as I did.

For those, of course, who have been so rarely blessed as to experience the unplumbed depths of devotion capable of a confirmed devotee, it is no mystery. The miracle is that I ever woke up. To say nothing of the irony of realizing that you actually dislike someone you had long been accustomed to viewing as on a par with the guru. Which would start to make sense if you were to finally admit to yourself that you didn't like the organization either. And a normal person wouldn't if he were miserable in it the whole time. The real trick is in accepting that it all comes from the guru. And then deciding that it doesn't.

From that point on, believe me, you're on one heck of a roll. The final revelation, the last parting of the veil is that SRF wants you to be absolutely miserable. And it succeeds. It's the whole point. How this ever came to be is an abiding mystery, but what is as clear as the faraway look in Daya Mata's eye is that this policy comes straight from the top down. For you. Personally. Not from the guru necessarily; but you get your very own copy of the lessons; again, not necessarily written by Yogananda, but by someone very, very close to him.

Closer than you, silly.
Om

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"I was continually disgusted with stories about the Master told by some of the disciples - and by one disciple in particular - wherein Yogananda was always presented as a harsh, abrupt, contrary, and carping tyrant. "And Master really scolded me" was a continual refrain in these reminiscences. One Sunday morning after being treated to a couple of these character assassinations by the lecturer at the Hollywood SRF Church, I went charging into the SRF Cafe and cornered one of the nuns, Sister Vijaya, who had known the Master well. "Did you hear today's talk, and the stories about Master?" I demanded. "Yes." She spoke very quietly as she nodded. "Will you let me tell you how I know the Master to really be?" I pressed further. She immediately sat down, and I took a seat opposite and outlined just how I knew Yogananda to be - in his personality and in his ways of dealing with people. "Now," I concluded, "that is the Yogananda I know - not the mean and nasty grouch presented to us this morning. Which of us is right: X or me?" I cannot forget how sweetly she smiled as she reached over to take my hands. Then she spoke calmly but forcefully. "You are absolutely right. What you say is exactly what Master was - and is - like. But don't worry. Those who are in tune will know." p. 168 in An Eagle's Flight
See the full link on Burke on this board:
pub78.ezboard.com/fsrfwal...mp;stop=20

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