>
SRF Walrus
Mt. Washington, Ca
Open discussions about SRF
Gold Community SRF Walrus
    > Treatment of Members/Monastics
        > Open Letter to Master		 New Topic    Add Reply

<< Prev Topic | Next Topic >>
Author Comment
chela be4
Registered User
(4/18/02 2:52 am)
Reply 		Open Letter to Master
This is a letter to Master I wanted to share with this board concerning the years of serving at a local group. I want to also thank walrus for moderating and implementing the registration to filter out those who would keep us from speaking freely. - IDF chelab4



On bad treatment by SRF and SRF employees

I have returned to reading the Walrus. I do not feel this is a good or healthy thing for me to be doing in the long run and yet it has in the past served a purpose for me. It has been an outlet for some pent up anger, frustration and bewilderment that I have felt. I would like at one level to say that I would never serve as treasurer again. even to extend that, out of frustration, to say not the council. They were very hard years. I served because I had pledged to You to do so. I felt that I needed to give back. I still feel an immense amount of gratitude for just being still alive. That You have kept me from screwing things up beyond hope is something I deeply recognize. I have no true way to repay you. I should be more diligent about the techniques for that I know you want me to do. Your blissful touch is a wonderful reminder. That I have not been strong enough to keep regular in my sadhana shows just how caught up I still am in Maya. I continue to serve You where You have placed me. I hesitate to get to close to the organization for there is pain still there. I have a very deep level of compassion for the treasurers that have followed me. I feel compelled to help them by way of preparing them and bolstering them so they will not be as hurt as I was. Yet I know these have been lessons that I needed to learn. That I idolized the monastics and felt they were beyond reproach. I know now they are just as human as I am. That they too are learning as they go and will make mistakes. I must never again confuse what they say or write or suggest as being from You. You will teach me from my heart and it will feel wonderful even at the worst of times. Your love always comes through even during the painful moments. I must continue to find a way to separate in my own mind the organization from You. There instructions from Yours, while at the same time continuing to serve. I am glad that You made sure I was happily married before these events unfolded. The strange desire to join the ashram after coming in contact with other devotees was very strong. I am glad that phase is over with. I will continue to heal where I am.

I must over time overcome the fear of going to counseling. The satangs are a starting point. I think it will be a long time before I take my personal business to any monastic. I truly feel now that they are not qualified to give this type of assistance. That there is no way in the few minutes with them for them to get enough information about the situation to a get a good grasp on the problem or make a viable recommendation of solution or approach. Perhaps for simple problems or quick questions they are Ok to use. But for the tough, deep life issues concerning the path, family issues and dealing with difficult situations I can not trust that they will be "in tune" or "get" what I am talking about enough to recommend. Perhaps these too have been part of the lessons to not idolize the monastics. Bad advice is bad advice. These I will take to You and I will pray that when your answer comes that I will listen to it, hear it and act upon it. I know I am not to good on this last part. I often here what You want me to do but because I lack faith in my own intuition and cannot always recognize it as that, I do not act on the thought, information or feeling. I can always tell just after that I have made the wrong choice, but how to tell before hand? This I must work on. You are guiding me always. This I know. I must improve my listening and follow through on Your directions.

On transferring bad feelings to the path and Master

I remember how angry and hurt I was the last few months as treasurer. I stopped meditating, I did not seek Your help. I felt this was all Your fault. That I had been treated badly at your behest or that You had permitted it for some sadistic reason. I cannot say I am sorry for having had those feelings. They where and are mine. I own them. That was where I was at that time. I remember another devotee telling me to separate the events from Master. To not blame Master for the ill treatment and insensitivities of others. I did not know then that they too had experienced some of these things at the hands of other devotees. I was not then open to discuss these things because I had not experienced them and so could not in any way understand. I understand to some measure now that people or people and can be mean without even realizing it while being wrapped up in themselves. They have "I" problems and so can not see how their behavior affects others. I too have been guilty of this within my own family to my most beloved. I would like to think I am forgiven at this point. Time and love heal all wounds. We are still moving forward on this, I know. I have gone through a period of rejection while at the same time continuing to serve. By rejection I mean that I have rejected You, Master. That I rejected the teachings, the organization, the lessons, the techniques. Yet my obligations at the time did not permit me to move away from the environment, people or things I was rejecting. This was in fact a good thing for in time I began, with a friend's bolstering help to make the distinction. I had done this once before in my attempts to accept Christ as one of the Guru's while feelings that all Christians were loco in the head. Separating Christ from Christianity had been key for me accepting the Guru-Disciple relationship, the Kriya Pledge and Your bible translations as having any significance what-so-ever. I now have taken a further step to separate SRF the organization from You. The guidance you give me is in Your writings not theirs. I do not wholly reject the writings of the monastics but I do view it in a different light. It is not sacrosanct. It is the experience and view of another person in there own path to You and God. I read those writings now "with grains of salt" and select that which I feel through your guidance is applicable to my life. It is a much more reasonable and balanced way of thinking. I no longer follow what the organization says blindly. I will questions the actions and decisions. They are human too and can and will make mistakes.

On serving You, Master

I still feel, oddly enough that it is right to continue to serve you within the context of the meditation group. This is where you have placed me. This is where you want me to interact. So I remain active in the group ever mindful that every act of services is for You, God and Guru, and not for any member of that group or any monastic or for any SRF employee I may have to come in contact with. In time this wound will heal I will look back on this differently. Right now there is still a lot of pain, frustration, and bewilderment. Reading the lessons does not make one a loving person. So I will view all as being at some point along the way on their personal path to God and Guru. I will not take them too seriously. And I will give my love and affection to You and try my darndest to get these deceptively simple techniques to work and keep my mind on what I am doing while doing those wonderful techniques that bring me ever closer to the love and bliss you have promised to take me to.

In Divine Service
a loving chela

KS
Registered User
(4/18/02 6:11 am)
Reply 		Re: Open Letter to Master
There is plenty of evidence on this board of the true nature of most of the monastics. You are absolutely right not to take problems and life issues to them. To say they are normal “just like us” is being kind. Consider the environment they live in. It is an extreme environment which rewards repressed and/or power hungry personalities. Most there are either sheep or clawing for power every waking hour.

Your point about SRF injecting itself between us and Master is the main problem which seems to be addressed by this board. SRF feels it is the Guru. Our real relationship with Master is being held back by SRF’s attitude and we need to adjust our thinking. Master is showing us by the obvious problems one sees when we get closer to SRF. He makes it pretty obvious doesn’t he!

SRF has done a disservice to the membership and Master by inflating the role of SRF and the president. Master is in the process of correcting that.

Go get ‘em Master! (And wipe that silly grin off their faces too)

username
Registered User
(4/18/02 6:54 am)
Reply 		Re: Open Letter to Master
AVOID ANY TYPE OF COUNSELING FROM ANY OF THE MONASTICS. I would post my experience but it would identify myself to SRF. They will CAUSE YOU more problems then you go to them with.

Amidala of Coruscant
Registered User
(3/30/03 10:29 pm)
Reply 		Re: Open Letter to Master
Your letter to Master is very beautiful and will help many on this forum. It relates so much to what I've been going through. Thankyou. You are a sincere devotee and I know that Master loves you and understands your heart. Please read my post in the section called "I Need Advice" under "Master loves you."

;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)

<< Prev Topic | Next Topic >>

Add Reply

Email This To a Friend Email This To a Friend
Topic Control Image Topic Commands
Click to receive email notification of replies Click to receive email notification of replies
Click to stop receiving email notification of replies Click to stop receiving email notification of replies
jump to:

- SRF Walrus - Treatment of Members/Monastics -



Powered By ezboard® Ver. 7.32
Copyright ©1999-2005 ezboard, Inc.