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Pigga Mata Registered User (8/25/02 8:58 pm) Reply	I move to Ananda Hi everyone! This is actually Pig ma, but I was unable to log on for some reason, and since I couldn't figure it out I decided to just create a new account. I chose the name Pigga Mata, to keep some of the old flavor, while embracing the new. My life has taken a major change, and I wanted to share it with you all, so I wrote the following account: Living at Ananda After a 4 week living discipleship course, I moved to the Chandi house at Ananda. Despite the fact that I had a beautiful life and home in San Diego, there was no doubt in my mind that this was the next step on my spiritual path. This decision came during a one month work exchange program called “Yoga in Action” that I participated in last May. Life here is nothing short of incredible. Living and serving with others who have dedicated their live’s to God has been like having a pitcher full of blessings that keeps pouring out more without ever running dry. Yoganandaji said many times that environment is stronger than will power, and I am now experiencing the positive aspect of that truth. Despite the fact that in my heart I have been very dedicated to this path, I have always struggled with making the effort to meditate daily. Here, I feel as if I jump into a river with a strong current and flow easily down the stream. The gong rings, and it’s time to get ready. Without resistance my feet follow the path down to the meditation room. Chandi house is the place where those new to Ananda stay for a year. In the past before they had this program, new people often got caught up in building their home, etc., instead of first establishing themselves spiritually in the community. At Chandi we have group meals and group meditations, which keep us connected with the true reason we came and with an instant fellowship. We divide up the house duties and cooking, which frees up more time for meditation and service. We have the guidance and support of Stewart and Lalita, two long time devotees who have depth, wisdom and love to help us along the way. Ananda is having a wonderful challenge right now. There are so many of us who want to come and live here, they didn’t even have a room for me! Luckily, creativity found a solution. My place is in the library loft area, and the situation has been very much to my liking. I came during the hot days, and found it was more enjoyable to sleep outside in the hammock. Even now that the evenings have cooled I happily spend each night outdoors. Some mornings I wake up with tree sap in my hair, but it is a small price to pay for sleeping under the stars. I forage for the blackberries that are abundant everywhere, which I pop into the mouth and include in my morning smoothies. I’ve discovered two wild greens that I am familar with from home, and I look forward to learning and discovering more as the days unfold. The trees are filled with ripening apples which are crunchy and sweet, and it surprises me to see people buy apples at the market while nature is so amply providing them. But then there are many mysteries here that I have yet to unravel, since though I have many years on this path (around 17), I am still a newbie here at Ananda. I’ve also noticed that it is a place that encourages growth and facing yourself in the mirror. It isn’t always easy to see what’s there, but I try my best not to worry about it or judge myself too harshly. I feel confident that I am going in the right direction towards changing into a better person, and that no effort made is lost. The leaders here give me the feeling of being treasured and loved, no matter what mistakes I make. My inner sense of security grows from this acceptance of the present reality, as I strive towards the light. One of the toughest challenges for most people is finding a job so that they can meet expenses and stay here. Due to a tough economy and the financial pressures that being in the expensive lawsuit SRF has keep going for over 12 years, staff has been cut back to the bare bones. It is hard to see when people who would love to stay and work here have to move on because of this reason. I have the good fortune to be receiving a small government pension, so I have been spared this agony. My lot has been to choose from the many opportunities to serve as a volunteer- even the modest skills that I bring could be used many times over if time permitted. I’m also very impressed with the infrastructure. From the phones and computer hookups, to being able to open an account at Master’s market and get whatever food and cash I need, I am glad that I’ve come at a time when so many of the small details have been worked out. I also love how I can bike and walk wherever I need to go the majority of the time. After years of commuting, this is something I derive a lot of pleasure from. This community never ceases to amaze me. Everywhere you turn a corner, you run into someone who says something that helps bring new insight into a situation. There are the scheduled services, but I also love the spontaneous events. The other evening there was a kirtan in someone’s garden, where various people took their turns at the harmonium leading chants. The air flowed with love and sweetness! Not for a moment do I forget how grateful I am that I have landed here. I kiss the ground, I kiss the stars. Ananda serves a feast of love and joy, and I never realized before how starved I had been. Devi is like a mother to me, and I bask in her presence. Dianna is my sister, and there are an abundance of brothers, sisters and friends to embrace. Daily I fill up and count the many treasures that living a life for God brings. One of the wonderful things in coming to Ananda at this time has been to be here during the visit of Swami Kriyananda. Coming from an SRF background, and having read many, many accounts of what has happened in the past and the picture they try to portray Ananda in, let me say this. I live wholeheartedly in the here and now. When I gaze into Swami Kriyananda’s eyes, I see and feel only love. I see how he extends this love in an incredibly gracious way to all who cross his path. He has shared his discipleship to Paramhansa Yogananda in such a way as to inspire many others to be leaders who also shine out with Master’s love. In this nest I am happy to make my home. Edited by: Pigga Mata at: 8/26/02 7:06:30 am
gardendiva Registered User (8/26/02 5:25 am) Reply	Re: I move to Ananda Pigma... You spoke so lovingly of your husband in other posts, but make no mention of him here. I know he wasn't an SRF devotee, so I wonder if he's moved with you to Ananda and if so, how that transition has worked for him and if not how has that been for the both of you?
Pigga Mata Registered User (8/26/02 7:18 am) Reply	Re: I move to Ananda Dear Gardendiva, I just added a paragraph to the above post, when I noticed your reply. My husband visited Ananda for 2 days on his own to get his own impressions, and he came away with this conviction- Ananda is a great place with great people, and he could see me being very happy there. I connected with Master via SRF a few months after my husband and I met. When we married a year later, we included in our vows that he would support me in my spiritual path. (He himself has not yet felt the pull for God.) He has kept true to his word all these years, and when I told him I wanted to move to Ananda his first words were, "I promised to support you on your spiritual path." Neither one of us knew it would lead to something like this. Today he comes to visit me for the first time since I've moved here. The community has made it very clear that he is welcome, even though he is not a disciple of Master. What will happen? I don't know, I only trust that it is in Divine Mother's hands. Master gave us a great prayer: We came together in Thy love Let us live together in Thy love Or let us part with love and understanding. I am hoping that the wonderful vibration will draw him here, where I feel our marriage, happy before, would reach a whole new level, because here I have felt joy like I never have before. I would love to share that joy with my husband. Edited by: Pigga Mata at: 8/26/02 7:20:38 am
member108 Registered User (8/26/02 6:09 pm) Reply	Re: I move to Ananda Your husband sounds like a really wonderful and supportive man! Very special. Imagine the srf bad ladies being that supportive of the monastics and members? They feel the great love of Master and are divinely chosen to lead the religion of the new age (a little sarcasm slipped in). However, even in their greatness they could learn the simple rules of caring for others from your humble husband.
wholetruth Registered User (8/26/02 6:37 pm) Reply	Re: I move to Ananda Well, gosh, good luck! From one fairy tale to the next... Quite frankly, your experience there sounds very creepy--a textbook case of cult indoctrination. Please stay in touch with your husband. If his love stays true, someday he will be rescuing you from their clutches when the inevitable disillusionment comes. It's amazing that with all your experience with SRF, you're still looking for that perfect, fairytale spiritual environment and family. This is planet earth. Spiritual growth comes through everyday struggle. The most real thing you have right now is the husband who loves you, and you are willing to set him aside for an artificial, saccharine love and acceptance. Edited by: wholetruth at: 8/27/02 2:02:08 pm
srflongago Registered User (8/27/02 8:59 am) Reply	Re: I move to Ananda There have been many attempts at ideal communities set up by like minded people. Some are successful, some are not. Some people come alone, some bring loved ones. Some stay forever, some stay a while and leave. All are searching for something missing in their lives, higher levels of spirituality. SRF was not contributing to PIGMA's spritual path. The founder of Ananda had faults. But this does not mean that Ananda is a failure. Establishing a Householder environment for spirituality is laudable but depends for success on the specific people there and on establishing an economic base for survival. We should not denigrate this effort based on preconceptions or details of beliefs and how they are executed. I am sure that the decision to try Ananda apart from a supportive spouse is extraordinarily worriesome and traumatic for both. What if the spouse never wants to join her, and gets tired of a life alone? And what if then the move is not satisfactory to PIGMA in the long run, or turns out to be less satisfactory than living in marital bliss? These are very difficult issues. Both of them need support, understanding, and sympathy, not criticism. Edited by: srflongago at: 8/27/02 9:02:59 am
wholetruth Registered User (8/27/02 2:06 pm) Reply	Re: I move to Ananda Srflongago: You may be right, and I apologize for my skepticism and cynicism, but it just seems like moving from one cult to the next--not a path to enlightenment. Edited by: wholetruth at: 8/27/02 2:24:42 pm
srflongago Registered User (8/27/02 5:58 pm) Reply	Re: I move to Ananda I haven't heard anything about Ananda as presently constituted that would indicate it should be labelled a cult. It rather looks like a community of like minded people, all seeking enlightenment, without a central supervisor and without any central mind control. This does not mean it is economically feasible or that the community has a long term future, of course. My impression is entirely second hand. It seems to me to correspond as intended to Yogananda's dream of world communities of householders. It seems to be a miniature of Pondicherry, the creation of the man I think of as the greatest Yogi of the 20th century, Sri Aurobindo. Remember that Yogananda's mentor, and his mentor's mentor were householders by choice.
chrisparis Registered User (8/28/02 6:17 am) Reply	Re: I move to Ananda (This message was left blank) Edited by: chrisparis at: 11/22/02 7:42:51 am
gardendiva Registered User (8/28/02 7:34 am) Reply	ideals Every individual has their own way to make in the world and there will be an unique path for each. Speaking for myself, I have never felt more able to appreciate life fully since I let go of "ideals." For years I felt I had to live near an SRF temple, had to have SRF friends, had to surround myself with a "sprititual" environment to "progress." Guess what? I found that it caused me to feel guilt (when I enjoyed the sense pleasures that life provided or when I failed to stick to the book in my practice), to feel desire (desire for SRF friends, community etc.), and a basic un-ease at the thought of "losing" SRF friends when they moved or losing the SRF community when it seemed to be riddled with it's own strife. Through my own personal experience and self examination, I have gradually learned that ideals are only one more way to delude myself. Finally I am learning to look at my life, in all it's chaos and confusion, and find that it's more beautiful and perfect than I ever thought possible. I now can look at friends, that previously I felt a separation from, because they weren't SRF, or had a spiritual practice, or, you name it, and truly appreciate them. I can look at myself, on the days (sometimes many) that I don't meditate, or that I get angry or depressed, and see that it's okay...that everything is okay. That's not to say that I don't do what needs to be done for myself, or my family, or the planet. It's just that I no longer feel anxiety over acquiring the perfect situation. I know that life is my greatest teacher now and my lessons can (and do) come from everywhere and anywhere. PiggaMatta, I tend to agree with what has been said by the others in this thread, so in that light I ask that you be cautious and remain true in your heart to your husband. That being said, I wish you the best in your quest...we all have our own way to make in the world.
username Registered User (8/28/02 10:30 am) Reply	To Pig Ma If you join Ananda do they expect that you will contribute all your assets to help them pay off all the debts caused by SRF and other lawsuits? Don't mess up your relationship with your husband. It sounds like he will be there to the end. I'm doubtful if the folks at Ananda (or even Ananda) will be. If you are having problems with having the discipline to meditate daily, you should work on developing daily habits that will help you in that goal. Running away to Ananda, where during the "honeymoon" period, daily meditation is easy, will not help you build the character of this discipline in your life. To really see what a spiritual community should be like, I would recommend that you read books on the communities that were created by Gandhi. Are you aware that the American Civil Rights movement was started by a black woman who sat on a bus, after having been trained by the Gandhi community? Talk about making a difference in the world! Once one is centered in his spiritual practice, I think it is important to stop being a recluse and living only with those of "your own kind" (or church group). But to bring yourself to participate fully in society and start making a difference to the world as a whole. Try volunteering in gang prevention programs, or disaster assistance or just helping that old grumpy neighbor down the street with his yard work. Or join the peace corps. THIS IS THE ONLY WAY THE WORLD WILL EVER CHANGE.
srflongago Registered User (8/28/02 11:50 am) Reply	Re: ideals THese letters all express deep misgivings. They demonstrate that this is a very worriesome change for both spouses. But let us give them a chance. They will learn what is right for them from experience. It is not like jumping off a bridge.
Pigga Mata Registered User (8/28/02 7:50 pm) Reply	Re: ideals Srflongago, I appreciate your compassionate responses, and the others who have voiced their opinions surely come from a place of concern and caring for all involved. I love being open and sharing with all, but I realized that in this situation regarding my husband it is best to be more private. I always try to put a positive slant on things, while still being real. For instance, yes, this is a honeymoon phase at Ananda, and I revel in it. But even so, I am currently also experiencing a large bout of posion oak on my body. One of my friends called it the "oakmata", and that's what I laughingly call it now. Itchy and unpleasant, but still the joy seeps through.
Lobo Registered User (8/28/02 7:56 pm) Reply	Re: I move to Ananda In the SRF vows of marriage, written SRF tells us by PY, there aren't any vows of obedience such as you've imagined. There are vows of both seeking to find God together, to be loyal to each other, to aspire to bring spiritual children into this world, to help, forgive, and assist each other. They are very open, not restrictive as love, for it to be real, must flow naturally from one partner to the other. It can't be faked for a marriage to last. That is why the Lesson's teach that one shouldn't go into a marriage based solely upon physical attraction as, of course, after a short period of time, that's not sustainable as a foundation for a lifetime marriage partnership. One should take into account, rather, mental harmony in terms of goals, ideals etc., but highest should be spiritual harmony; both partners seeking the same, and if that's not possible, neither impeding the other in their search for Self-realization or spiritual fulfillment. So maybe they have the highest love for each other, that of spiritual love, and are only expressing that through what Pigga Ma has told us of her new life, and what that means to her husband and her's relationship.
chrisparis Registered User (8/29/02 6:37 am) Reply	Re: I move to Ananda (This message was left blank) Edited by: chrisparis at: 11/22/02 7:43:19 am
srflongago Registered User (8/29/02 7:16 am) Reply	Re: I move to Ananda I am confident from the internal tone of her posts that Pigma has learned from past experience. She will be less credulous, less gullible, less naive, more observant, more questioning, more capable of discerning judgement, more able to follow her inner feelings of rightness, more able to stand on nher own feet and reject judgements of others which violate these inner feelings. I think she and her spouse will find their way.
gardendiva Registered User (8/29/02 8:18 am) Reply	Re: I move to Ananda srflongago... I certainly hope you are right and wish PigMa and her husband the best in this journey of their's. Lobo... Regarding SRF vows of marriage. First of all, I have seen just as many (or more statistally I'm told, thought I'm not sure of the facts) divorce cases among SRF couples who get married in SRF, as happens "out there" in the real world. People seem to get this idea that if they have the common goal of "finding God" that their marriage will be hunky dory. Big mistake. Maybe it works for some, but I have seen others get themselves in deep doo doo with this attitude. I've seen people get married with nothing else in common but SRF and the marriage fails, big time. Once again, there seems to be an unrealistic ideal that members/students think they have to live up to. Most people aren't ready for this kind of thing, and even if they were I'm not convinced that it's healthy. This idea of fragmenting a person into spiritual, physical, mental, etc.etc., isn't very wholistic and doesn't take into consideration the complexities of human beings. First, have a spiritual goal be the same, second see that the intellects mesh, third (or somewhere way, way, down the list) there can be - a little - physical attraction...it's like some kind of a check list. I don't know, maybe bottom line is that SRF doesn't encourage THINKING in it's members, or relying on their inner guidance (if their inner guidance is different from the organization's!). Well, perhaps this is getting pretty far off topic...I apologize. If this needs to be moved (if the discussion would like to be continued) that would be fine with me. But, PigMa, best of luck to you and your husband. Hope you get rid of your poison oak...I'm in the Bay area and I've seen a bunch while out hiking, so I know it's a danger.
lutamata Registered User (8/29/02 4:42 pm) Reply	Re: I move to Ananda i am sorry if i am out of topic... but... lobo, i was just wondering... would you have the text of the srf marriage vows? my husband and i got married at lake shrine 6.5 years ago, but i lost the thing that had the vows. thank you very much. and pig ma, i wish you luck. i took the other path. while i wanted to progress spiritually, i decided to be with my husband, who, while not on a spiritual path, is actually my teacher in unconditional love. besides, i figured that since circumstances (actually a dream) made me back out of moving into the apartment near the hollywood temple (after which i met my husband), i figured god and guru had other plans for me... lovepeacejoy, namaste...
redpurusha Registered User (9/10/02 11:57 am) Reply	Re: I move to Ananda chrisparis What audacity Jesus must have had to tell everyone to drop what they were doing and "come follow me" because he is "the way the truth and the Son of God." Do we need any other evidence of a dangerous cult-following other than the quote "sell everything you have and give to the poor... whoever leaves his famly, brothers, sisters, for me, shall be rewarded." (sarcasim intented) And to a great degree, this is what appears to be happening with Pigma. Except going to live in a monastic order, she has chosen to live in a spiritual community -leaving behind a husband (for some period?) Everyone has their own individual path to walk -whether it be a monastic, householder, married, single, or a member of a spiritual community like Ananda. Because this is not for you doesn't mean its not right for Pigma -probably whatever you are doing or whatever path you have chosen or not chosen, is completely wrong for Pigma and most people. She has shared her experience and perspective with us, which personally I appreciate and enjoy to read about, but not gone out of way to convert us to Ananda. Thank you Pigma for sharing your experiene. Good luck to you and your relationship with your husband. If this teaching of giving up ones outer life for God is a dangerous-cult-tactic and presumebly the reason behind the SRF monastic order, then what religioun/path is immune to the cult label? -none. Perhaps maybe the Buddha, because he did not attach himself with any particular religion or personal God, but even he taught to abandon the pleasures of this world and seek pain-free Nirvana. I read treads about SRF placing the gurus on a pedestal, I'm not exactly sure by what is meant by that, but this I find to be normal and logical. Why? Because they are to be examples to follow, the self-realized masters, on our quest to God. They are not looked up to for no reason, but because they have succeeded in the quest for truth and were willing to share their insights and experience with us. We are (well I for one) am inspired by the lives of such saints -like Jesus, Yogananda and others) and look upto them for guidance and inspiration. SRF provides (for me), perhaps a filtered reality and teaching of Yogananda, but meditation provides direct contact with God and the saints. It is normal to first learn of things (anythiing) indirectly and theoretically, and gradually learn through direct experience and insight -gradually leaving behind the indirect filtered (SRF written version) and being guided by intuition. This is what Yogananda acutally teaches in his speeches. I take the teachings (of SRF) to be universal 'guidelines' to be applied to individual circumstances. This does not mean the lessons are wrong or right, just that they have a place and serve a purpose. Perhaps you may think they just confuse and are a twisted version of Yogananda (by the bad ladies), or that Yogananda himself is just another founder of a new age cult (ther's that word again). If you do so, then go on some other path and abandon this one, just don't tell others its not for them because it doesn't fit you.
Pigga Mata Registered User (9/10/02 6:36 pm) Reply	Thank you redpurusha I fully appreciated your comments and support. At first I hesitated to share the fact that I had moved to Ananda, but when I wrote the opening article, I felt that it was right to post it in this open forum and allow whatever follows to happen. It was not something I ever, ever expected to do, since I was very attached to what San Diego had to offer- husband, beautiful home, pig, dog and nearby family members. I always praised San Diego as the most perfect place to live- why even consider moving somewhere else? There was a scene in the movie "Godspell" near the beginning. After the disciples are baptised by John the Baptist, they run off. One woman throws her purse in the trash. Everytime I watched this I would tear up, being moved to my core. They gave everything up for Christ! What would that be like? Well, moving to Ananda is not like giving everything up, since we still maintain our money and independence. Plus, the amenities are plenty, unlike the older days I've read about with teepees and trailers. Still, the joy of being in a group of fellow gurubais is indescribably sweet. I feel like I have given nothing up, the material things left behind in San Diego are like dust to me. As I wrote earlier, I have chosen to remain silent on how this has affected my relationships, which I do not include in the catagory of dust. The love and understanding between my husband and I continues as we explore where our paths have led us. I also appreciate the fact that you realize that I am not trying to convert you to Ananda. I had a great time with SRF, and there are many people in SRF who fit so well and thrive in that vibration- there is no one right way for everyone! My friends feel the same way you do, with the exception of one. She won't even receive my emails because of this, despite the fact that we agreed not to mention "A" or "K". However, my very email address has Ananda in it, so she prefers we communicate in other ways. We have talked this out, and I am glad that we have found a way for harmony between us. So, many thanks for your kind words.
parabastha Registered User (9/11/02 5:35 am) Reply	Re: Thank you redpurusha "However, my very email address has Ananda in it, so she prefers we communicate in other ways." That's funny! The name of her Guru has "ananda" in it too. What she will do?

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