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        > From: Unmonked - 30 years ago -- 3/8/02		 New Topic    Add Reply

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srfwalrus
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(3/11/02 7:02 pm)
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From: Unmonked - 30 years ago -- 3/8/02
Unmonked: 30 years ago -- 3/8/02
pub78.ezboard.com/fsrfwal...D=28.topic

This is my first contribution here. I have been searching off-and-on for a site like this ever since I first got on the Internet 6 years ago. I just wanted to relate my story (briefly), make a few comments on things I’ve read here, and ask a couple of questions.
I spent 3 years in the ashram in the early 1970’s. Never became a brahmachari, just a novice. Worked at what was then called simply the “printshop.” Most, if not all, of those who entered the postulant ashram at that time (I entered in 1971) had recent histories of psychedelic drug use (but were of course clean). Bro. Mitrananda mentioned at one of the recent convocations that all the postulant monks are now foreign-born. That’s a big change from when I was at Encinitas. I was young, just 21. Bro. Mitrananda, then named Craig I think Domigan, was in my postulant group (I also knew him for awhile before he became a monk, living near the Hwd. Temple).
In other posts, depression has been mentioned as a correlate of SRF renunciate life. Speaking only for myself, I know that I was depressed before I became a monk, was depressed while I was a monk, and still battle this condition today. In my own case, I’m sure there was a connection between spiritual seeking, renunciation, and depression, but I cannot say that SRF caused my depression.
Before I left the ashram, an incredibly kind brother (who has since left the ashram, too) counseled me in my decision to leave the ashram. I took my concerns to him and he was good. I also talked to Bro. Anandamoy. My own opinion: his natural aloofness (his formal training was in architecture, not a profession which draws many cruise director-types) may sometimes be mistaken for coldness; of course, I was not around long enough to have anything more than a casual acquaintance with him, but he treated me nicely, said he talked to Daya Mata about my wanting to leave and she agreed it was for the best. So I left. I was 25.
My wonderful father had anticipated that I might not stay in the ashram for the rest of my life and had put some money away for me to have for a possible transition back into “the world.” I’m glad to hear that this transition has become a concern and that some are trying to help SRF monks re-enter life outside the ashram. It’s not easy and I wish I had sought more spiritual and emotional support.
I knew Bro. Bhavananda before I became a monk, while he was still the minister for the Hwd. Temple. A wonderful, charismatic minister. We all loved him. I saw much less of him when I became a monk, although he was for a short time the novice counselor at MW then off to India.

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