SRF has no social activities

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username Registered User (3/23/02 6:06 am) Reply	SRF has no social activities Can someone explain to me why SRF, unlike every other church, has not social activities or events that enable SRF members to meet each other? Why no single events? Why no activities for married families? Why no dinner dances for couples? And often the few "help the community events" are restricted to voluntary league members only. Why aren't all temple attenders invited? SRF is the strangest place!
shamila Registered User (3/23/02 4:54 pm) Reply	Re: SRF has no social activities (This message was left blank) Edited by: shamila at: 6/2/02 2:33:46 pm
X Insider Registered User (3/24/02 9:48 am) Reply	Re: SRF has no social activities Yes, it seems that Master wanted to keep group meetings mainly for meditation rather than socializing. This would work out pretty well if Lahiri Mahasaya's tradition had been followed. You remember in the AOY that he said Kriya Yoga was for those of all religions. But SRF has demanded that you declare SRF as your religion before you get Kriya. They say that the gurus' blessings are somehow cut off if you do not join SRF. They would say, of course, that this is for your own good, trying to mandate the devotees one-pointed attention. (This is absurd to me now my rose-colored glasses are off. Just imagine an infinitely loving God's blessings being channeled through the rules at Mother Center!) Thus we have SRF "churches" that have to keep up with some demand for social activities in order not to lose the funding of the lay membership. But their heart is not in it and it comes across as very awkward. The monastics who control what the lay disciples receive hear over and over that solitude is the price of greatness.
chuckle chela Registered User (3/24/02 11:23 pm) Reply	Re: SRF has no social activities I think part of the problem is that we've never learned how to talk with each other, how to listen to each other, and how to have genuine community. Look at Master, he comes to America and makes thousands of friends who can trust and confide in him. They laugh with him, play with him, work with him, sing and meditate with him, talk and discuss with him. They come to trust, love, and revere him. What an example he set. And yet, probably because of the historical and psychological circumstances surrounding SRF's leadership since 1952, we've forgotten or ignored the fine arts of forming friendships, of laughing and talking together. Instead, we have what Scott Peck calls "Pseudocommunity," where everyone is pleasant and nice...and terribly superficial. We don't trust the members to be able to talk. We don't trust the members so we don't listen. We don't trust ourselves to acknowledge and face the shadows within. We don't trust ourselves so we don't go dancing down the drive of 3880 San Rafael Ave. with our saris or shirts swirling in the breeze. My understanding is that the biggest complaint heard in the temples and meditation groups is that members aren't friendly. And we try so earnestly, really we do, but in all the wrong sorts of ways. We're too superficial, so we greet newcomers and talk about banalities when they really want genuine contact. And if they survive that, they become numbed by the formulaic practices and services which, in and of themselves, are okay but can ignore creativity and spontaneity if not used wisely. And when members respond to creative spiritual seeking--witness the popularity of kirtan--we're told to cool our jets. We need to learn and practice dialogue and we need to put the fun back into the spiritual path. Yes, as you intimated X Insider, we can have our solitude (and we must), but when we are with others, as Master said, be with them wholeheartedly.
KS Registered User (4/25/02 8:48 pm) Reply	Re: SRF has no social activities Master had fun, went on vacations, enjoyed Christmas gift giving… he participated in life on this level. SRF does not have social engagements out of fear. Fear of being criticized for something that happens at an event, fear of not being in control, fear fear fear. Why don’t they like children and have children’s events? Fear fear fear. If control freaks can’t control they fear. They also don't care a whip about the normal development of devotees. They are totally focused on themselves and their own needs (to maintain control).
gardendiva Registered User (5/10/02 6:54 pm) Reply	Re: SRF has no social activities Hollywood temple used to have a Young Adult group (read: singles) that met once a month. We had refreshments afterward. That was many years ago. We were a pretty tight knit group back then, but I don't know who's left and things change. I moved from there. I found SD temple very welcoming, but only because I already knew another devotee there, who was very outgoing. But any temple that I've attended where I didn't know someone there first, I certainly have felt the other devotees pretty distant. Even when I've volunteered I've never been able to form the kind of relationships with people that I find nuturing and close. Some temples do have social activities. It all depends on what the temple commitees decide. At Richmond temple we were watching videos of the Ramayan and having a potluck once a month on a Sunday after service. That was nice...but it's gone now.
soulcircle Registered User (5/11/02 1:06 am) Reply	Re: SRF has no social activities This thread has exhibits thoughtful care. For decades, fellowship/social activities, and love one another was my "DREAM"........ and "COURSE OF SERVICE" deep in SRF, yes the friendship lesson!, and even Daya's tape that has a part on friendship Please help me all of you, in the pain and need in the rest of this note from me. Inspired by love, gurudeva, Kamala and the true yoginis and yogis of this planet.....to get up off my lazy backside....... I was helped by some to set up, and many of us sat down, deep within SRF, householders and monastics....... to have fellowship and support around a problem. When this experience was formally shared with SRF powers that be, I (as great a lover of srf in the world as any, when not tryin to watch a rare sporting event or worse on the boob tube) ...saw and was bitten by the bloody emotionally abusive teeth of spiritual terror, specifically told that I wasn't welcome at Mother Center, which "had" been my "spiritual home" most of my life. My offspring "grew" up there. This unfinished entry collaspes in pain........you are helping already but the pain is to the "quick" (to the marrow)...... I do get extensive non-srf couseling....but the loss of home.......... I stand with the spiriually "homeless" of srf....who mean the world to me. Love You ....is there a warning label at the hallowed gates of mother center, telling the hundreds of thousands, whom angelic monastics tell, "this is your spiritual home," ........[yeah right Homer, LOL].. that many years down the road you may be shattered, your "marriage" to gurudeva destroyed, etc. to learn otherwise Edited by: soulcircle at: 5/11/02 1:22:32 am
unmonked Registered User (5/11/02 5:45 am) Reply	Re: SRF has no social activities Soulcircle, among many powerful posts I have read on this board, yours gave me goosebumps. You have spoken to my own heart. Thank you. I need to think about what you have written and look forward to more.
chuckle chela Registered User (5/11/02 4:26 pm) Reply	Re: SRF has no social activities Hi, soulcircle! Welcome to the club. You wrote: "I stand with the spiritually "homeless" of srf....who mean the world to me." Wow, you have a way with words! That sentence really struck home; I think you've expressed how many of us feel--spiritually homeless. You can take a deep breath, soulcircle. You're among friends. Blessings to you. Note to Mother Center Monitor: If you're still out there, I hope you'll read soulcircle's message a few times. Try reading it just before you go to sleep at night, just after a night's meditation. Sweet dreams. Oh, I almost forgot--if you have a heart, you'll want to have some kleenex handy.
motlom Registered User (5/14/02 7:14 am) Reply	Re: SRF has no social activities I'm sure PY didn't intend for it to work this way, but it just so happens that the non-socializing rule works in SRFs favor bigtime. By not developing social relationships, members will likely never discuss problems they may be having with the organization, the lessons, or whatever.
gardendiva Registered User (5/15/02 9:25 pm) Reply	Re: SRF has no social activities I think I'm learning, after all these years of hoping to find kindred spirits interested in community at SRF, that affiliation with a spiritual group and said communities do not necessarily go hand in hand. There are lots of things that bring people together and I'm beginning to understand that the belief that those who hold the same "spiritual organization" in common, don't always have the feeling of kinship in general. It's surprising how one might think that a common guru or common teachings would bring people together, and it not necessarily be so. You can have those who have a fundamentalist take on their path and those that see the world more in shades of gray with the same path, and really it doesn't end up seeming like the same path. Those two people will not be very likely to form close bonds. And maybe that's what this is all about. I mean, people who come to this board are those that see things a little differently than the majority of SRF members. That being so, it makes it a lot harder to form connections with others at the groups and temples, because of this fundamental difference of how the world is viewed, and ultimately how one's path is viewed. I'm thinking this up as I write, so if it seems a little muddled I apologize. The few dear friends I have formed through SRF have been more a result of common cultural affinities, than a result of the organization itself bringing us together. I have always felt a little uncomfortable with the mindset that SRF is the "highest" path, which is what is frequently gleened from conversation at temples etc. I suppose that's not unusual, but it makes it clear that it's not for me. So, perhaps it's not so much the lack of social activities that has prevented me, personally, from forming community with other devotees. Maybe it's just the nature of an "organization" and all the baggage that that entails, that has been the major stumbling block. I will say, that I have found dear friends outside of SRF. No, we don't talk about meditation or things like that, but we care about one another, help each other out and inspire one another to become better people. Maybe that's the way it should be. The spiritual journey is ultimately a solitary one (in that, our practice will always be God and us...that's it). Perhaps it's important to let go of the bias that only "spiritual" people (in the very outwardly, literal sense of the word...not the essence) make the best friends. Perhaps it's time to let everyone into our hearts and see what comes. After all, is God any less present in someone who is not part of SRF?
Should Free Registered User (5/21/02 10:45 pm) Reply ezSupporter	Monasticism has always been an introverted activity People that go for the monastic life are usually introverted types. The extroverted ones will never feel too comfortable in the rigid, cold environment of the monastery. Nuns, in the so called lessons, (they should be called "brain washing") presented the Master's teachings in a monastic way -- of course. As I have said before, SRF teachings are"monastic teachings." They are not for the man/woman living in the world. They are about renunciation (i.e. fragmentation). The spiritual path in the world is about integration (exactly the opposite.) Contrary to the monastics lies, both path (the monastic and that for the householder) are VERY different. So, in regard to social life what can we expect? of course... more monasticism, more introversion B.S.! What else? SRF is bias and exalts introversion -- the right way to be is to be "introverted." However, obviously, to their dismay, there are many ways to be, and God does not have preferences because human diversities represent aspects of Himself. To be extroverted (50% of the population) is as good as to be introverted. But then they will say: "Master said: 'Reclusion is the price of greatness.'" Either they forgot a very important detail, he was talking to monastics that day, or, he just intended to say that you have to be able to tolerate some aloneness to meditate. Or, simply, Master, being himself a monastic had also the same bias, and therefore he was wrong. In this world there are many ways to be. God is social and extroverted as much as reclusive and introverted, "He is everything." This last thought, "God is everything" is the greatest of Master's thoughts because we can accept ourselves; stop trying to change ourselves. As the saying goes: "to arrive, stop traveling." Should Free
gardendiva Registered User (5/22/02 7:29 am) Reply	Re: Monasticism has always been an introverted activity Should Free.... Very good points. The reclusive behavior that is frequently found in people at SRF (in my experience) can be traced to what you are referring. There may be a couple people here and there that are very outgoing and extend themselves in a sincere way, but it seems to be the exception rather than the norm. I always thought it was just me...that I somehow wasn't attracting people to me, because of some inherent fault in myself Also, I think the behavior varies from temple to temple and group to group. It's kind of interesting, when you read about the lives of Sri Yuksteshwar and Lahiri Mahasaya, it seems there were always people around. Sri Yuksteshwar would get up in the middle of the night to feed visitors! The Indian model is one of great community support. Yes, there are the times for seclusion, but aside from one's daily periods of meditation, it seems interaction and service to others is imperative. More often than not, in the stories of great saints, recent and past, the majority will be among people, not in cloister. They would be giving of themselves in very tangible ways.
redpurusha Registered User (5/24/02 7:25 am) Reply	Re: Monasticism has always been an introverted activity Should Free, in his autobiography Yogananda writes that there are many different types of devotees, those secluded in the ashrams (Sri Yukteswar, etc.), householders (Mahasaya, etc) , and those who mingle in the world (as Yogananda did). And they all are successful in finding God. So it is an individual matter. You chose whatever best suites your search for God. But you got to remember, even Yogananda says that Christ and he himself had spend numerous lives in seclusion meditating deeply to get to that level of realization he had attained. Indeed, "seclusion is the price of greateness." But that does not mean to be secluded forever. A central teaching Yogananda had taught was that a balance was to be made "a golden middle path" between material outer world and spiritual inner world, and I think that is one very important thing that Yogananda wanted to stress in his life, and his life speaks for itself on how to live that balanced life of inner and outer activity. Finally, from the few years I've observed SRF, I think unfortunately, that the balance has been lost and there is a favortism towards the innerlife. But don't say Yogananda was wrong in teaching that seclusion is the price of greatness. That is simply not true.
chrisparis Registered User (5/24/02 9:47 am) Reply	Re: Monasticism has always been an introverted activity Hate to jump in with a "yeah, but..." but... O.K. lets say PY and Jesus were able to mingle with the world because of previous lifetimes of deep and intense meditiation. Well, how do you know how many previous lifetimes YOU'VE spent as a monastic? Probably all of us who chose to follow the path of the kriya gurus have done that before. I don't remember many details of previous incarnations, so I don't know about myself, and I DEFINITELY don't know about anybody else. But one thing I DO know for certain, nobody at MW knows about my way past activities either. I guess the solution is you go where God tells you to go, do what God tells you to do, and trust deeply that all will work out well. Maybe it is 25 percent disciple's effort, 25 percent guru's effort, and 50 percent grace of God, but I am taking the view these days that it's 100 percent grace of God. And on that, may I say God Bless You
Should Free Registered User (5/25/02 2:06 am) Reply ezSupporter	Re: Monasticism has always been an introverted activity Hi Redpurusha You say...<<<<Should Free, in his autobiography Yogananda writes that there are many different types of devotees, those secluded in the ashrams (Sri Yukteswar, etc.), householders (Mahasaya, etc) , and those who mingle in the world (as Yogananda did). And they all are successful in finding God. So it is an individual matter. You chose whatever best suites your search for God. But you got to remember, even Yogananda says that Christ and he himself had spend numerous lives in seclusion meditating deeply to get to that level of realization he had attained. Indeed, "seclusion is the price of greateness." But that does not mean to be secluded forever. A central teaching Yogananda had taught was that a balance was to be made "a golden middle path" between material outer world and spiritual inner world, and I think that is one very important thing that Yogananda wanted to stress in his life, and his life speaks for itself on how to live that balanced life of inner and outer activity. Finally, from the few years I've observed SRF, I think unfortunately, that the balance has been lost and there is a favortism towards the innerlife. But don't say Yogananda was wrong in teaching that seclusion is the price of greatness. That is simply not true.>>>> You can find words in PY's teachings to prove anything, as in the Bible and in any scripture. However, SRF has a strong flavor, and presents PY teachings with that strong, smelly flavor called monasticism. PY created SRF. This horrible set of lessons -- monastic lessons -- were suppose to replace PY. Let me say that those lessons are a shame to PY's memory. Or, you may conclude that PY deserves those lessons to represent him for not being more carefull in selecting those who were going to continue with his work. Let us stop blaming SRF alone. Let us not be blind. PY creatred SRF and created this whole mess too. He is at least 50 percent responsible for this mess. And I'm waiting for him to give me a good, personal explanation and apology for the damage created in my personal life. After all, if SRF teaches monastic teachings to the world, to lay members, PY is responsible for that too. He was not careful enough to make clear to his disciples waht was for the householder and what was for the monastic. He has created a great confusion I tell you. And I hope he will give me someday a good explanation! But unfortunately, I doubt that I will ever get that explanation for two reasons. 1) SRF never gives explanations, they know it all. So I have to assume that its founder also thinks that he knows it all and that he does not have to give any explanation. 2) PY said that he had killed Yogananda long time ago. So, where am I going to go now with my complains? Nowhere, Yogananda is dead, he killed himself.
gardendiva Registered User (5/25/02 7:09 am) Reply	Re: Monasticism has always been an introverted activity Should Free....Maybe you are right in that Yogananda should bear some responsibility for the mutation of his teachings. However, what about Christ and Mohammed and what has happened to their teachings? Should they have never taught at all? Life is change. Sometimes it's "good" sometimes it's "bad." We just have to take what is best for us and leave the rest behind. Perhaps the greatest challenge is learning what is right for us...I know that's true for me. Things have certainly changed in SRF, we all realize that. Even though PY may have taught with a monastic mindset, when you read about some of his early disciples and how the intermingled and went to nature together and celebrated the holidays together, you can see that he was a social person as well as taking time for seclusion. Maybe it was a different time then, certainly the organization was much smaller and tight knit...perhaps it should have never grown. But what is, IS, and we have to do the best we can. If I don't find what I need in SRF, I've learne to go elsewhere. For friends, for truthful teachings and tools. Maybe I wasn't as damaged as you, ShouldFree, my emotional investment in SRF less than yours, but I don't feel "bad" about taking the lessons and all, I just feel that for me personally, they haven't been enough.
chela2020 Registered User (5/25/02 1:05 pm) Reply	/ (This message was left blank) Edited by: chela2020 at: 6/30/02 2:36:17 pm
member108 Registered User (5/25/02 1:35 pm) Reply	Auchwitz I have to agree with chela2020. We should blame ourselves and be thankful for the tests that God puts before us. People complained the same way about Auchwitz in the 1940’s. If it were only setup differently people would not have suffered so much. Whine whine whine. Those lead there were put there by God, not just the Germans. (both the guards and the victims) It was their karma due to past wrong actions. If it had not been Auchwitz it would have been somewhere else. Those people (both the guards and the victims) needed those lessons. Many of those suffering there needed to learn those lessons before they could move on. If we could look up those people today they are probably much better off now. I realize that it isn’t an easy thing to see. I myself spent years complaining about the camps like Auchwitz. When I quit finding fault my mind was set free and I began to feel peaceful again. Auchwitz/SRF has it’s place. Grow up everyone! I hope you realize this is sarcasm! On the other hand, I do feel it is our responsibility to make the world a better place. I also feel it is our responsibility to protect our Master’s work from evil doers. I feel most devotees are just burying their heads because it is easier. They don't have the moral courage to try to help those being abused by Mother Center. Show some backbone out there!
Should Free Registered User (5/25/02 2:06 pm) Reply ezSupporter	Re: Auchwitz Dear friends Thanks for your advise. i know you mean well. Since you all basically are saying the same I'm answering to all of you here. i agree basically with the importance of moving beyond blame. But there is a time to do that. First there has to be a jugment. The blame has to be put where it rightly belong so that the victim feels freer and compensated, and the suffering becomes meaningful. Auchwitz is gone and is not hurting people anymore -- it is over. That is a big big difference. The perpetrators paid and the abused stop, and the blame was put where it belongs, and humanity grew up as a result. But SRF isstill hurting people everyday -- good, sincere people. The moral duty involved is totally different. The anger we experience as a result of having been victimized is useful and sacred -- it is energy. It can be used for a high purpose -- to protect others and to improve this world. You have killed your anger and you feel confortable now. I could go that way and i do have the tools to do it. However, i do not want to. i'm enjoying my anger and i'm gathering it so that at the right time it will be useful to do something. SRF has hurt many people with its monastic teachings -- marriages broken, anxiety disorders, depression, low self esteem, feelings of inadequacy and of never been good enough and so on. This keeps happening with new comers -- right in front of my eyes! Will we allow it? Or will we do something about it. SRF has hurt many and that is a dangerous thing to do in this country. It is easy to prove that SRF has been selling monastic teachings to lay people for 50 years or more -- that is the first step. To prove the damage in your life is the next step. If you can prove it -- presto, you have a juicy case. And if you went to therapy like in my case and discussed these things with your therapist they can help you going to court to testify. The total damage has been tremendous and this could put at stake millions in lawsuits. We just need a good lawyer, and we need to learn to do what PY taught in the chemistry of emotions: Anger, plus the right cause, plus self control, can produce wonderful changes in the world (and in his work too). If you are intersted to further explore this avenue let us keep the dialog. And let us all look for a lawyer.
chela2020 Registered User (5/25/02 5:49 pm) Reply	/ / Edited by: chela2020 at: 6/30/02 2:37:09 pm

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