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SRF Walrus

Mt. Washington, Ca

Open discussions about SRF

SRF Walrus > Life on the Inside > 30 years ago
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unmonked Unregistered User (3/8/02 9:04 pm) Reply	30 years ago This is my first contribution here. I have been searching off-and-on for a site like this ever since I first got on the Internet 6 years ago. I just wanted to relate my story (briefly), make a few comments on things I’ve read here, and ask a couple of questions. I spent 3 years in the ashram in the early 1970’s. Never became a brahmachari, just a novice. Worked at what was then called simply the “printshop.” Most, if not all, of those who entered the postulant ashram at that time (I entered in 1971) had recent histories of psychedelic drug use (but were of course clean). Bro. Mitrananda mentioned at one of the recent convocations that all the postulant monks are now foreign-born. That’s a big change from when I was at Encinitas. I was young, just 21. Bro. Mitrananda, then named Craig I think Domigan, was in my postulant group (I also knew him for awhile before he became a monk, living near the Hwd. Temple). In other posts, depression has been mentioned as a correlate of SRF renunciate life. Speaking only for myself, I know that I was depressed before I became a monk, was depressed while I was a monk, and still battle this condition today. In my own case, I’m sure there was a connection between spiritual seeking, renunciation, and depression, but I cannot say that SRF caused my depression. Before I left the ashram, an incredibly kind brother (who has since left the ashram, too) counseled me in my decision to leave the ashram. I took my concerns to him and he was good. I also talked to Bro. Anandamoy. My own opinion: his natural aloofness (his formal training was in architecture, not a profession which draws many cruise director-types) may sometimes be mistaken for coldness; of course, I was not around long enough to have anything more than a casual acquaintance with him, but he treated me nicely, said he talked to Daya Mata about my wanting to leave and she agreed it was for the best. So I left. I was 25. My wonderful father had anticipated that I might not stay in the ashram for the rest of my life and had put some money away for me to have for a possible transition back into “the world.” I’m glad to hear that this transition has become a concern and that some are trying to help SRF monks re-enter life outside the ashram. It’s not easy and I wish I had sought more spiritual and emotional support. I knew Bro. Bhavananda before I became a monk, while he was still the minister for the Hwd. Temple. A wonderful, charismatic minister. We all loved him. I saw much less of him when I became a monk, although he was for a short time the novice counselor at MW then off to India. What became of a Brahmachari Peter? Anyone know? Did he take sannyas vows?
Been there Unregistered User (3/8/02 10:02 pm) Reply	to unmonked Is your depression better? Are you receiving adequate treatment? I ask because ashram life and SRF teachings in general would lead one to consider mental illness in a different light than "physical illness." The SRF tendency might be to just fight it with affirmation, etc. As you may know, this is not always the best way. If you are interested, you might check out this website: mindfixers.com. Books by Dr. Daniel Amen are also excellent.
Crog Unregistered User (3/9/02 6:03 am) Reply	Peter Peter did take the vows and is now Krypananda (spelling?). I am not sure what he does. He lives at Mother Center. Since he has survived in that disturbed place, there is some disappointing story involved. I believe he is generally considered a good guy and not part of the problem. He is probably just hiding out somewhere and considers himself in boys camp.
username Registered User (3/9/02 7:49 am) Reply	depression There was something on depression on cable a few nights ago. Some doctor is doing scans of brains that are depressed or have been depressed. He said that the brain receives some damage when depression occurs and if it is not treated there is more damage. and then recurrence occur more often in someone whose brain shows more damage. Unfortunately, I don't remember the show or station or time or date. There are many things that can contribute to depression: poor diet, parasites, toxic metals, yeast. Make sure you check out all these things before you tell yourself you have a mental illness. Freud and also seem to say something like that depression is due to no sex. Maybe it is due to noone loving you, holding you. anyway, maybe someone else knows what Freud really says the connection between sex and depression is. In SRF, the church unlike almost every other church, does nothing to organize a social life for its member. And if you are really following the SRF way of life , after a while you really do not fit into regular society all that well. This leaves the member with no support. Some people need their brain stimulated with new ideas, SRF prohibits reading outside literature. Some people need family life to be happy, but aren't there alot of non-married folks in SRF Some people need success in career to be happy, but if someone is doing all the SRF practices that they are told to do, do they really have time to focus on their career. SRF is most definitely NOT a balanced life. And I believe it leads to Unbalanced individuals.
unmonked Unregistered User (3/9/02 8:36 am) Reply	depression Thanks for your responses. I have been in and out of therapy for many years, and have received good treatment for clinical depression. I think that there are many factors, as cited by I think username, which contribute to clinical depression (as opposed to just feeling a little "down") within SRF. I just posted something on the "smile millionaire" phenomenon on the Core Issues board. In my own case, I believe that being in an SRF ashram simply "lit" my depression which had only been smoldering up until then. The problem is that there is no treatment other than spiritual effort when you are a monk. If that does not work, then you've got a "dark night of the soul" that must be up near the Arctic Circle because it's a night that never ends. Life is much better for me today, after almost 30 years out of the ashram: very happily married, a wonderful teenage daughter, and a rewarding job in the education profession. It took me a long time to ditch the idea that if you leave the ashram, you will be miserable.
Carbohydramoy Registered User (4/23/02 7:49 am) Reply	30 Years Ago I remember the class of '70/'71 well... Let's see... Jay Hyde (brother of Miles), Ben Bottillier, Ken ?, Patrick Kennedy, Craig Domigan, Paul Pressberger (brother of Lola), Felix (Jim) Ronayne, PT (Peter) Jardine, Dennis Duff, Larry Duff (Dennis' brother), Gilbert (Phil) Brown, Mike Occupinti (from New York), Mark (Bruce Funk), I think Reed Quillan (Jeff's brother) was there also. Any others come to mind?
unmonked Registered User (4/24/02 11:45 am) Reply	Re: 30 years ago Dear Carbohydramoy, Thanks for the memories! I'm sure we must know each other. Although this board supposedly cloaks one's identity, I suppose my few postings may have contained detail enough to remove the anonymous guise for a few--you perhaps being one. From what little I know of those you mentioned: Craig is still there (Mitrananda), Paul left, Felix died, Larry left, Gilbert left, Mike Occhipinti left, Reed left, Ben left, and P.T. is still there. The rest you mentioned I'm not sure about, although I was at least acquainted with them all. Others? Matthew (left), Ewing (Mac--left), Calvin ( Steve Aulman--left), Gordon (left), Chris Michaud (left), the list goes on. I lost touch with all of them and that has saddened me. When people talk about "a lot" of monastics leaving recently, I'm not sure what that means. There always seems to have been a huge attrition rate. It is not an easy life for a lifetime.
Carbohydramoy Registered User (4/30/02 10:36 am) Reply	Re: 30 years ago Bruce Funk left, Christ Michaud died, Mario Messina died, Patrick Kennedy left, Bruce Mars is Premananda, Jeff Quillan left, .... so many others come to mind ... Jason Johans, Capistran Sweeney, the Formasino brothers, Murray, Austin Will, even Freckles... Ah sweet memories. I still remember when Ronald Fisher put Devananda's (the original) car up on blocks so he couldn't drive it. Devananda got out to see what was wrong and couldn't figure it out....
Carbohydramoy Registered User (4/30/02 10:39 am) Reply	Re: 30 years ago ... and of course Pop Huebner, Mrs. Kushmal ("Floyd's the devil..."), etc....
crogman24 Registered User (5/1/02 6:39 am) Reply	Re: 30 years ago There should be a class reunion. People who graduate from High School get together once in a while to catch up and support each other. Why can't we? We have graduated from something like High School and grown past it, we should have reunions. They could be held the same week as Convocation in some other part of the world. I have found that many who leave are the more mature and healthy. It is good to be around a lot of people like that. Sharing experiences and wins and losses. Maybe a little meditation. We might even be able to organize to help others who are just busting out of "high school".
nisarga Registered User (5/1/02 10:14 pm) Reply	Re: 30 years ago This is my first post. I am an ex-monk of the class of '71. I came in May of 1971 and was in the ashram for almost 20 years. I would really like to get together with my old brothers!! I have tried to keep up with as many x's as I can find and that are willing to communicate. We mostly talk on the phone.I always felt a real special bond with my fellow monastics. To me it seemed similar to being in the military, like " Band of Brothers". I had the ideal of being a warrior monk not a monastic monk ( if you know what I mean). How to proceed for us to connect is my question??????
srfwalrus ezOP (5/2/02 5:32 am) Reply	Re: 30 years ago Click on the ID of the person in this list. If enabled in your profile you will then see a link for the person "send an email". This links sends an email to that person. It only tags the email with your Walrus name, not your real name (if you even have a real name). This might get things started. Nisarga's account does allow this.
redpurusha Registered User (5/2/02 6:55 pm) Reply	Re: 30 years ago Here's just a suggestion, www.classmates.com. Maybe one of you guys could set something up there. It could end up costing you some money, but if you can connect with one or two fellow ex-brother-monastics (or a whole class) that would be priceless!
Carbohydramoy Registered User (5/6/02 6:46 am) Reply	Re: 30 years ago I've enabled private email through Walrus. I'm curious as to which "old-timers" are out there.... I'll pass on addresses to others if you give me the ok to do so, and I'll respond, even if Bart and Omar chime in . . . (Just kidding, guys...)
unmonked Registered User (5/6/02 4:20 pm) Reply	Re: 30 years ago Thanks to Nisarga and Carbohydramoy for getting this communication thing happening. I opened up my e-mail, too, if anyone from my "class" (monk 1971-1974) would care to get in touch--or anyone else for that matter. I have no idea where this thread is headed, but it seems guided by a higher power. Thanks, Walrus!
Carbohydramoy Registered User (5/6/02 6:37 pm) Reply	Re: 30 years ago Well . . . I have now visited 2 old friends that I haven't heard from in years... Who else is out there? Drop me (or them) a line. Oddly enough, we don't bite . . .
Carbohydramoy Registered User (5/10/02 6:29 pm) Reply	Re: 30 years ago Unmonked... I got your email, but my reply back to you was returned. Please send me another with your email address. We know each other. Do you remember the "bird calls"?
nisarga Registered User (5/10/02 9:29 pm) Reply	Re: 30 years ago All you x-monks out there don't be shy. Send us an e-mail!!! No judgement or trips, just friendship and openness. Now is the time to come full-circle. Lets process, talk, rage or whatever. We are " big boys" now ( can you say half-century or more) and its time to" reach out and touch someone". We have learned a lot and all of us have a lot to share. We all have our own Self Realization. We all have our own story. We need to honor our Selfs, each other and our own process.
soulcircle Registered User (5/21/02 1:31 am) Reply	Re: 30 Years Ago...the class of 70/71 I thought maybe Ken.... was Ken Naysmith, who passed on from cancer in the 90's....but Ken Naysmith was prior to 70/71. Ken Naysmith went to Vietnam, married and practised as a clinical psychologist. Edited by: soulcircle at: 5/24/02 10:00:45 pm
soulcircle Registered User (5/31/02 9:29 pm) Reply	Responding to Crogman's 5/1 Posting Crogman, *Quote:* I have found that many who leave are the more mature and healthy. It is good to be around a lot of people like that. Sharing experiences and wins and losses. Maybe a little meditation. We might even be able to organize to help others who are just busting out of "high school". A former monk who left in the fall '01 (after being in the fear farm for several years) is in need of assistance, he has received a small check from my checking account as he shared his address. Prayers and more assistance would be a large help. Suggestions? <heypoet@aol.com> soulcircle
srfwalrus ezOP (6/1/02 5:09 am) Reply	Getting help for (ex) monastics and employees There is a group formed in the Los Angeles area specifically for this purpose. See geocities.com/tranassist/ You may also email the Walrus with specific needs if you know them. Please don't put his/her name and address on this board of course. Edited by: srfwalrus at: 6/1/02 5:09:59 am

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