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Rigiditananda
Unregistered User
(11/29/01 2:21 am)
Reply 		Ma's writtings
This is the beginning of a detail analysis of the language in our SRF teachings. Ma's writings are the most judgmental of all. So, I begin here presenting concrete examples from her writings. Ma's judgementality has pervaded all the lessons and books. Ma is a wonderful lady, possibly a great saint, but her writings are extremely judgmental and damaging too.

“The behavior of others SHOULD not be allowed to rob us of our peace of mind.” Daya Mata/Only Love/How to Change Others/ Page 47/ First line.

Then she keeps going in a very judgmental language explaining the issue -- loaded with other “SHOULDS” and “ALL NOTHING THINKING” -- please read that first paragraph.

Now, do you realize the caliber of the above “SHOULD.” Who is beyond offense from others? The way she presents this ideal is not conducive to healing but to increase suffering. Why? Very simple. The next time someone hurts you, on top of your hurt you will recall this “SHOULD” located now in your memory. And you will say to yourself -- “I SHOULD not feel hurt; what’s wrong with me?” So, you felt hurt and now on top of that you feel inadequate and guilty, and your self-esteem goes down.

The same ideal could be communicated in a non destructive way using the language of “basic psychology 2001.”

“The behavior of others affect us only through our own thoughts. If our thoughts stay objective and positive, despite vicious attack of others, in theory, no one could hurt us. Such is the wonderful power of your mind computer -- through our thoughts we can neutralize any painful external situation. However, the path to such perfect mind control is long and requires the right understanding of the mind and how it works. It requires the right techniques to deal with the distorted/negative thoughts that naturally arouse in the mind of normal human beings, under the fire of vicious criticism. In the meantime, when you feel the hurt, if you can not shake out the pain producing thoughts, go paradoxically -- embrace your feelings and thoughts fully. Talk to yourself in this way “ I accept this feelings, I accept these thoughts. Paramahansa Yogananda says that all feelings are Bliss, so this feeling is Bliss too.”

Let us look at a whole paragraph now. Notice the judgmental language she uses here:

Daya Mata/How to Change Others/ Page 48/Third Paragraph of that talk.

“Be an example of what you want others to be. If you are inclined to lose your temper and fight back or speak harshly; if you scold the children unreasonably; if you are nervous and easily upset, shouting and speaking unkindly -- change yourself! That is the best way to change those around you. It is hard to do but it can be done. One’s effort ‘SHOULD’ be directed toward making himself a person who is respected and looked up to; whose word carries weight. He ‘SHOULD’ speak from true wisdom and understanding, NEVER from anger, nervousness, jealousy, or desire to retaliate when hurt.”

Notice the following here:

1) How judgmental is the general tone
2) In one little paragraph we find two “SHOULDS” and one “NEVER”
3) Imagine a poor man with all those symptoms: inclined to lose his temper and fight back or speak harshly, to scold the children unreasonably, to be nervous and easily upset and to shout and speak unkindly. There are millions in those conditions and much worse. Thousands go to therapy because of problems like these -- and for much less than this too. Think how healing would be to say to such individual -- CHANGE YOURSELF! A therapist who shouts such a "SHOULD," may loose his/her license in the spot.

Don’t you realize dear Ma that these are symptoms of mental disorders? It can be depression, ADHD, an anxiety disorder, an impulse control disorder, and so on. And, these labels are also symptoms. Of what? Brain disorders! I suggest you Ma read the best seller “Change your brain change your life” by Daniel Amen -- it might change your mind very quickly!

4) So, this poor man, who is suffering from some or all of these problems, which could be you, dear reader, or me, or any devotee around the world, who is most probably affected by a brain disorder, the next time he gets angry will remember Ma’s sound advice and will say “Ok, I SHOULD NOT feel this -- this is wrong! Will that stop the feelings? -- of course not. So, in addition to his painful anger now he will be angry with himself -- guilt! See how irrational is all this advice based on SHOULDS AND NEVERS?

Conclusion: Please read the SRF lessons and books. Note the countless “SHOULDS,” “MUSTS,” “NEVERS,” “ALWAYS” and so on. Think of the effect that judgmental language creates in the poor devotee. Introspect and see how it has affected you. If this language didn’t affect you, is because you didn’t take it seriously -- it can not be otherwise. But, many do. Many,
many took and still take this language very seriously. And many got very sick as a result.

Dakota
Unregistered User
(12/30/01 2:03 am)
Reply 		Ma's writtings and speaches
Daya Mata’s language is more than judgmental. It’s definitely superior-inferior language, it’s arrogant. She does not miss an opportunity to talk down to us. Never with us. She makes statements like “I wise you could feel like I feel” This assumes that we are outside the circle that she is in. How totally disrespectful of others relationship to God.

Also notice that she speaks of her wishes and desires it is in third person. (Imitating Anandamoy Ma) Notice that all mistakes have occurred in the past. (She is perfect now) She never shares what she is learning now. (When one stops learning your in trouble)
Although she speak of her wishes and desires in third person, she will take credit for glory and position in first person. (Lack of consistency)

Daya Mata’s actions and language very strongly pointed and empowering only her, not you and me. She clearly does not recognize us as equals. One of the things I have notice by working with famous people in their fields. What they are doing they consider ordinary, although those around them consider what they do extraordinary. Thus one does not end up with superior-inferior dichotomy when working with them. It is really educating and enjoyable. One never has to pay homage to them. Daya Mata herself must feel very ordinary, for she goes to great lengths in the job of trying to make her image extraordinary.

KS
Registered User
(1/3/02 10:10 pm)
Reply 		Re: Ma's writtings and speaches
Actually, who sees Daya Mata these days? Even the last 10 years? We get to see a 20 minute televangelist-like talk at Convo sometimes, but where is the public seeing her? That is just the strangest thing to me. She hides from the members.

Even the president of the US, who actually has people trying to kill him, doesn’t hide from the public. The senior monks don’t hide from the public. Who hides without a reason?

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