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SRF Walrus > Core Issues > Is friendship wrong?
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Amidala of Coruscant Registered User (4/1/03 4:37 pm) Reply	Is friendship wrong? SRF DEVOTEES JUST DON'T CARE TO TALK!!!!!!THEY ALWAYS GOTTA RUN!!!! They act like it's such a sin if you call them just to say hi!!!! They only want people to call them if there's business to be done! I hear this from others too. Even on this board, everyone is secretive. Afraid of being discovered!!! By who??? Come on!! We're not a Nazi dictatorship here!!!!! Yes, we've experienced frustrations with MC but they are not a dictatorship either. I think it's us as individuals who have a problem. Silly things happen like a lady not ever being by friend again just because I didn't attend her Babaji commeration at HER house ( I didn't want to have to drive to my desert home late at night and open the gate by myself when snakes could be out) or some other artist lady telling me that she no longer wants to hang around me cause she's feeling bliss or another lady keeps telling me and making it a point to remind me how much she feels conncected with me and how she will "definitely will call me" (even though I never told her she needs to and never pushed it or brought up the subject but that I would be glad to talk since SHE offered) and never never does. It's like come on. If you SAY you're gonna call me, then discipline yourself enough to follow through with your actions and CALL ME. Stop saying week after week in your reverent tone of voice how you swear you will call me and never do. Stop saying you feel connected with me, devotee people, and all you ever ask me about is how I earn my living even though I made clear 100 times that I have other interests besides my work that I love to share. It's not a sin to have friends!!!!! Master wasn't like this! Why do we devotees always act like we have a chip on our shoulders like it's going to be a big deal if someone happens to disturb that chip!? What's it gonna matter 100 years from now! No wonder people are having problems in SRF! It's not Master's teachings. It's the way we behave with them! That's where the problem is. Fellowship should not be confined to going to potlucks and just saying Hi how's your work bye gotta run. We have too much of a hang up like OOOOHHH NOoooo! We can't do that!!! We can't be too personal! We need to "adapt" to society like those boring socials that people do in business parties making smalll talk. People might think we're in a cult. So we act like robots when we see other devotees!! Like someone's gonna discover us! Or MC won't approve or whatever! Then people freak out if someone wants to throw themselves down on the floor in front of Master's picture or sing a song to him in another language!!! Or if a couple of devotees sing a few bhajans, the committee decides to change the combination code on the temple lock!!! Isn't this a bit immature!? Some of us are still carrying it! Lighten up! Laugh with Master and stop wearing such a grim sour face! Come on, people!! Edited by: Amidala of Coruscant at: 4/2/03 5:38:51 pm
dawnrays Registered User (5/16/03 11:30 am) Reply	Re: Is friendship wrong? No, of course friendship isn't wrong. I seem to remember Master's quote something to the effect of it being the highest kind of relationship as it is completely voluntary. I made several very good friends and even met my husband in the xxxxxxx group on the east coast. It was a very close knit group, but we still had our problems. The group's meetings were endless, ineffectual and problematic because even at this distance, MC's influence could be felt. Some members seemed to want permission to do so much as move a picture and other sorts of ridiculousness. At one point, I happen to know that MC asked a very affluent , conservative couple from one of the west coast temples to move to the area and become involved in the group. This was of course very clandistine at the time and I only found out about this arrangement years later from the couple themselves (who seemed honestly baffled at this strange request, as they had never desired to live in this area and moved back to their previouse residence about 5 years later). This couple had a great influence. One became the coodinator and one or the other was always on the board; the other members being so impressed by their many years in srf and having been members of a temple. However, they were extremely conservative and by-the-book in the usual srf way. I also happen to know that in the srf Greenfield retreat in the Virginia countryside, MC installed one of the senior nuns there even though there was already an srf lay minister (probably the only one left). He was friends with and very much in tune with the devottees there, as were his saintly wife and daughters. I know for a fact that he had during his 40 years in srf, frequently written to and visited MC to complain that the lessons were inappropriate for householders and too geared towards monastics. This nun was to my memory, unusually rigid and by-the-book, even by srf standards. Anyway, we eventually made a move to SD and found the SD temple to be very unfriendly and even depressing. It was in fact only the murder-suicide of two very active married devottees that loosened things up. Some of the devottees managed to organize some support groups after this, but only to meet at people's homes. MC refused to allow us to "corupt" the temple by holding them there, even though it would have been more convenient for all. We were also not allowed to publicly announce these meetings with the service announcements and the temple did not allow a public bulliten board. (I personally campaigned for something as simple as this for many years, always to be politely, denied). Some members suggested having al-anon meetings at the temple, but this was (naturally) refused and not even addressed as a serious query. srf as an organization, does not give a darn about you or anybody. Many devottees have former substance-abuse problems and come from dysfunctional families. srf, believe me, takes full advantage of these things much as an evil person will take advantage of a weak one. Their main thrust is simply to make you feel inadequate. Part of the way they do this is a constant parade of srf "purity" (as in many nuns who have lived in the ashram since thier teens) as opposed to your "dirtyness". The ridiculous and false moral outrage and crucifixion of Kriyananda, their former "brother" is a perfect example. They have in fact corrupted themselves in doing this and lost their last shred of credibility, as far as I am concerned. Purity doesn't hide in the dark after oall and many more would see the light if they weren't trapped inside of this cult and uninformed or misinformed at every opportunity. The temples are constrained and hard to be around mainly because of the constant presence of the monks. It is a shame they are even called ministers, because they do not minister (they perform). They have no real authority and are powerless to make needed changes (even small and insignificant things are submitted to MC for approval, and most are denied.) Most of them do not have the degree of advancement or realization that you or I do (although it is constantly reinforced that they do.) MC has in fact (and I believe that Tara Mata was largely responsible for this) re-written Master's original teachings (please read his original writings from some other source than srf). He has stated very clearly in his writings his desire for spiritual colonies for householders. Indeed, he had apparently made some verbal statements (see yogananda rediscovered) as to the "higher path" being that of house holder yogi (more challenges, pitfalls, etc). If you give yourself over to this darker side (where I am convinced, Master is no longer present), you will certainly run the risk of compromising your character, identity and spiritual advancement. For myself, I have had direct and very definite spiritual guidence and intervention from our Master not to be involved in srf, except on the level of being informative to others and helping others (to leave, I suppose, or even rehabilitate). I don't think it's too much for a devottee to ask to have some fellowship with other kriyabans (I, too, love my kriya) minus the creepy, dark cloud of a "Mother" center hanging over our heads and coming in between us and our sadhanas. There is of course Ananda and other independent groups that meditate and do kriya but are not affiliated. Love, dawnrays Edited by: dawnrays at: 5/18/03 11:21:04 am
babaGEE Registered User (5/16/03 2:10 pm) Reply	Re: Is friendship wrong? I have experienced the same social atmosphere at The Lake Shrine. I supposed meditation isn't conducive to a social atmosphere. Members seem to fall into several categories. 1. Those who were there before the temple was built and wanted to be sure you knew it. They are the "entitled ones" 2. New people who didn't have a clue as to what was going on. 3. The "tourists" (The Lake draws them) 4. The people who attended Sunday service but didn't volunteer or get involved. Each Sunday you get the 5 minute intro to meditation speech, the sales pitch for the Lessons and then the PR announcement about how we are such a "family" and growing which didn't seem apparent in my eyes. The "family" consists of the 200 volunteers comprised of group number 1. and 2. I became a volunteer to serve but also wanted to get to know the members and make friends. That's when all was revealed... the politics, the egos, the kaos, the secrecy, the lack of management, the lack of social skills, old volunteers who's self importance is tied to how many committees they have worked on, the fighting and the lack of LOVE. I found that I could not have a conversation with a devotee unless it was about SRF or volunteering. I was asked FOR THE PURPOSE OF REALIZING MASTER'S PLAN to do a lot of very unreasonable, costly, time consuming projects which I turned down. My refusal was not met with understanding but with utter disapproval. I felt like this was a cult or that the people were really unbalanced. Evidently, I was told that a lot of people just get tired of this atmosphere and leave, thus the no apparent growth in the members. I was told there was about 3,000 members between the Lake, Hollywood and Encinitas, however I don't know if this is true. It's really not a big number. There are only about 3 years of sermons and then they are repeated. I have gotten tired of hearing the same old thing so have stopped attending. Members have tried many times to create more social events, etc. for the volunteers, but because there is so much work to do at the Lake and such confusion and politics, people would never get off the subject of SRF. My opinion is that these people don't have a life so SRF fills a void. I agree that the closer you get to Mother Center the more unfriendly the climate. The negative energy just radiates. The old "trickle down theory" applies here. It all starts at the TOP.
dawnrays Registered User (5/17/03 9:43 am) Reply	Re: Is friendship wrong? I hear you. Is there anything that would prevent devottees from just taking their own initiative to start their own little groups (not affiliated w/ MC of course?) I have heard that some ex-srf's have done that in my area (Kitsap County, across the sound from Seattle). We go to Ananda now in Seattle but it's a commute or a ferry ride so still I'd like to find out who they are. One could advertise and such. Now that srf has lost thier law suit (and ridiculed themselves in the eyes of the world). I don't think we need fear that copyright infringement or whatever they're so hot (jealouse?) about. This would be particularly essential for the ex-monastics who seem to be particular targets of srf (barred from participating in services, talking openly and other such cultish nonsense). ex-srfers seem to be so quiet and just drift away (shamed by MC?) Love, dawnrays Edited by: dawnrays at: 5/17/03 8:20:46 pm
crogman1 Registered User (5/17/03 12:14 pm) Reply	Re: Is friendship wrong? Ex-SRF people are often turned of by organizations and many turn their backs on God and Master. One of the great sins of the cult SRF has become is their turning people away from God by their behavior. SRF pretends to be the greatest. Once the devotee finds out how corrupt the greatest is, they are turned off by the whole idea.
dawnrays Registered User (5/17/03 8:29 pm) Reply	Re: Is friendship wrong? I agree. It's a terrible shame and it breaks my heart. Part of the horrible brainwashing process is that they insist on identifying the two (teachings or organization) as if they were mutually dependent on each other and YOU ON THEM, of course. Even more tragic, is using Master's beautiful teachings to draw people in. The control is so subtle, if someone were to have told me that I was in a cult just a year ago, I would have been very insulted and defended srf. Alas, they are not worth defending. "The stone which the builders rejected has become the corner stone for my church" could well apply here (as to Ananda and other independent Yogananda groups). Also, when God shuts a door, he always opens a window! dawnrays Edited by: dawnrays at: 5/17/03 11:36:19 pm
soulcircle Registered User (5/17/03 10:27 pm) Reply	we met today in the bay area, in berkeley Yes dawnrays, *Quote:* Is there anything that would prevent devottees from just taking their own initiative to start their own little groups (not affiliated w/ MC of course?) permit me this quote from your post dawnrays, and accept my appreciation for your insight and feeling. meet, have music fellowship and friendship, we do!! Dave heypoet@aol.com Edited by: soulcircle at: 5/17/03 10:30:43 pm
soulcircle Registered User (5/17/03 10:32 pm) Reply	babaGEE HI you sound like one of life's dancers in mischief, wonder and beauty soulcircle
babaGEE Registered User (5/19/03 9:41 am) Reply	Hi Everyone Hi Soul circle, Nice to meet you and everyone. I am a seeker of truth so I am so happy to have found this board. It's difficult for me to log on so I won't be posting much. I believe in enjoying life while I am here which doesn't seem to resonate with most of the other devotees I've met. Monks at the Lake openly say from the podium why would any one want to come back to this world, as if it's a horrible place, which just goes to prove they are depressed. Yes, there are small groups. People do get together but from my experience it is the same old thing. Die hard devotees want to discuss what they think is right....how often you should have sex, you shouldn't go to another church, (Excuse me, SRF is a church for all religions? Mother Center celebrates Christmas?) You shouldn't express affection in front of the monks, (hand holding and affectionate kissing is frowned upon) Shoulda, Shoulda, Shoulda! After many years of attending, I still don't know who these people really are except for how many committees they are on. It's a dysfunctional family and those who don't want to belong just leave.
Amidala of Coruscant Registered User (7/1/03 5:57 pm) Reply	Re: Is friendship wrong? Hi Dawnrays Thank you for all your support and understanding. You understand exactly where I'm coming from and it is interesting how you share that Master himself guided you to stop fussing over SRF. I've been struggling for 10 years with this and then I realize that I'm just banging my head on a door that will never open (regarding the outer social aspect) and I could be banging till I'm blue in the face and still I'm gonna be friendless if I don't stop it---so I started doing special activities I've always wanted to do that are very spiritual to me even though SRF would really look down on them. I never knew a friend I could just call to say hi since the beginning of my college years when I started SRF. Now I've been making wonderful friends. I met my very best friend in my Egyptian dance class. Wow, I'm sure glad I had sense to go there instead of continuing to go to Service days. Yes, Kriya is so wonderful. If you wouldn't mind, please could you share a little bit of what Master said to you regarding playing hookey from the temple? My friend is so devoted and left before I did. I was smart never to get too emotionally caught up, and the reason he left is because he loves Kali Ma very much and wants to worship Her instead of only praying to the SRF gurus. I know a devotee who was a kriyaban and left SRF and he now is the co founder of the Ancient Egyptian path called Nuhati which I also am into. Singing their mantras work nicely with kriya and maybe SRF devotees think I'm way off the path but I feel closer to the Lord this way and my kriyas are still working even when I prefer to sing other songs and mantras instead of having it always shoved down my throat that I should only sing cosmic chants primarily. I'm a born musician. No way can I feel inspired to stick with plain English chants in the blue book. And your post about the suicide. Shouldn't that put up enough flags for the monastics to reach out more? I never go to temple anymore and I know that no one cares if I do. It's nice to meet each one of you. You all seem like very sincere devoted kriyabans Thank you to each one of you who posted here.

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