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Devotee1970
Registered User
(1/10/02 1:49 pm)
Reply 		Another Modest Proposal
Since my first modest proposal has apparently, and probably fittingly, found it's final resting place with an inside joke that I haven't been around here long enough to understand, here's some more truly "modest" proposals for making things better at the SRF that I'm sure will really work!

1) Construct a giant, building sized astrological bangle and put it around Mother Center headquarters.

2) Start a nationwide "Sponsor a Monk" program. Do you know that for less than the price of a cup of coffee each day, you could provide a monk with adequate food, clothing, clean drinking water and other basic life necessities?

3) Continue to donate money to the Mother Center . . . but reduce the amount to 10 cents per year and specify that the entire dime be used ONLY to fund lawsuits against non-SRF kriyabans and others genuinely seeking self-realization.

4) Try to soften the SRF's image by changing the Mother Center's name to the "Mommy Center."

5) Add a smiley face to the SRF logo (without making any copyright claim to the smiley face in general).

6) Urge Amnesty International to write letters on behalf of repressed monastics and other SRF prisoners of conscience (or is that prisoners of consciousness?).

7) Love them, laugh at them, love ourselves, laugh at ourselves, enjoy the ride.

Any other suggestions along these lines?

Devotee1970
Registered User
(1/10/02 5:31 pm)
Reply 		Rumors
By the way, I think most of us have rejected the theory that Master fathered a child, but there are some other rumors floating around that I think need to be addressed. I have been able to personally confirm the following:

1) The Mother Center has NOT paid the Mormon Tabernacle Choir an undisclosed sum of money to record country versions of Master's chants.

2) Master's favorite breakfast food was NOT CoCo Pebbles.

3) When you play "O God Beautiful" backwards, it does NOT say, "The walrus was Paul," and then go on to give instructions for making a lovely potato and cauliflower curry.

4) The Mother Center has NOT hired Keith Richards to play the starring role in the the film version of "Autobiography of a Yogi."

5) There IS smog in southern California, and there IS fog in northern California, but there are beautiful stretches of coastline in both places.

I hope this will put everyone's minds at ease.

Love all. "Only love" -- someone's got to do it; why not let it be you!

Edited by: Devotee1970 at: 1/11/02 6:54:08 am
AcctFriend
Unregistered User
(1/11/02 7:35 am)
Reply 		Rumors - get the @#%$ right!
SRF didn't replace a little pc-based accounting system with a system costing $10,000,000. (The amount is much higher than that now)

SRF didn't have an outside Accounting System professional consultant, which the SRF Accounting department hired themselves, tell them they could replace their multimillion dollar accounting system with a simple product like Microsoft Money and have it work just as well. (The consultant said Quick Books which cost a few dollars more)

Crog
Unregistered User
(1/19/02 10:44 am)
Reply 		Sponsor a Monk
I love the sponsor a monk program! That is really funny. We could have a tree at Christmas time at the temples with their names and pictures.
Quote:
Little Br. Jeffy needs new shoes and $4 for a movie would be great. His counselor says he needs a new hair shirt and brown socks.

We could also start the same thing for the expensive consultants. For just a $1000/day, hardly the amount spent at your local Starbucks for an hour, you can support one of the wonderful consultants helping SRF.
Quote:
Consultant Jasmine needs a new BMW SUV and a new cell phone. Her second home also needs paint. The SRF BOD suggests you also consider large cash donations.

The really weird thing is that $1000/day is less than they make!

username
Registered User
(1/19/02 5:05 pm)
Reply 		Re: consultants
You must understand that the consultants do not earn that amount an hour, their owners (Big 5 partners) do. And let it be noted that the Big 5 do not care at all about non-profit clients. so the consultants that they are sending over to work at SRF are their stupid ones. The smart employees of a Big 5 will only take client jobs where the client will eventually hire them ( for lots of money of course.) Clients like Enron.
The Big 5 Partners have huge egos. They believe they are smarter than any of their clients are. As a group, there is a huge percentage of two-faced back stabbers that work there. Those employees that are not two-faced back stabbers don't last (cause someone stabs them deeply)
They manipulate the clients to pay them huge fees. They push every kind of consulting service possible on their client, that's how they make their money. Now, if you are a SEC client, you are forced to use one of a small number of firms that do SEC work and are large enough in staff and have offices in countries where you have subsidiaries.
But if you are a non-profit, you usually don't need a Big 5 to do your audit. (Sometimes, banks require Big 5 audits as a loan requirement - I do not know if this is the case with SRF)
Most churches will throw as much audit work to their members as they can . Most churches have CPAs as members.
Some churches, however, don't want their members to know their finances, so they make sure none of their members that are CPAs are ever hired. Kinda makes you wonder doesn't it.

Accountant
Unregistered User
(1/19/02 5:36 pm)
Reply 		Re: Consultants
The full-time thieves at SRF are all independent. Some of them used to be with Ernst & Young, but left when they saw the gold mine. They get every penny of what they bill, which is between $150 and $200 per hour.

E&Y also bills for as much as they can, and although they know the independents are incompetent, they don't blow the whistle because they line each others' pockets. The bad ladies in the center keep all this going to maintain control, and to prevent their own incompetence from being publicized. The BOD are themselves incompetent, and their paranoia prevents them from executing proper governance and stewardship of Master's money and work.

But they are divinely guided. Wish I could use that excuse.

Tusker
Unregistered User
(1/19/02 6:54 pm)
Reply 		Re: Consultants
Accountant is correct. The consultants on the SRF PeopleSoft project are independent and getting the kind of money he describes.

Thanks, 'username', for the description of life and politics at the Big 5 accounting firms. This is exactly the kind of power politics these consultants brought into the SRF environment, working with the innermost circle of bad ladies. Those who saw through them, and opposed them, immediately found themselves fighting for their lives, drowning in a torrent of public stroking and private, behind the scenes backstabbing.

At first it was puzzling: why did SRF "management" allow this to go on. Finally it became clear: the conultants fit right in; this was nothing new, simply the way the innermost circles at SRF operate.

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