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Raja Begum
Unregistered User
(9/3/01 1:07 am)
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Sleepers Awake!
A friend of mine once said that SRF is moving into its teenage years. For us, that means it is now time we learn how to become differentiated as individuals, to become aware of the ways in which we subject ourselves to the control of other limited human beings and use them as focal points on which our need-for-comfort fantasies can be projected. It is only natural in an imperfect world that we should be disappointed by our grandiose expectations. And the more idealisitic one is, the more one can become bitter upon recognition of unclean facts.

We all came to SRF for similar reasons. First, we were touched by many inner experiences and synchronistic events which made it clear that we had found a path back home. We recieved techniques and inspiration from our guru through an organization known as Self-Realization Fellowhip. Certainly many exisential needs were satisfied through what we've been given. And most of us, having a stupendous hunger for companionship (com pan = "to break bread with"), found satisfaction the moment we stepped onto temple grounds and dicovered hundreds of people who thought just like us. SRF became the family we never had, the home we never had. And year after year, ministers reinforced that sentiment with the ubiquitous slogan: "SRF is your family."

And then we woke up, like a character in a Kafka story, only to discover we had left one dysfunctional family to join another. Should we be angry?

I'll speak for myself. Of course I'm angry. Thoroughly pissed to the core that SRF, whose expressed purpose is for consciousness-raising, is controlled by people who are committing the most unconscious acts of hurt against its own members. Naturally, I've had some exotic ranting sessions..."The dirty f#$@ bastards!!" etc. etc. When I left the organization, it felt refreshing to be on the outside because, quite honestly, I felt I had become an incurable social idiot due to my association with SRF. I had become a disowned self, fearful of the world (God's world) and mistrustful of mine or anyone else's humanity (God's creatures). Later I was to hear comparative horror stories such as we're reading on this site. My heart was broken. "How could I have given my life to this?" I thought.

Behind all its calculated postures and saccharine smiles, Mother Center is hiding a huge shadow. Make no mistake about it. Attention must be paid. Unless this shadow is brought into the light, many more lives will be used up and tossed away without remorse. Principles are at stake. Do you think you can thrive in an organization which teaches the Truth but doesn't practise what it preaches? Do you think you will get to God by supporting hypocrisy? Did Jesus support the well-intentioned Phillistines? This, my friends, is a call to duty. If you believe in principles, you cannot allow abuses in your spiritual familiy any more than you would in your government. The founding fathers of this country wouldn't tolerate it. Why should you?

Anger and bitterness are not the goal. But they can be wonderful emotional tools to rouse us from the perils of self-denial. You have every right to be upset with Mother Center. They are conducting their affairs like a medieval feudal kingdom while the rest of the civilized world is making an attempt to adjust to the 21st century Dwapara Yuga. Shame on us if we carry on pretending not to see it.

Our guru was not fond of organizations. He viewed them problematically but as necessary hubs where truthful ideas could be disseminated. He put a lot of work into getting this organization off the ground. We can serve it and nurture it as he did. But first we must drive the money-changers out as Jesus did in the Jerusalem Temple. We must demand a full accountability of how it spends its money and a full disclosure of who is in charge and what they're doing. Think of the dangers in 200 years if SRF does get bigger and there are no checks and balances. No checks and balances in the Dwapara Yuga! Inexcusable.

Are we fearful? In membership, the organization called SRF is a piece of sand on the cosmic beach. You only fear it because you have made it powerful in your own minds. Suppose they do blacklist people. Do you want to give your remaining life to an organization who would be treacherous to its members, who would consciously devalue the rational queries of its members? I suppose what we fear are law suits. Through legal hired guns, SRF is certainly capable making its "enemies" bleed through the spiritual eye. Which makes me wonder: how did Daya Mata ever become known as the "Mother of Compassion"?

Are you, a child of the Infinite, willing to subordinate that miraculous faculty of reason given to you by none other than God, to surrender your perceptions, your authenticity, and your uniqueness under the pretense and fantasy of being loyal? If you were truly loyal, you would not have the heart to watch the "child" of our Master's genius be distorted by a bunch of uneducated, sheltered nuns with samskaric tendencies towards ruling over and attracting people who wish to be infantilized under the pretense of obedience.

You don't fear the organization; you fear what life might be like if you finally shed your dependencies and had to face life with nothing but your faith and self-realized convictions.

This finally, I realized, is the true source of my anger: that I had betrayed my own perceptions and my own autonomy when I became an obediently unquestioning little devotee.
Reason is our greatest survival tool. Yet I surrendered my reason and my perceptions. I'm mad at myself for this more than I'm mad at SRF for being stuck in the mud of archetypal stupidity.

SRF is a fallible organization which needs serious correction. But so do most institutions. We've naively expected (and the PR reinforces it) that SRF should be an organization which flies in the face of worldly standards, a supposed bastion of the dawning spiritual age, and an example of right living for the rest of the world. In fact, though the spiritual message of our guru is very pure, in many ways SRF has become as petty and worldly as any other organization out there. They've maintained their image as perfect angels who can do no wrong, and most devotees I know want to hold onto this infantile fantasy for reasons God only knows why.

The organization, like a calculator, is there to help us do the math. It is not a substitute for our thinking. And if a calculator is creating errors, isn't it foolish to go on using it just because its all we've got? Here's what I think: We could chuck the calculator and solve all the problems by ourselves; or we could have the calculator repaired; or we could continue using the calculator and ignore the multitude of errors it proliferates.

Likewise, in SRF you have 3 choices:

1) Walk away. Live with God in your heart. Maybe meet up other ex-SRF'ers.

2) Stay with the organization. But demand full accountability from the Board of Directors.

3) Remain passive and live your sadhana as a bewildered simpleton.

Okay, my bitch-and-moan session is over....and boy did it feel good. Love to all. Even to those f#$@ bastards at Mt. Washington who have spoiled my infantile dream of utopia on earth.

I leave you pondering the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson:

"Who is he that shall control me? Why may not I act and speak and write and think with entire freedom? What am I to the universe, or, the universe, what is it to me? Who hath forged the chains of wrong and right, of Opinion and Custom? And must I wear them?"


xmonk
Unregistered User
(9/3/01 6:39 am)
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Sleepers Awake
I have this to say to Raja Begum. "BRAVO" "A Breath of fresh air!" Thank you for saying it like it is!

Myth
Unregistered User
(9/3/01 7:15 am)
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Great Note
I like your option 2,
Quote:
2. Stay with the organization. But demand full accountability from the Board of Directors.

Only because it keeps others from going through the same things so many have already. I am seeing so many suffering with Post-SRF Syndrome, even those still there, and I feel it would be worthwhile to prevent others from going through the same thing. The trouble is how? Letter writing campaigns are easily ignored, but might help if done well. Or a full featured website on the truth with helpful aids for those thinking of getting more involved with SRF? Does someone know how letter writing campaigns might be setup to be effective?

We have the DIF website, and now the Friends of SRF :-), but neither help a person thinking of committing time, effort, career, or money to SRF. Some, learning the truth, may still choose to become part of it, but they should know what they are getting into at least. How do we get this information to those who need it? How do we better advertise this board?

Gandhi
Unregistered User
(9/3/01 8:50 am)
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Who is ready?
I have been reading this board, waiting to see if any posts would come around to this realization.

How many are willing to do the hard work required to foster positive change? It will mean sacrifice: you will be attacked and defiled. It will get worse and worse, before it gets better. Just look back to our campaign to remove the British from India. You will not be physically attacked (I don't think!) but will be in every other way. The deluded souls in charge of SRF have nothing but their position and power and will do anything to keep it.

I am willing to lead; who is willing to join? Many of us have already sacrificed greatly in the attempt to point out the reality, only to find most of our "friends" and almost every monastic turning a blind eye and a deaf ear.

I am willing to publicly identify myself and plan organized activities, for the rest of my life, if I can be convinced that anyone would join me, with the same committment.

Roger
Unregistered User
(9/3/01 9:45 am)
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Act
I am a coward to some degree. I didn’t do anything for years and fear that if we do something publicly it would result in very real material loss as I know that SRF would hunt us down and sue us until we were completely broke. If we speak the truth here, that is one thing. We next need a clearer goal and steps people can take.

I agree it is time to act. But we have a powerful dark cloud over SRF, and it wants to stay. Let’s have a plan. How can we setup something all of us can use to discuss things where SRF/Legal can’t see it?

The Viceroy
Unregistered User
(9/3/01 10:05 am)
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Note to Gandhi
How nice for us, our unknown leader senses that the time might be approaching to declare himself. The grand moment we all have been waiting for? I hardly think so. What a shame to have a post like this on the same page as Raja Begum’s wonderful message.

Gandhi, wake up and get a life. You seem to be steeped in the same delusions as the people in charge at SRF. Real leaders lead. Period. They don’t wait to see who will join them. That’s called following.

And you are kidding yourself and others if you think you can gather a following and ride to the rescue of SRF. They don’t want to be rescued. Unfortunately, there are still plenty of people who need to go through the organizational experience and learn the lessons inherent in it. We can’t help that, but we can generate open discussion of the problems so that those who are open to the discussion can take part.

I, for one, do not want or need another organization to take on the one I have already had such a disillusioning experience with. That’s SRF vs. Ananda vs. SRF vs. Ananda … all over again. Why would we want to do that? Have we learned what we need to learn or not? Do we need yet another cause other than our own Self-realization. Are we saying we still need organization to find God?

Read Raja Begum’s post again. I think you may have missed the point.

LittleG
Unregistered User
(9/3/01 10:28 am)
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to Viceroy
I think the Gandhi post is from someone who wants to do something to prevent others, like us, from getting hurt and to give SRF a better chance at short term success. Not to destroy SRF, but to get it back on track.

I understand this is difficult and can easily end up with the Ananda vs SRF experience. Of course SRF would try to push it to look like that.

Neo
Unregistered User
(9/3/01 10:48 am)
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Thanks to Raja Begum
Raja Begum, thanks for posting your thoughtful message. I love the quote from Emerson. We all need to awaken from our sleep of ignorance and our delusions of glory in organizations.

We are all in different stages of Post-SRF syndrome, and it really helps to read other survivors’ perspectives. As the world transitions into a higher age, many people will go forward. Others will cling to the darkness of the past and refuse to see a higher way. SRF “leadership” will remain stuck in Kali Yuga thinking for quite some time. We all need to see that and accept it for what it is.

The longer I am away from SRF, the more I see my inner strength returning to the fore, and the more I feel the inner conviction of fearlessness and security in my personal, inner relationship with God. It’s amazing how SRF has the power to take that away from people, power we each gave them when we “bought in” to whatever degree to their false and dogmatic assertions of “channel,” “Divine hierarchy,” abusive training, “us against them” thinking, etc.

I understand, on a theoretical level, the three choices you have so clearly outlined. In my experience, there is only one way to live your integrity in that environment:

1) Stand for principle, and demand accountability from those in authority at SRF. They hate this above all else, and will launch a psychological attack on you with utter ruthlessness.

2) If and when you can’t take the psychological abuse any more, and believe me, they are masters at tearing people down to their level, walk away knowing you have done everything you could do to try to help the situation. Continue to demand accountability from SRF in whatever way you can.

Hadit
Unregistered User
(9/3/01 11:37 am)
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sleepers
I am seeing things, here, that are difficult for me to understand. Surely, those of you who think you can change SRF can't be serious. It just ain't gonna happen! It reminds me of those who clung to the Titanic, thinking there was safety there. As Raja Begum wrote: "Wake up!"

His course No.1 is a rational path. We are loved unconditionally by God and we simply need no organization to get us to Him. If God is love, how can you expect these people who don't know the meaning of the word to help you spiritually? Focus on prayer and meditation for your guidance and relationship to God.

KS
Unregistered User
(9/4/01 6:51 am)
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Great Message Raja
Great message Raja. I hope you stick around and contribute some more. It sounds like you have thought things out pretty well and can help some people with your insights.

Crog
Unregistered User
(9/8/01 5:51 am)
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to Raja Begum
Great note. thanks for taking the time

NewzBoy
Unregistered User
(11/30/01 8:15 pm)
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Question
Let's say we take option #2. What would that entail?

premdas
Registered User
(12/9/01 2:33 am)
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Re: Accountability
The only time/opportunity I can think of to hold BOD accountable is during Convocation, making all levels of attendees aware at the same time without the BOD being able to distort and discredit behind the scenes. Seek clarity. You can't change the Directors nor their org culture politely from within, nor talk to them as equals from without. I know many people who have tried to dialogue, have pleaded, litigated, and prayed for and with them. These individuals were treated poorly, to say the least! I know people today who have appealed behind the scenes to the leadership to awaken to their responsibilities as Yogananda's elder disciples entrusted with his words, works and lives of his chelas; you should see the tone of the leadership's responses! For shame! "Only Love...."? Mother of Compassion? And the aspursions and mockery they've abetted towards those who were wanting to help.... At this juncture, the freeing of Yogananda's original teachings must come from outside the present SRF structure. Our own liberation depends upon it. Be spiritual warriors; if you all believe what we're all writing in these forums, then act - fight the battle - take these issues to the sidewalks around Convocation! At the gates of the temples! Do it in principle and in dignity; stay centered in the guru and Love. Why not chant our beloved songs? They're powerful! We saw Master's other group get their issues into the public forum, into the minds and hands of those attending the week at the Bonuventure. Many gurubais were awakened to the problems we are discussing here. Frankly, many will probably choose to look the other way and therefor they join current Leadership in being irrelevant to what we need to say (we can still be respectful and compassionate towards them and their pursuit of this path). The Board is like the blind Ditirastura (sp?) in the Mahabharata, who has chosen to see nothing and therefore lead/do nothing. Therefor, fight the battle! Take it to the streets; maybe a newspaper-like handout with many of these writings (and others) featured, with references to this Board. Like any movement, you will be scorned and ridiculed, and even by those you want to love (Didn't Jesus say something about this?). "None can atone me, say who would injure me!" Swami Ram Tirtha's (Fight) Song, in
Cosmic Chants. Don't forget the power of Kriya meditation, attunement and devotion to the Guru! Om

KS
Registered User
(12/9/01 9:23 am)
Reply
Burning Bush
I for one am not sure what I would protest. I believe the message I am reading out of all these problems is that SRF is trying to be more than God intended it to be. It is not supposed to be a big central organization deciding what people can chant, how volunteers should dress, who can attend events, and the one true channel of Master’s.

Master IS running the show and he is very clearly showing all of us as well as the bad ladies that this is NOT his plan for the little group he started. They are out of line.

All this opposition is not because evil will always fight against their ultimate goodness. I am so tired of that excuse for all their troubles! SRF’s problem is that it is not following Master’s will. Master is telling them to wake up. How does SRF think Master would tell them they are on the wrong track? A message in a burning bush? How about employees ending up hospitalized due to stress, or an Internet bulletin board like this one?

Trying to reach the BOD is not going to be productive. I feel they are beyond help. They have rationalized their actions and set themselves up in a situation where they are accountable to no one. They won’t even come to convocation if there is going to be any trouble, like this year. So I don’t think the focus should be on the bad ladies.

What we can do is keep more people from being hurt and more people who find Master from getting discouraged and leaving him. We have to help people see that SRF (at least currently) does not represent Master well and therefore they should not get too close. It is a fine and dangerous line since we don’t want to discourage people from following Master, but that is our line.

We can also provide a forum for people who have gotten to close to the flame and gotten burned. I know dozens, myself included. There are many walking dead out there. Imagine the blessing of helping some of them recover, even providing a little help, and getting them on the road to a productive relationship with Master again. Allowing people to talk and debate here might help a few people.

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