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Ramsses II
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(10/18/05 8:11 pm)
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Ayahuasca
adastra: Here in Vancouver it is easy to get the materials to make ayahuasca, the potent plant based brew used by indigenous people in the amazon for millennia for healing and spirit journeys. However, wanting to go closer to the source for my introduction to this plant teacher, recently I traveled with two close friends to attend an ayahuasca retreat in Peru.

The retreat took place at the Corto Maltés Amazonia Lodge, on the banks of the Madre de Dios River. We were surrounded by the amazon rain forest, with its amazing diversity of plant and animal life. Being away from the stress and distractions of modern life was healing in itself and definitely enhanced the experience. There were no media available during the retreat, and not knowing what was happening in the outside world helped me to realize that everything important was happening right there – it was the inner work we were doing that really mattered.

The ayahuasca experience itself is hard to describe. It felt something like dreaming or dying. The ayahuasca session is a crucible in which psychological and spiritual processes occur at a much greater level of intensity than is typical in everyday life, enabling one to learn rapidly and deeply about life, mind, relationships and spirit.

Members of the group reported a wide variety of experiences. Some people had visions, for others the trip mostly involved their thought processes or emotions. One person felt she was dying, surrounded by white light, her body dissolving into nothingness. Another reported feeling enlightened in the present moment, for the first time – after years of serious Zen meditation. A few people battled inner demons in one way or another. One person felt that ayahuasca was essentially an artificial alteration of his perceptions, though most people felt that ayahuasca revealed deeper truths about life. Each person had a unique experience, in fact each session for each person was unique.

We did three sessions altogether. Each time we would gather in the dining area of the retreat center, with a pillow, blanket, water, and whatever else we would need for the overnight session. We would walk together down a dark path into the forest, lit by small torches about every two to three meters. We gathered in a special building used only for ayahuasca sessions. Diego, the leader of the group, would say some prayers, and then one by one we would go to him to receive the medicine. When the ayahuasca started to take effect, Diego would begin to chant and play his guitar. His beautiful chanting was very soothing and centering, and was a valuable and helpful part of the sessions.

For me ayahuasca brought up whatever I needed to experience in the present moment. I found it to be a very harsh teacher. Whenever I tried to resist what was being shown to me, the experience would become more intense and unpleasant – one of the central lessons for me is that it is better to let go, to surrender to the experience.

Some concepts that I had understood in an abstract way I experienced at a much deeper level. One of these concepts is impermanence. I had grasped that concept on a superficial intellectual level, but didn’t really understand it. During my first and third ayahuasca sessions, I entered into states of intense suffering that I was absolutely convinced would never end – even death would not release me. Yet those states did pass.

At another point I found myself spontaneously breathing out love into the world. It was a subtle experience but very distinct. This is something I had practiced in the past, but which I hadn’t really felt before. What had been an intellectual exercise before became an experiential reality during the ayahuasca session. Since then I’ve occasionally been able to practice this technique and genuinely feel it.

Ayahuasca also helped me to see that a great deal of what I experience is a projection of my mind, which interferes with my ability to see the world – inner or outer – with clarity. I had read and thought about being centered and experiencing the moment as it is, without trying to grasp or resist. Under the influence of ayahuasca, this quality of mind is vitally important, and I believe I am now more capable of being that way in daily life.

In the second session one of my friends was having a very intense, difficult time, and at one point all of us gathered around her and were chanting to her. It felt wonderful to be part of a circle of caring, giving love and attention to a friend in need. During the first session I had a difficult time, and others helped me; now I found myself on the other side of that equation and it felt wonderful to take that role for her.

During the third experience, when I was suffering intensely regarding karma from past actions - basically feeling emotions I needed to feel but had always avoided - I feel I was "burning karma" at that time, doing some of the suffering I needed to do. I feel clearer now, as if my karmic load has lightened a bit. (For those who prefer psychological jargon: I achieved a cathartic release of repressed emotion.)

No matter how difficult the session was, when the effects started to wear off – when I was no longer tripping – I felt happy and centered. So glad to be alive, to breathe, to be in this space with people I love. This, for me, is a wonderful aspect of the ayahuasca experience. First I go through the difficult part, then I feel wonderful – it’s the exact opposite of taking a drug, feeling good for a while, then experiencing some sort of hangover.

It seems to me that the best way to do ayahuasca is in this sort of ritual setting. The medicine can teach a lot about relationships, and how to give and receive love. Sharing the experience with my fellow travelers afterwards was as significant as the ayahuasca session itself. The chanting and singing was an important part of it and the opening and closing of the ceremony helped to put the experience in context.

I believe that ayahuasca, used properly, can be a catalyst to accelerate personal and spiritual growth. You still have to go through your process, but this medicine can speed things up. It shows you what you need to work on and puts you in a state where you can do some intense learning. Ayahuasca, in my experience, works very well in the context of an ongoing spiritual practice such as meditation.

I would recommend the ayahuasca experience to anyone who is seriously interested in spiritual or psychological work. More information about the particular retreat that I attended may be found at www.ayahuasca-wasi.com.

Teresa: Ok Adastra, Here it is:
My only experience of psychodelics was with Ayahuasca. At first I cried a lot but it wasn't out of pain it just seemed to be an emotion coming out of somewhere as if had been stored for years and now it was finding its way out. After that, it was the most amazing thing I've ever experienced... Love everywhere, inside-out, upside-down. I attended this session with my mom and my sister, I was lying down between the two of them, at one point I felt like holding hands with them (still lying down) and after a while we seemed to have melted into each other, there was no telling where one hand ended and the other one started. Then I clearly remember feeling as if liquid extremely bright light was being poured onto my chest area and making its way to the rest of my body and to my mom and sister through my hands, it lasted for a long time. Then my mom and my sister held hands too and that seemed to complete this circle of light, (I felt as if I was their mom (mom soul?) they felt the same way. We stayed like that. I was in complete pure absolute exasis, no visions, no thoughts, no emotions, no movements, just light coming out of me...

After that experience I kept having visions and dreams and equanimity for the longest time, even now when I meditate, bringing back that experience has an immediate effect on me. Yet, I knew with absolute certainty that it was not the way for me, I knew it would probably be the first and only time I tried Ayahuasca or any other drug in my life. It's hard to explain, I just know it.

P.S. For my mom it was the most terrible thing she ever experienced, absolute fear. Yet, since then she has gone back twice. Every time she has had revelations that have been very significant and very useful to untie the "knots".








Edited by: Ramsses II at: 10/24/05 6:03 pm
moyma
Registered User
(10/27/05 7:04 pm)
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Re: Ayahuasca
Thamks for sharing this...sometimes it's hard to write stuff like this , I like the fact that you chose the walrus to share it.
It shows that you value the people that post here.
Good stuff !

Ramsses II
Registered User
(10/27/05 7:40 pm)
Reply
Re: Ayahuasca
This is not my experience, but copied from a post on another forum. I have posted it here because I believe it may be helpful to some to break out of a hardened mindset.

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